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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24197251">A marriage of convenience?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/BDA/pseuds/BDA'>BDA</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Awkward Sexual Situations, Awkwardness, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, F/M, Fake Marriage, Fake/Pretend Relationship, First Time, Friends to Lovers, Gen, Multi, Mutual Pining, Pining, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Weddings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-15</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-03 01:28:33</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Explicit</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>66,787</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24197251</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/BDA/pseuds/BDA</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The Ministry of Magic is preparing to pass new and extremely restrictive laws against magical beings. The Order must scramble to protect Remus, who will be greatly affected by the restrictions on werewolves. Thankfully Dumbledore has a solution. It is decided that Remus will marry Tonks - a pretend relationship to take advantage of a loophole in the laws. Will it work? How will the pair find being married to each other?</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Remus Lupin/Nymphadora Tonks</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>174</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>191</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. The Plan</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I love the trope of fake/pretend relationships and marriage law type fics so I'm trying my hand at it. I hope the laws and the loophole are believable, I have tried my best to make it believable. This fic will be slow burn - I have about 8 chapters in mind right now, and it will probably be longer than that. I'd love to know what you think in the comments! Enjoy!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It was with a growing sense of apprehension that Nymphadora Tonks approached Headquarters after her Ministry shift had ended. Kingsley had discreetly stopped her in the hallway to tell her that her presence was requested at headquarters that evening. When Tonks had expressed her surprise that there was a meeting that night, as she hadn’t remembered there was one and she never forgot a meeting, Kingsley informed her that it was not a full meeting but rather a private one that she was to be an integral member of. He knew no more details than that and could linger no longer so he continued on his way, leaving Tonks with many questions and a dawning feeling of apprehension. </p>
<p>Had something happened? Was she being kicked out of the Order? She knew she was clumsy, and often put her foot in her mouth and said the wrong thing, but never on a mission. She always completed her Order work and her ministry work on time. Despite the way it seemed whenever she tripped over the troll’s leg in the entryway, or tumbled down the stairs into the kitchen, Tonks was a skillful and disciplined auror. She would be devastated if they were kicking her out. She had been longing for a sense of purpose before Mad-Eye invited her to her first meeting. She valued being able to help with resistance efforts. She’d miss the new friends she had made among her comrades. Who would catch her when she tripped over things if Remus wasn’t there with his strong arms and patient smile? Or how would she spend her Thursday nights if she wasn’t in the kitchen at Grimmauld, drinking with her cousin and Remus?</p>
<p>Tonks tried to draw herself out from these worries. No use pondering the worst-case scenario when she could just go inside and find out.</p>
<p>She entered the old house quietly, hanging up her coat and kicking off her steel-toed boots before padding down the hall, stealthily navigating the hateful umbrella stand, and descended into the kitchen. </p>
<p>There was an eclectic group of Order members present in the room already. Professor Dumbledore stood at the head of the table, apparently placating Sirius, who stood to his left gesturing animatedly as the pair engaged in a heated discussion. Remus stood to Sirius’ left, arms crossed over his chest, looking every bit as unhappy to be there as Tonks felt. </p>
<p>That wasn’t good, she thought, Remus was one of the most patient, easy-going people she had ever met. The man went out of his way to help others all the time. He was always helping Molly cook and clean up after meals, and running errands for Sirius, and helping Tonks however he could. If he wasn’t happy about this, it couldn’t be good.</p>
<p>On the right side of the room stood Mad-Eye and Kingsley looking grave. Everyone turned now as Tonks entered the kitchen, moving to stand nearer the group.</p>
<p>“Evening all” She said apprehensively.</p>
<p>“Evening, Tonks.” The others echoed back.</p>
<p>“Evening, cousin.” Sirius greeted her still looking troubled.</p>
<p>“Thank you for coming, Nymphadora.” Dumbledore greeted her. She didn’t dare correct him on the use of her first name, though she knew that he knew quite well that it was not how she preferred to be addressed. “Let us all take a seat so that I can fill you in on the matter at hand.”</p>
<p>The sound of chairs scraping across the stone flooring was the only noise in the kitchen. The atmosphere was crackling with tension. Tonks wondered if everyone but her knew what was going on here but thought that perhaps they did not as she saw some questioning looks travel between the group.</p>
<p>“Now, as some of you are no doubt aware, the Ministry of Magic is preparing to pass a new wave of restrictions against magical beings. I have already spoken to Bill Weasley about how we can assist those Goblins not safely employed by Gringotts, and I will be speaking with Hagrid about if anything can be done for the sake of the giants when I return to Hogwarts. The focus of this meeting is on those restrictions which affects werewolves, as those are perhaps the most restrictive.” </p>
<p>Tonks felt guilt wash over her. She had not been reading her Ministry memos this week, finding them too trifling and irritating in their lack of acknowledgement of the dark forces encroaching on society. She did not know the details of these restrictions and had not considered the fact that they would affect Remus. She had entered the building tonight thinking only of herself, it had not occurred to her that this meeting would not be about her. </p>
<p>She snuck a glance at Remus, who sat stiffly, staring at Dumbledore with an unreadable expression. </p>
<p>“Obviously this will greatly impact Remus,” Dumbledore continued on. “Some of these restrictions will make normal life extremely difficult and will greatly reduce the work that he can do for the Order. I want us all to be aware of these restrictions before we carry on, but I see no reason to repeat them to those who have already had the displeasure of hearing them, so please take one of these Ministry leaflets and read them over if you need to remind yourself.” Dumbledore said, passing forward a stack of official Ministry leaflets, much like the stack sitting on the edge of her desk at work. </p>
<p>RESTRICTIONS APPLICABLE TO: WEREWOLVES<br/>
CLASSIFICATION: BEAST XXXXX</p>
<p>1.	No werewolf may hold Ministry of Magic employment<br/>
2.	No werewolf may loiter in public spaces without cause<br/>
3.	All werewolves must submit themselves for Registration by the Magical Beasts Division<br/>
4.	All werewolves must carry identification cards declaring their status<br/>
5.	All werewolves will submit to a blood draw for the purposes of a tracking spell</p>
<p>Tonks had to stop reading. She felt sick. These restrictions would limit freedoms tremendously. How would Remus continue to work for the Order if his every movement could be tracked? How would Remus work at all? </p>
<p>Tonks saw her horror reflected in the faces of those around her who had been examining the memo. Remus and Sirius, she noted, had not picked up memos. Remus looked defeated, and Sirius looked mutinous. Clearly, they were among the first to know about this.</p>
<p>“What are we doing to stop this?” Tonks blurted out.</p>
<p>“There isn’t anything we can do.” Remus told her, in a voice tinged with resignation.</p>
<p>“Of course, there is! Damn you, Remus! You may be willing to let the Ministry step all over you, but I for one am not! If I have to break into the ministry and earn my Azkaban sentence by killing that damned committee, I’ll do it!” Sirius exploded, showing that despite his rebellious ways he still shared the Black family temper, and recklessness. </p>
<p>Remus rolled his eyes at this, a sign of over a decade of putting up with Sirius’ temper and dramatic antics. “Always the extremes with you! I’m not willing to – ‘let the Ministry step all over me’- as you say, but I do know how this works, Sirius. I have been living with this since I was a child! Hell, my father was involved in putting together some of the first restrictions on werewolves! A violent course of action will only prove them right in their prejudiced narrative of savagery about werewolves. We must take a different approach!”</p>
<p>“What’s your suggestion then?” Sirius spat back, though he clearly understood the logic of his old friend’s words. </p>
<p>Remus’ only response was to pick at a loose splinter of wood at the table.</p>
<p>Dumbledore spoke, “Now, I would not have called you all here if I did not have some suggestions for actions we could take. I have come up with a number of plans which I have discussed with Mad-Eye, who perhaps, knows better than any of us what the Ministry will and will not believe. We have worked together to narrow down our options to what we believe is the most viable solution”</p>
<p>All eyes turned to Dumbledore. Tonks found herself suddenly feeling as though she was eleven years old again, having just been sorted into Hufflepuff, and looking up to the head table as the legendary headmaster rose to give his welcoming address. She remembered the awe she felt, finally meeting the great Professor Dumbledore that she had heard about from her parents’ stories. In this brief moment, she wanted to feel that feeling again, the sense that Dumbledore was more than an ordinary man and that he could solve all their problems for them.</p>
<p>“Remus, your notoriety from two years ago means that your actions leading up to the passing of this law will be carefully monitored. We must act quickly to implement this plan if it is to work. We have some options should this not succeed, or should the participants not be willing, but please believe me when I say that we have tried to decide on the most likely to succeed plan, that will have the least damaging impact on the lives of those involved. Before I explain this plan to all of you, I trust I do not need to remind you that what we say in this room tonight must not be spoken of outside of these walls, and must not be revealed to anyone, anyone, but those assembled in this room right now. For everyone but those present here at this moment, this will be reality. We need as many of our members to truly believe that the plan is real in order to create a believable deception.”</p>
<p>The Order members glanced at each other. What would Dumbledore’s plan be? And who were the participants? Tonks made a mental catalogue of all those not present in the room and wondered how it would feel to keep a secret from them. Worse, to lie to them. She could feel her palms sweating as nervous energy gathered like an icy sludge in her belly.</p>
<p>“What is the plan?” Remus croaked, breaking the heavy silence that enveloped them. He looked like a man desperately trying not to get his hopes up. He looked like a man who had been stranded out to sea who feared that the ship approaching on the horizon was nothing but a mirage.</p>
<p>“There is a loophole present in these restrictions. It is built in several layers back but cannot grandfathered in with new changes. If we take advantage of this loophole, the ministry cannot negate its protection later on, even if they realise its existence. These restrictions apply only to unmarried men. The laws specifically identify werewolves who are ‘unattached by the bounds of polite society by bonds of matrimony or indenture to those of wholly human status, as per ministry of magic specifications.’ This is perhaps, because the ministry does not believe that a- pardon my phrasing Remus- a fully human person would want to marry a werewolf, but it provides us an actionable way to circumvent these restrictions.”</p>
<p>There were a few beats of silence as they all took in this piece of information.</p>
<p>It was her opinionated cousin who broke the silence first. “That’s the solution? That’s all it would take? Ol’ Moony here just has to find himself a ball and chain before the laws are passed?” He asked incredulously. </p>
<p>Tonks made a note to kick him in the shin later for the antiquated, misogynistic reference.</p>
<p>“This could prove rather difficult, Sirius, Professor. I know I keep my personal life to myself, but it surely has not escaped your notice that I am single. That I have never had a serious relationship of any considerable length.” Remus spoke, a pink blush creeping up his neck and into his cheeks as he spoke.</p>
<p>“I’ll help, I used to get all the girls back at school, remember?” Sirius piped up, a smug grin on his face.</p>
<p>Remus let out the sigh of someone who remembered only too well what Sirius was like at school. “I don’t recall any of those relationships lasting very long, Padfoot. And you were not a penniless monster.”</p>
<p>“You’re not a monster!” Tonks was surprised to hear the defense shoot from her lips before she had time to think.</p>
<p>Remus looked startled for a moment. Perhaps he had forgotten she was there. “Thank you for the vote of confidence, Nymphadora, but there are very few people out there who see me that way.” He responded patiently. “Besides, I never intended to marry. I cannot abide by condemning someone to a life of poverty and prejudice because of me. I certainly will not do so as a farce just to save my own skin.”</p>
<p>Tonks had to bite her lip before she did something ridiculous like offer to marry him herself.</p>
<p>Remus continued, “Even if I was willing to burden someone with all that comes with marrying a werewolf, and even if I had Sirius’ uh- dating advice- I just don’t see how I would have time to meet someone and convince them to marry me in six weeks.”</p>
<p>“That leads us to some of the details of this plan. We are agreed that there is not enough time to meet someone who can be trusted with this situation. This is why we are suggesting you marry someone you already know.” Dumbledore explained.</p>
<p>Again, Sirius spoke up. “You know that if I were a free man, I would marry you tomorrow old friend.”</p>
<p>“That is indeed a kind gesture, a sign of a wonderful friendship.” Dumbledore said, a twinkle in his eye, as the others in the room looked equal parts exasperated and amused. “However, we need this marriage to be as above-the-board as possible in order to prevent the ministry from finding an excuse that could allow them to nullify it. Therefore, escaped Azkaban inmates are off limits. A same-sex marriage is also unadvised, as unfortunately, we have a long way to go in our society before there is true marriage equality.”</p>
<p>“who then? Emmeline is married, so can’t be her. Hestia?”</p>
<p>“Hestia is-- unable.” Dumbledore said tactfully. Unwilling, was the unsaid truth. </p>
<p>“Arabella?” Kingsley suggested.</p>
<p>“Figg?! She’s eighty if she’s a day!” Sirius retorted. </p>
<p>“It’s a sham marriage, it hardly matters how old she is.” Remus replied, though he looked taken aback at the idea of marrying the cat hoarding squib who had kept an eye on Harry Potter’s aunt and uncle all these years.</p>
<p>“Well, at least you’ll be closer to Harry, mate.” Sirius said, trying to contain his mirth.</p>
<p>“No, we were not thinking of Arabella.” Dumbledore said. There was something meaningful in his tone, but Tonks couldn’t read it. Who else was there? Molly Weasley was also married. There weren’t many other women in the order. </p>
<p>Tonks was running the order members through her head, trying to think of what other women there were, when she suddenly felt as though she were in an episode of the twilight zone, her Grandma Tonks’ favourite telly program, as she realized every person in the room had turned to look at her. </p>
<p>Oh. Shit. She was an unmarried female order member who was relatively close to Remus’ age. He was only what, twelve years older? The reason she was invited to this meeting became quite clear. </p>
<p>“Oh, Me? Uh-“She stumbled, unsure what the appropriate response was. </p>
<p>Remus, however, seemed to know exactly what he wanted to say. “Absolute not. No. No way. Not Nymphadora.”</p>
<p>Tonks felt a rush of mortification spread through her. Jeez protest much? She had thought her and Remus were quite friendly. She didn’t realize that marrying her was such a terrible prospect, and she said as much to him.</p>
<p>He looked horrified at her words. “No! That’s not- I mean you’re- You’re- well, you’re lovely. It’s not that I have a problem with you. But you are so young! You’ve got so much of your life ahead of you. I can’t ask you to marry me and waste your youth.”</p>
<p>“I’m not that young, and you’re not that old Remus.” She told him. “You’re what, thirty-six?”</p>
<p>“thirty-five.” Piped up Sirius, looking positively gleeful.</p>
<p>“See! That’s twelve years difference.” Remus looked scandalized. “Don’t you dare say that’s a lot. It’s not that bad. I’m an adult, I have a stable job, I’m well-respected in my position. We work well together on order missions. We have a believable connection outside the order, because you ‘used to be’ best friends with my mum’s cousin. That’s how we can make up a story how we met.” Tonks said firmly, the viability of this plan becoming clearer to her as she spoke. She couldn’t quite believe she was pushing to convince Remus Lupin that she was strategically good choice for a fake wife.</p>
<p>“Wonderful! I’m glad you see the logic behind it miss Tonks. It is a good idea for you two to start deciding on the story of how you met, and your courtship. There are many details that need to be straightened out. The story needs to be perfect, and you must both know it by heart. It has to be believable to all who will question it- and they will question it.” Dumbledore said. </p>
<p>Remus looked like he wanted to interject with more reasons why this was not a good idea, but Dumbledore raised his hand to quiet him.</p>
<p>“My dear boy, I understand that this is not ideal. For either of you. However, Tonks is relatively close in age, she is currently unattached, you enjoy each other’s company, she is a respected Ministry employee. There are many reasons we believe she would be the best fit. We see no more viable option. Hopefully, in a few years’ time, there will be a shift in perception of werewolves, and we can repeal the restrictive laws, in which case you two can seek an amicable divorce and still have fulfilling lives after this. For now, though, we must act quickly. What do you say Nymphadora, will you agree to this?” Dumbledore explained, ending with a question posed directly to her.</p>
<p>Tonks took a steadying breath, looked at Remus and his warm brown eyes, and then back to Dumbledore. “Yes, sir. I’ll do it.”</p>
<p>“Very well. Remus, will you agree to this?”</p>
<p>After a long pause in which Tonks worried Remus would disagree, Remus responded, “Yes. If Tonks is willing, I’ll do it.”</p>
<p>“Excellent. We will have much to arrange, but for now, I believe Molly Weasley has just arrived with the ingredients for a truly wonderful dinner.” Dumbledore said, sealing both Tonks and Remus’ fates with a clap of his hands.</p>
<p>Tonks would never understand how the headmaster could do that, as, true to his word, Molly Weasley came bustling into the kitchen laden with bags of groceries.</p>
<p>“Oh! Dear! We haven’t missed a meeting, have we? Arthur is just following behind.”</p>
<p>“No, Mrs. Weasley. We just find ourselves keeping each other company here this evening. I myself arrived only moments ago, in the hopes that you might have dinner to share. I am quite partial to your steak and kidney pie.” Dumbledore said.</p>
<p>“Oh, well I know my cooking doesn’t compare to those Hogwarts house elves, but I’m flattered all the same. Everyone is welcome, I didn’t know who would be here, so I brought plenty of ingredients.” Molly said, preening under the headmaster’s praise.</p>
<p>“Let me help you with those bags, Molly” Kingsley offered, taking a bag from her and disappearing to the far end of the kitchen with her.</p>
<p>Tonks watched them walk away, struck by the sudden wish to run as far away from here as possible.</p>
<p>What had she just agreed to?</p>
<p>The Mad-Eye and Dumbledore headed to the other end of the room as well, presumably to help or to seat themselves for dinner. This left Tonks standing with Remus and Sirius. Remus looked a bit like she felt, like the rug had just been pulled out from under him. Sirius looked positively gleeful. He leaned over and whispered something into Remus’ ear that made him start.</p>
<p>“Don’t you dare say anything about that. She doesn’t need to know.” Remus responded fiercely.</p>
<p>“I don’t need to know what?” Tonks asked, moving to stand closer to the pair.</p>
<p>Remus opened and closed his mouth a few times, like a fish out of water. When it appeared that he would not be able to find his voice to speak to her, Sirius spoke up.</p>
<p>“Nothing. It’s not important. What IS important, is deciding when you two lovebirds should meet to plan out your love story.” Sirius crowed. “How about over dinner? Not tonight, a private one. Just the two of you. I’ll light some candles myself.” Sirius suggested.</p>
<p>“Sirius. Leave off. We’ll organize it ourselves.” Remus said, having found his voice and lost his patience in the same breath.</p>
<p>“all right, all right.” Sirius said placatingly, before moving off to the other end of the kitchen to join the others.</p>
<p>Tonks decided she might need to take charge of this situation, as Remus was clearly still struggling to wrap his head around everything that had just happened.</p>
<p>“Right, so- did you have somewhere you needed to be after this? because I was thinking we could just sit down together after everyone leaves and iron out the details.” Tonks said, trying to sound more in control of things than she felt.</p>
<p>“Oh, er- yeah, I mean no- No I don’t have anywhere I need to be after this, and yes we should probably work on the details sooner rather than later.” Remus agreed. </p>
<p>Tonks was comforted by the fact that he seemed to be as out of his depth as she felt. Realistically, this wasn’t so bad. Remus was a nice bloke; he had proven himself to be intelligent and witty and he could be quite fun once he was pulled out of his shell. Still, she had never considered him as a romantic possibility. He wasn’t anything like the guys she usually went for. They probably didn’t have the same interests in hobbies, music, or things like that. She was willing to do this if it would help him though. There was no way she could stand by and watch Remus suffer under these restrictive laws if she could do anything about it.</p>
<p>Having gathered her resolve, Tonks decided there was no time like the present to get started. She reached out slowly and took a hold of one of Remus’ hands. He looked surprised but he did not pull away. She squeezed his hand comfortingly, noting how warm and large his hand felt in hers, and how she could feel the callouses on his palms.</p>
<p>“Let’s go have dinner then, shall we?” she suggested encouragingly.</p>
<p>The pair joined the others at the other end of the kitchen and took their seats. They got a few glances from the others. Molly’s eyebrows shot up into her hairline when she spotted their intertwined hands, but then she beamed at them. That was a good start. Hopefully the other Order members would believe them about their ‘relationship’, and that their response would be positive. </p>
<p>Dinner passed uneventfully, the food was delicious as always and conversation flowed easily after a brief pause. Finally, after the last plate had been cleared and dishes had been washed and dried and put away, everyone began to file out. </p>
<p>Molly was the last to leave, she insisted on leaving leftovers for Sirius, including some muffins that Arthur had brought when he arrived, in her ongoing effort to fatten Sirius up. The pair had clashed heads quite strongly at the beginning, what with twelve years of false reputation preceding Sirius, the perceived threat to her children, and the mutual belief that each knew what was right for Harry. However, Molly softened a bit after she saw Harry and Sirius together and realized that he genuinely loved and cared for the boy the same way she did, and that Harry could never have too many people looking out for him. Tonks for one was very glad the two had made peace, as their strong-willed personalities meant if they were at odds, they clashed over just about everything in those early days. </p>
<p>This left just Tonks, Remus and Sirius standing in the entryway. Sirius took a look between the two of them and bade them goodnight, heading up to feed Buckbeak and read in his room.</p>
<p>Now only Tonks and Remus remained. The pair silently returned to the kitchen together to begin crafting the narrative of their relationship together. Tonks would have laughed if it was not so serious. Tonks took a seat as Remus started boiling the kettle. She thought she would probably have to get the ball rolling on this conversation given Remus’ tongue-tied silence earlier but found that Remus seemed to have a speech prepared for her once he placed a steaming mug of hot cocoa in front of her.</p>
<p>“Now that we’re alone, I want you to know that I completely understand if you don’t want to do this. I don’t want to tie you down. Marrying me will not be pretty. I am very poor; I struggle to remain employed for more than a month. That will be even worse once these laws are passed. I am always in ill health based on the lunar cycle, not to mention the danger I pose during the full moon. I can be laid up in bed for close to a week after a bad moon. I- I can be- difficult in the day or two leading up to the moon. People will be cruel to you. They will question your decisions, your motives. Your work might be harmed because of it. You won’t be able to have a real relationship until this is all over – we can’t risk someone finding out that this is a farce. There’s just so many reasons why this won’t work out. So, if you want to back out, just say the word I won’t be offended, and I’ll smooth everything over with Dumbledore.” Remus said, hardly stopping to take a breath. He had clearly been planning what he wanted to say for most of the evening.</p>
<p>“Remus, I’ve committed to this. To you. I’m going to go through with this. I know how to handle myself. I know the risks I am taking on. I have plenty of money to look after myself and a steady job. However, if you don’t want to marry me, I would also understand. But unless you have personal objections to our marriage, we should plan our courtship story.” Tonks told him firmly. </p>
<p>Remus looked relieved, but there was also some unreadable emotion written across his face. The pair set to work filling each other in on details of their lives, about their parents and growing up. They decided to say that they had met in Hogsmeade one afternoon when Remus was still a teacher at Hogwarts. In this story, Tonks had been responding to a call about dark magic at Honeydukes only to discover it was just students playing a prank. This part was true, and her auror records would serve as proof that at least some of what they said was true. From there, the meeting was a fabricated tale. While wrapping up that incident and suitably chastising the students, Tonks had decided to buy some chocolate as a pick-me-up before heading back to the Ministry, but found the section blocked by the then Professor R. J. Lupin, who spent an inordinately long time trying to decide what to buy. The pair struck up a conversation that went so well, Tonks had slipped him her owl address. From there, the pair had begun to chat via owl, and to occasionally meet for coffee. However, due to his embarrassing and public outing as a werewolf at the end of that school year, the couple took a break while she processed the news. They then got back together in the fall but decided to keep things very hush-hush because of his condition and her ministry work.</p>
<p>They decided to go to the non-traditional route and say that Tonks had proposed to him, that she had decided she was tired of waiting for him to make a grand gesture and simply asked him one evening over tea. She felt she was sacrificing enough for the relationship; he should at least make an honest woman out of her. The pair decided they wanted a quiet wedding of only friends and family. They had gone back and forth on whether to tell anyone in advance, not wanting backlash and disapproval to taint the happy decision but decided that they wanted to be honest about their relationship no matter what. This is why no one knew in advance. </p>
<p>They had not yet organized the wedding details, other than that they would get married in about a one month, under the six-week deadline but with enough time to tell everyone and plan a small wedding. For now, the pair were exhausted, and Remus retired to his room upstairs while Tonks headed back to her apartment.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Spreading the word</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Remus and Tonks spread the word about the upcoming nuptials, but not everyone is supportive.</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Heading into work at the Ministry the next day felt very strange indeed. It had not been that long since she had left work the night before, but so much had changed.</p>
<p>Remus had shown up at her flat that morning. She had just finished putting on her auror robes when she heard the knock at the door. </p>
<p>“Oh! Hi Remus, come on in.” She greeted him when she opened the door.</p>
<p>He stepped nervously into her flat, aware that he had never been here before. </p>
<p>“I’m sorry to stop by unannounced, but I wanted to give you this. I thought maybe you could start wearing it, to help with the believability now that we need to start telling people.” He explained, as he held out a small velvet box to her.</p>
<p>She took the box from his outstretched hand and opened it up. Nestled into the satin pillow inside the box was delicate engagement ring. The thin silver band was designed like two strings twisted together, and a small jewel sat in the centre of it. It was not extravagant by any means, but Tonks was struck by its beauty. She wondered where he had gotten it, as she did not think he had the time nor the financial means to get a ring like this on such short notice.</p>
<p>“Wow, Remus. It’s beautiful. Where did you get it?” she asked him in awe. </p>
<p>“It belonged to my mother. She left it to me when she passed, she always hoped one day I’d marry.” He told her. “May I?” he asked, gesturing to the ring.</p>
<p>“Of course.” She replied, feeling humbled that he was giving this sentimental family item to her. </p>
<p>He took the ring from the box and then held her hand in his as he slipped the delicate ring onto her finger. There was a moment where Tonks could almost imagine this was real, as he held her hand in his and gave her a wry smile. </p>
<p>“Thank you. It’s beautiful. Thank you for trusting me with your mother’s ring. I’ll keep it safe.” She told him.</p>
<p>They hadn’t been able to talk for much longer, as Tonks was expected at work. They had said their goodbyes and walked out from her apartment together.</p>
<p>Now, she was in line in the Ministry atrium to sign in at the wand check desk. She made a point to flash the ring as she handed over her wand for verification, exactly like she had seen some other girls do when they had gotten engaged. There was a chorus of ooh’s and appreciative murmurs from some of the women behind her in line. She thought she recognized them from the Magical Resources department.</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s lovely! When did he propose?” one asked.</p>
<p>“I asked him actually. He was taking too long.” Tonks replied, turning to show off the ring to them better. “He just gave me the ring last night though.”</p>
<p>“Oh, very modern of you. It’s a nice enough ring. I had to give my bloke so many hints to make sure he’d get me a nice ring. He has no taste in jewelry.” One of the women told her, holding out her own hand to show off a ring that Tonks personally would have considered a bit gaudy.</p>
<p>“All’s well that ends well, it’s certainly a showstopper.” Tonks replied. “Mine is a family heirloom, left to him by his late mother.”</p>
<p>There was a chorus of awes, “SO romantic!” and a wave of congratulations before Tonks continued on her way.</p>
<p>Well, that was one interaction down. She felt slightly bolstered by a successful start to lying about the engagement. When she arrived at her cubicle upstairs, she was first greeted by Kingsley who was genuinely surprised to see the ring on her finger.</p>
<p>“Hello Tonks. You have news to share with us, I see.” He said, drawing the attention of Dawlish and Proudfoot. Their unit was rather close-knit, so even though Kingsley was technically her direct supervisor they were still all on quite friendly terms.</p>
<p>“Morning Kingsley. Yes, I’ve been keeping everything hush hush but- have a look.” Tonks said, trying to sound genuinely excited. It helped that Kingsley did not know about the ring. She held out her hand and showed it to her gathered audience. “I’m getting married!”</p>
<p>Tonks launched into the story of how she had been the one to ask, but how he had created a romantic moment to give her the ring, and how it was a family heirloom. </p>
<p>“Who’s the lucky guy then? I didn’t know you were seeing anyone.” Proudfoot asked somewhat suspiciously.</p>
<p>“I’m not sure you know him, Remus Lupin. He was a professor at Hogwarts a few years ago. I got a call out to Hogsmeade one day, to Honeydukes, and we met then. He’s a very private person, so we’ve been keeping it on the down low. And it’s been really nice actually, having this to ourselves. But you know me, I’m not one for keeping secrets – about things like this anyways – and I just had to tell people.” She gushed, trying to pretend she didn’t see the reactions from Proudfoot and Dawlish as they recognized the name.</p>
<p>“Remus Lupin? The werewolf?” Dawlish asked incredulously.</p>
<p>“Yes. Among other things.” Tonks said shortly. “I’ll admit his condition took some getting used to, we broke up for most of that summer after word got out and I learned what he was, but we just can’t seem to stay apart. I missed him terribly and I decided that I could look past it. I’m an auror after all, I can handle myself.” Tonks explained, hating that she had to speak so judgementally of Remus’ condition. She didn’t see it as something people had to ‘get over’, it shouldn’t matter in the first place. It’s not like he could help it.</p>
<p>“hmm. I heard good things about his tenure at Hogwarts.” Kingsley said. “But are you sure you know what you are doing?” Kingsley couldn’t be too outwardly supportive, or it would be suspicious, they had to make sure no one suspected they knew each other outside of work, lest their Order membership be suspected.</p>
<p>“Yes, thanks. I’m an adult and I can make my own choices.” Tonks told him shortly. “This is partly why we kept it so discreet. We didn’t want to hear what anyone else would have to say about it. We knew there would be people who wouldn’t understand. But I want to be honest about my relationship. I hope that you lot will support me, or at least mind your own business on this matter.” She said firmly. </p>
<p>“Alright, Tonks. Can’t say I have the same taste in relationship partners as you, but I will keep my thoughts to myself.” Kingsley said placatingly. </p>
<p>“I suppose if I don’t have to hear too much about it, I can turn a blind eye.” Proudfoot said dubiously. </p>
<p>Dawlish said nothing, appearing to still be disturbed by this news. Tonks knew he was the most hardline, old school of the aurors on her unit.</p>
<p>“Don’t you all have work to do?” demanded the booming voice of their boss Rufus Scrimgeour as he strode past the bull pen. There was a man who always walked as though he needed to be somewhere urgently.</p>
<p>The gathered aurors returned to their desks immediately. Tonks made it her first order of business to read through all the gathered memos on the edge of her desk. Next, she wrote two notes, one to Remus asking him if he would like to come with her to meet her parents that weekend, and another to her mum asking if she could come to tea that weekend to introduce her to someone. Her mother would be pleased, she hadn’t had a boyfriend in a while. Tonks hoped she would still be happy when she found out who Tonks’ new beau was, and that they were getting married.</p>
<p>Thankfully, the rest of the morning passed in a blur of writing reports. She received affirmative responses from both Remus and her mother. Her mother’s response was full of questions, as Tonks knew it would be, and Remus’ had only one – what he could bring. He was too sweet. She responded to him with the name of the bakery she knew her mother had been wanting to try and a request that he bring a dessert. She responded to her mother that they would have lots of time to talk on Saturday. Tonks also received a coded message from the Order that a meeting would be held on Friday night. Today was Wednesday, so she had some more time before she would have to make further announcements.</p>
<p>That afternoon, Tonks and Dawlish were called out to Knockturn Alley to respond to a dangerous potions spill. This was a relatively common occurrence for aurors and was treated with some degree of exasperation. </p>
<p>Tonks and Dawlish flooed through the Leaky Cauldron and then passed the bright, colourfully lit Diagon Alley to reach the stairs to the lower levels of Knockturn Alley. Tonks always marvelled at how the arrival of aurors at the top of the stairs sent those lurking in the shadows scuttling away, like rats when you shone a torch into a sewer. </p>
<p>The pair descended the stairs and walked down the alley. They moved with purpose so as not to get sidetracked with all the various indiscretions one could happen to see on this street. They arrived at a potion shop about halfway up the street. The door creaked ominously as they pushed it open and stepped inside. The walls were lined floor to ceiling with shelves full of jarred potions and potions supplies, all manner of liquids, powders, solids in every space along the walls. Shelves also lined the middle of the room, full as well with jars of various sizes and contents. Tonks caught sight of a pickled baby pig before she decided that she did not need to look to closely.</p>
<p>“Hello! Aurors Dawlish and Tonks responding to a call about a potions spill.” Dawlish declared. </p>
<p>A wizened old woman came around from behind a shelf. </p>
<p>“Yes. Yes. I called. Probably no need. Potion isn’t the issue. No. No. Patron is the issue. Yes. Yes. Needed the aurors to make him pay. Not our problem he dropped the potion. Still needs to be paid for. Yes, Yes, it does.” She croaked, gesturing the way to the back of the shop. </p>
<p>The old woman led the way to the back of the shop where the register was. There was the shattered remains of a potion jar and a large puddle of clotted brown potion that Tonks thought was far too reminiscent of sewage for her liking. The customer who had dropped this potion and now was apparently refusing to pay for it, stood by the register. Tonks was surprised by the man’s appearance; he was not what she had expected. He did not look particularly aggressive or angry, as most irate and difficult patrons they dealt with were. The man at the register was painfully thin and hunched over. He did not look like someone who would put up much of a fight.</p>
<p>“Here, here. This is him. Dropped the potion, he did. Wasted it. Wasted it. Still needs to pay for it. His fault it dropped, wasting our supplies. Hard stock to get, Wolfsbane is. Yes, yes.” The old woman said.</p>
<p>An icy chill curled in Tonks’ belly. Wolfsbane potion. That surely meant that this man was a werewolf. She could feel Dawlish’s eyes on her. </p>
<p>“The case is clear. You break it, you buy it. You’ll need to pay up.” Dawlish barked to the man.</p>
<p>“Please. I haven’t enough for two doses. I need the potion by month’s end but I can’t afford more. If I pay for this, I won’t be able to have the wolfsbane potion this month.” The man pleaded.</p>
<p>“Shouldn’t have been so clumsy, then. I’m afraid there is nothing we can do about it. You should be better prepared” Dawlish said firmly, crossing his arms across his chest to show his position was firm. “The Ministry provides secure transformation cells, should you need them” he added.</p>
<p>The man’s eyes darted between Dawlish and Tonks, silently begging for help. Tonks was at a loss for what to do. She was sympathetic to the man’s plight, she wished she could help him. The law here was clear though, and she could be seen to be overly sympathetic towards werewolves lest her relationship seem to be affecting her judgement. She didn’t know if Dawlish expected her to complain though, if he would doubt her relationship with Remus if she did not try to help this werewolf. </p>
<p>Tonks did not have to decide, as the man reluctantly reached into his pocket and withdrew a handful of coins. He carefully counted them out, having just a few knuts left over, and paid his fee. </p>
<p>As they left the store to return to the Ministry, Tonks felt unclean with guilt. </p>
<p>“Surprised you didn’t try to help him. Thought you might be championing werewolf rights now because of your boyfriend. Or- sorry- your fiancé” Dawlish remarked, pressing for a reaction out of her.</p>
<p>“The law was clear. I felt sorry for that man, but I couldn’t help him. My relationship with Remus has nothing to do with him being a werewolf, and I certainly wouldn’t allow it to harm my work.” She snapped crossly. </p>
<p>For the rest of the day, Tonks couldn’t get the image of the man’s gaunt face, or his pleading eyes out of her head. There was a lot she would have to get used to about Remus’s way of life and the prejudice much of the wizarding world had for werewolves. Tonks couldn’t believe that there were those in their society who had to go to a place like Knockturn Alley to get the medication necessary for their safety and to ease their condition. </p>
<p>Work continued as normal over the next two days, Tonks was kept very busy with paperwork and multiple call outs for petty disputes between neighbours. She hadn’t had a chance to get to Grimmauld Place since Tuesday, so tonight’s Order meeting would be the first time she had seen Remus since he gave her the ring on Wednesday morning. Tonight, they would be telling the rest of the Order that they were getting married. Her stomach was writhing with butterflies at the thought. She had agreed that Remus should meet her at her flat and they would arrive at the meeting together. He would be meeting her at 6:30, and it was now…6:15. Crap. She didn’t know what to wear. She didn’t know what colour her hair should be. She didn’t want to look like she was trying too hard, but she also felt like she should dress nicely.  The worst part was, this was just a dress rehearsal for the dramatic conversation she would have to have when she told her parents tomorrow. At least she knew what to wear to please her mother. She finally decided on a comfy royal blue sweater and her usual ripped jeans and made her hair royal blue to match.</p>
<p>It was not long before she heard the knock at her door, and she went to let Remus in. </p>
<p>“Hullo” he greeted her warmly.</p>
<p>“Wotcher, Remus.” She responded, a little shyly.</p>
<p>“Ready to tell the Order?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Ready if you are.” She responded.</p>
<p>“It’ll be fine, the Order are good people, I think they will support us.” He said, seemingly trying to comfort himself as much as her.</p>
<p>The pair headed out, apparating to the Grimmauld Place porch. Tonks reached over a took Remus’ hand, giving it a fortifying squeeze and making him blush a little. They entered the house and made their way down to the kitchen together. Most of the Order was already gathered around the kitchen table, with some standing against the wall. Tonks dropped his hand as they entered. A few heads turned their way when they walked in together and greetings echoed around the room. So far, everything was normal.</p>
<p>Remus and Tonks took seats next to Sirius, which was how they usually sat anyways. Sirius gave them a not so subtle thumbs up. Remus was almost immediately drawn into conversation with Arthur Weasley who wanted to go over details from their mission together earlier that week. Tonks in turn chatted with Sirius about work that week, and he talked about the particularly vicious doxy infestation in one of the drawing rooms upstairs.</p>
<p>It wasn’t long before the meeting began, and the different order members who had been on duty that week gave their reports. Dumbledore had a few updates, but overall there was not much new information to be gleaned that week. Tonks had a suspicion that Dumbledore had only called this meeting to give Tonks and Remus a chance to make their announcement while everyone was in one room. </p>
<p>Molly made the announcement that she was making a roast dinner, and that everyone was welcome. Remus and Tonks glanced at each other, now was the moment for them to speak up, before anyone not staying for dinner had left.</p>
<p>“Um, I actually have something I wanted to say, while we’re all here.” Tonks said, feeling as though she were a first-year student giving her first presentation to the class. “Remus and I have something to announce, actually. We’ve been keeping this very quiet because we know there will be some who don’t understand, and we didn’t want any judgement. But we are very happy, and we want our friends and family to know, so for that reason, we would like to let you all know that we- we’re getting married” Tonks said nervously, gesturing between herself and Remus.</p>
<p>Shock was the first response; many did not seem to know what to say. Tonks was beyond nervous.</p>
<p>“Oh, how wonderful! Oh, I’m so happy for you! A wedding!” Molly cried, clapping her hands together.</p>
<p>“Congratulations you too! You guys are perfect for each other!” Sirius said, giving Remus a hearty slap on the back that almost toppled him over.</p>
<p>This seemed to open the floodgates, as most of the order began to congratulate them. There were comments of surprise, or that they were a bit of an odd couple, but all in a good-natured way, and no one seemed verbally to be offended by the idea or disbelieving. Sirius pulled out a bottle of wine from one of the cupboards and began handing out glasses with Molly’s help. </p>
<p>“A toast! To my favourite cousin and my best friend!” he announced, pouring wine for everyone.</p>
<p>Remus surprised her by putting an arm around her shoulder and hugging her close to him. She leaned into his side and smiled up at him.</p>
<p>“Oh, aren’t you two just two cute. I don’t know how I never saw it.” Molly clucked.</p>
<p>“Huh. He’s a little old fer ya, dontcha think?”  Mundungus Fletcher broke the positive atmosphere. “And a werewolf and what all. You sure that’s wise? On’y are you sure he ain’t gonna infect you or sumthin’? I mean- has anyone ever ya know- done the do with a werewolf before? What if he turns you like with his- “it was at this point that Molly began loudly clattering dishes, blocking out Mundungus’ next words. “that gotta be the world’s worst STD, right?”</p>
<p>As with most things that Dung said, this was met with confusion, distaste, and anger. Several Order members grumbled at his words, but some seemed to see some reason in his madness.</p>
<p>“I thank you for your- ah- concern, Mundungus.” Remus said patiently. “However, my condition is only transmitted through the bite, and both Nymphadora and I know how to handle ourselves when it comes to my condition. I have been dealing with this since I was a small child, and Nymphadora is a fully-trained and skilled auror.” </p>
<p>“Right-o, I hear ya, but no lurve bites for you two then, eh?” Mundungus cackled, sending out a puff of putrid green smoke from his wretched pipe, even as Molly swatted him out of the kitchen with a tea towel, giving him a telling off that would have sent her boys cowering.</p>
<p>“Well I for one think we could all use a little more love in the world right now.” Professor McGonagall said diplomatically, which restored peace in the kitchen. </p>
<p>Remus rose to go help Molly with dinner, and Tonks took a steadying breath. That wasn’t so bad, she thought. Overall, everyone took it quite well. She could see that some members were a bit put off by the idea, but no one was voicing any outright discrimination on their relationship. However, Mundungus’ comments, and Remus’s arm around her shoulder earlier, had begun a swirl of new thoughts and questions she had not considered before. </p>
<p>Mundungus’ comments, though crass and unfounded, made her release that people probably thought they were having sex. That’s what people in committed relationships did, right? She felt weird about people thinking that she was having sex with Remus. She had just never considered him to be a sexual being, she guessed. Thinking about this made her think of Remus’s arm around her shoulder, which brought up the fact that married couples were often physically affectionate to each other. They would have to make it look believable. They would have to kiss! At the wedding at the very least, and it would probably be more believable if they were seen kissing more than just the once. Also, they were not supposed to be engaging in any outside relationships while under this pretend marriage. Tonks had gotten rather used to her current dry spell, but was she expected to be abstinent for years? Would Remus be okay being abstinent for that long? He had said he hadn’t had a long-term relationship, but that did not exclude short flings. She suddenly had so many questions and found herself a lot more unsure of her decision to accept this plan than she had been when she walked into the room.</p>
<p>Remus suddenly appeared at her shoulder, surprising out of her tunnel of worrying thoughts. “Sorry to startle you, you look like you’re thinking pretty hard over here. I brought you dinner.” He told her, setting a plate laden with food in front of her. He set his own plate down next to her and took his seat.</p>
<p>“Sorry, just thinking. Wedding plans, and all. Can we talk later?” she lied, aware that there were several people within earshot of their conversation.</p>
<p>“Of course. Lots to plan. Will you come to my room later?” he asked quietly.</p>
<p>If you were not aware of the secret plan, Tonks could imagine this seemed like an intimate couple’s conversation as the pair spoke in lowered voiced with their heads close together. She nodded the affirmative and they turned to their meals. </p>
<p>Sirius, who had apparently overheard this exchange, waggled his eyebrows at her and grinned suggestively.</p>
<p>Tonks flipped him the bird, which earned her a disapproving look from Emmeline.</p>
<p>Dinner passed without consequence, though Molly made it well known that she would be MORE than willing to help with wedding plans. </p>
<p>Remus went up to his room while Tonks was still saying goodbye to Molly, so she now found herself wandering down the hallway on the top floor to his room. She had never actually been in Remus’ room before, she realized. She had been in Sirius’ room across the hall, and she had stood in the doorway of Remus’ room, but never actually been in it.</p>
<p>She knocked gently on the door and heard Remus’ hoarse voice invite her in from the other side. She let herself in and shut the door behind her.</p>
<p>“I was just thinking, I’ve never actually been in your room before.” She told him conversationally as she looked around the room. It looked pretty much like every other room in Grimmauld, except there were a few very Remus touches to the room if you knew him well enough to spot them.  The soft-looking brown throw on the bed and the books sitting on every available surface made it clear it was his room. There were also several mugs sitting around the room, and she was sure there were would be varying levels of cold tea in each of them, as Remus had a terrible habit of forgetting about his tea. “It’s very you.” She told him as she realized she had been inspecting it for a little longer than maybe was polite.</p>
<p>“Thank you. I enjoy a few homey touches. It makes a difference to have some personal touches in this old house” He replied.</p>
<p>Tonks bit her lip, unsure where to go from here. Remus seemed to sense her discomfort and gestured to the desk and chair on the right side of the room. “Take a seat, please.” He offered.</p>
<p>Tonks gratefully took a seat in the chair while Remus perched himself on the edge of the bed.</p>
<p>“First of all, something upset you at dinner tonight, what was it?” Remus asked gently.</p>
<p>“Oh. It’s not important.” She said wanting to just brush it away, not wanting to admit her questions. “Actually, I have a few things about this agreement I just want to clarify.” She said in a rush, wanting to get the words out before she lost her nerve.</p>
<p>“Fire away. Please, don’t hold anything back, I’d rather we were completely honest and clear with each other. I don’t want you to be afraid to discuss anything with me.” Remus assured her.</p>
<p>“Thanks. And ditto, you let me know if you want to discuss any aspect with me.” Tonks responded. “I was wondering about what Mundungus said earlier…” she trailed off trying to decide how to word the questions Mundungus’ crass comments had inspired. Remus gave her a confused look.</p>
<p> “About the transmission of lycanthropy?” he questioned.</p>
<p>“No! no, I know how the condition is passed. I never thought it was sexually transmitted. Or that that is even applicable in this situation.” She hurried to clarify. “I’m just wondering about er- intimacy. Sex. I mean sex isn’t part of this agreement is it?” Tonks asked awkwardly.</p>
<p>Remus looked scandalized. “No! no. definitely not. I wouldn’t ask that of you.” </p>
<p>“Okay. Just wanted to clarify. I mean, we’ll be living in close quarters and all and we can’t have other relationships…”</p>
<p>“That isn’t an issue for me. I think we could find a way of working something out if you want to er- have friends over.” He said, discomfort evident in his voice.</p>
<p>“I don’t think that will be necessary.” She said, suddenly finding the books on the shelf nearest her to be very interesting.</p>
<p>“Okay then. Was that your only question, or…?” He trailed off.</p>
<p>Tonks wasn’t sure what to say on the matter of displays of affection so she decided that they could just keep playing it by ear.</p>
<p>“Yeah, actually. I think I’m okay now.”</p>
<p>Now that the awkward portion of the conversation was over, Tonks found that they were able to lapse into enjoyable conversation and before long Tonks glanced at her watch and realized it had grown quite late. </p>
<p>The two said goodnight and Tonks made her way home. Telling the rest of the Order had gone pretty well. Unfortunately, she did not think telling her parents tomorrow would go as smoothly. </p>
<p>Feeling a slight sense of deja-vu the next day, Tonks stood in front of her wardrobe trying to decide what to wear. She had already morphed her hair a light chestnut colour to please her mother, and now she knew she should wear a dress, or at least a skirt. She decided that the light yellow cap sleeved sundress her mother got her two birthdays ago would do. She dressed and checked herself in the mirror one more time. Remus would be here any minute and then they would be heading to her parents’ house. She thought she might feel more confident entering a red cap lair.</p>
<p>It wasn’t that her mother was a bad person, not at all. Andromeda Tonks was an amazing woman and a loving mother, but she had that strong-willed Black family trait. Once she made up her mind about something, it was hard to convince her otherwise. Tonks hoped that her mother’s own tumultuous love story would work in her favour. Andromeda had been disowned and ostracized by her prejudiced pure blood family after she chose to marry muggle-born Ted Tonks. Tonks hoped that her parents would remember what it was like to feel the family’s disapproval over their love, and that this would make them more understanding of her relationship with Remus. She knew her parents only wanted the best for her, but it was a difficult line between approving of her love and happiness and seeing their daughter married to an older, penniless werewolf.</p>
<p>The knock at the front door startled her out of her thoughts. When she opened the door, Remus appeared to be just as nervous as her, perhaps even more.</p>
<p>“Hello Tonks. You look lovely” He greeted her; tension evident throughout his body. He was holding a pastry box in his hands as though it contained the Queen’s jewels. “I bought puff pastries. I hope that’s acceptable. There is an assortment of filling flavours.” He told her.</p>
<p>“Sounds wonderful, thank you. My dad loves puff pastries, so that’s actually perfect.” Tonks told him.  He certainly was thoughtful. Her parents couldn’t deny that Remus was quite the gentleman.</p>
<p>“Any tips for me before we meet your parents?” Remus asked.</p>
<p>“Just be yourself. Your so polite, my parents will love you. I hope. This might be a shock for them but I’m sure they’ll come around.” Tonks told him, placing a reassuring hand on his arm.</p>
<p>Remus took a steadying breath and nodded. “All righty then. I suppose we better go. I’d hate to make a bad impression before we even get there by arriving late”</p>
<p>“Into battle then.” Tonks said, which made them both grin.</p>
<p>Walking up the front path to her parents’ front door never used to feel this long, Tonks thought. When they made it to the front door, Tonks knocked in her usual fashion while Remus straightened the sleeves on the tan sweater he was wearing. Tonks realized belatedly she hadn’t told him he also looked nice. He’d obviously chosen one of his best sweaters, it had hardly any mending on it. His brown slacks looked freshly pressed as well. It was sweet of him to try to dress up for her parents, but she knew they would still be able to tell that he was not a man of considerable means.</p>
<p>The front door opened, and Andromeda greeted her daughter with a hug, “Nymphadora! How lovely to see you. The ministry keeps you far too busy these days.” Andromeda then turned to her guest, her a myriad of shuttered thoughts passing over her face before she greeted Remus also. “It’s nice to see you, too. I believe we’ve met before.” </p>
<p>“It’s very good to see you again, Mrs. Tonks. Yes, we met in 1981, at the trial if I recall.” Remus said with some degree of discomfort. This was not a happy memory for any of them.</p>
<p>“Ah, yes, now I remember. Remus Lupin, isn’t it?”</p>
<p>“Yes, ma’am”</p>
<p>“You were at school with my little cousin Sirius”</p>
<p>“Yes, ma’am”</p>
<p>It was clear that her mother was making a note of their age gap.</p>
<p>“May we come in, mum? I want to say hallo to dad, and Remus has brought a dessert that should probably keep chilled.” Tonks interjected.</p>
<p>“Of course, sorry, just reminiscing. Ted is just in the sitting room” Andromeda said, waving them in. </p>
<p>Tonks kicked off her shoes in the entryway and Remus followed her lead, though he lined his shoes up neatly out of the way while Tonks preferred to leave hers the way they lay. Andromeda appeared to make note of this with some approval.</p>
<p>“Are those pastries from the Mariposa Bakery? I’ve heard such good things about them. I’ve been dying to try something from there.” Andromeda asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, I heard they are quite popular. This is an assortment of puff pastries.” Remus told her, passing her the box as the entered the kitchen. Andromeda made room for the box in the fridge to keep them chilled.</p>
<p>“Thank you very much, my husband is quite partial to puff pastries” Andromeda told him, as she led them into the sitting room.</p>
<p>Ted Tonks rose from his seat when they entered and came over to hug his daughter.</p>
<p>“Do my ears deceive me or did I just hear mention of puff pastries?” Ted said as he stepped back.</p>
<p>“Yes, dad. Remus brought them.”</p>
<p>Ted turned to greet their guest. “Ah, nice to meet you Remus.”</p>
<p>“Remus here was a friend of cousin Sirius’” Andromeda informed him meaningfully.</p>
<p>Ted missed this barb at Remus’ age and took a different meaning from Andromeda’s comment. “Oh yes. Well. Bad business, all of that.”</p>
<p>“Yes sir, it was a difficult time.” Remus replied. </p>
<p>Tonks had not told her parents of Sirius’ innocence, or her reunion with her long-absent older cousin. She wasn’t sure what their reaction would be, and she wanted Sirius to stay safe. She had been young when Sirius was sent to Azkaban, but she remembered only too well how her mother had both mourned him and cursed his name in equal parts.</p>
<p>The four of them moved to take seats on the couches. Tonks took her seat close enough to Remus that their shoulders and knees touched. </p>
<p>“So, it’s not often Dora brings home one of her boyfriends for us to meet. How did you meet?” Ted asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, it’s a funny story actually. We met about two years ago, I was a professor at Hogwarts at the time. T- Dora was responding to a call about dark magic use at Honeydukes in Hogsmeade, but it was only a couple of Hogwarts students on a weekend outing. They’d set off a particularly vicious stink bomb in the alley next to the shop, and when the proprietor stepped out to take the trash to the dumpster, he feared it might be a chemical attack. I was in the shop at the time, I was trying to decide on some chocolates, when Dora came over and asked me to hurry it along because she also wanted some chocolate after dealing with that incident and I was taking much too long. We needed up having quite the long chat, and I guess we just hit it off.” Remus explained. </p>
<p>“I don’t ever thing I’ll be able to teach this girl manners” Her mother lamented at hearing how her daughter had first spoken to him.</p>
<p>“Two years? That’s quite a long time to have known each other and not tell your parents.” Ted told her somewhat accusingly.</p>
<p>“We just having something to ourselves, that only we knew about, and besides, you know how you two get” Tonks responded.</p>
<p>“How do we ‘get’? protective? Interested in the life of our only child? Heavens what a burden.” Andromeda replied with the ease of a mother who often lamented about their child’s lack of communication and visits.</p>
<p>Tonks did not dignify this with a response. </p>
<p>“You said you are a professor at Hogwarts, Remus?” Ted asked conversationally.</p>
<p>“Ah- I was. I was formerly the Defence Against the Dark Arts professor.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that old jinx got to you too, did it? What made you leave?” Ted asked.</p>
<p>Remus looked intensely nervous to have to tell them that he was ousted as a werewolf. Tonks reached out and held his hand reassuringly, running her thumb along the back of his hand in a comforting gesture.</p>
<p>“I am a werewolf. Another member of staff informed the wider school body of my condition and I decided it would be better to resign than face the potential- displeasure from parents.” Remus explained.</p>
<p>This was clearly news to both of her parents, who both seemed to experience a myriad of emotions at learning this.</p>
<p>“Dumbledore allowed you to hold a position at the school?” her mother asked.</p>
<p>“Yes. He has known of my condition for a long time. He has always been supportive of me.” </p>
<p>“Was that really wise? to have a werewolf in the castle with all those children?”</p>
<p>“Mother!” Tonks interjected.</p>
<p>“No, it’s a fair question. I always transformed outside of the castle in a secure location, and I was taking the Wolfsbane potion in those days to make me less dangerous.” Remus explained.</p>
<p>“Less dangerous. But still a danger.”</p>
<p>“You said you ‘were’ taking the potion, but you aren’t now?” Ted asked.</p>
<p>“No, the potion is very complex. The ingredients are hard to come by, and even then, my potion skills are not advanced enough to prepare the potion myself. When I was teaching, the Hogwarts potion master made the potion for me. However, now I have neither the skills nor the means to acquire the potion.” Remus clarified.</p>
<p>“Financial means, you mean?” </p>
<p>“Mother! Stop it!” Tonks interjected again.</p>
<p>“Stop what? I am only asking for the truth here! A fine guest you’ve brought! An impoverished werewolf more than a decade your senior! And a friend to your traitorous, murdering cousin! Honestly, Nymphadora! I thought you’d left your rebellious phase behind!” Andromeda burst out.</p>
<p>Remus looked as though she wanted the floor to swallow him. Tonks squeezed his hand encouragingly.</p>
<p>“Perhaps it would be better if I left.” Remus said, moving to rise.</p>
<p>“yes, perhaps” Andromeda responded.</p>
<p>“No! Remus is staying” Tonks said firmly, tugging on his hand to make him take a seat again. “This is exactly why I’ve waited so long to tell you! Why I wasn’t sure we would tell you at all! I can’t believe you would be so horrible. You’ve hardly had a chance to get to know him! But I want my parents involved in my life, and I want you to be there on my wedding day, so I came to tell you and I’d hoped you’d be less judgemental and more focused on how happy he makes me!” She cried.</p>
<p>“w-wedding day?!” her parents said, almost in unison.</p>
<p>“Yes. Remus and I have decided to get married. We will be doing so with or without you. Just wanted you to know” Tonks said.</p>
<p>Her parents looked shocked. Her mother seemed to be at a loss for words, for once.</p>
<p>“Nymphadora, we need to talk about this!” her mother demanded.</p>
<p>“No. I am an adult. I have made up my mind. Remus and I are in love. He makes me so happy. I want to us to make this commitment to each other. I would like my parents to support me, but I know that Remus and I will be just fine without it. Just as you and dad were.” Tonks said.</p>
<p>The reminder of their tumultuous journey to be together seemed to strike a chord with her parents. Tonks decided to go all in and rose to leave, Remus getting to his feet beside her.</p>
<p>“Very well then. Goodbye.” She said with an air of finality.</p>
<p>“No. Dora, wait. Don’t go yet love.” Ted asked. “This is just a lot for your mother and I to take in. We only want what is best for you. We worry about you.”</p>
<p>“Mr. and Mrs. Tonks, if I may, I care deeply for your daughter as well. I tried to fight my feelings for her for a long time. I am not the best choice of husband for her. She could do so, so much better than me. But your daughter has chosen me. She is nearly impossible to say no to once she sets her mind to something. It took me a long time to give in and give our relationship a try. I promise you that I will spend every day of the rest of our lives trying to be the best man for your daughter.” Remus spoke passionately, Tonks might even have believed him herself, if she did not know this was all make-believe. </p>
<p>The combination of referencing her parents’ relationship journey, and Remus’ heartfelt message seemed to have made an impact on her parents.</p>
<p>“I can’t say I like this. You’re certainly right that you are far from the best choice for my daughter. But I love my daughter, and I can see that you do too. I will support her.” Andromeda said, pointedly focusing her support on her daughter and not both of them.</p>
<p>“Well, how about some lunch?” Ted suggested, breaking some of the tension in the room.</p>
<p>They moved into the dining room to enjoy their lunch. The atmosphere was still tense, and Andromeda directed all her questions and comments to Tonks, pointedly not addressing Remus. Through this stilted conversation, Tonks told her parents more about her and Remus’ relationship, and about the plan for the wedding to be in about a month. Tonks was glad they had decided on their story early as she was comfortable with it now under her parents’ third degree.</p>
<p>Eventually, they finished their meals and conversation dried up. Tonks decided they better take this opportunity to leave. They all needed some space now to think.</p>
<p>“I think we better go now, Mum, Dad.” Tonks said as she rose from the table.</p>
<p>Remus rose also and began carrying dishes into the kitchen.</p>
<p>“We haven’t had dessert” her dad said, looking disappointed to see them leave.</p>
<p>“You two can share those tonight. We’ve got a busy weekend ahead of us.” Tonks replied firmly.</p>
<p>“What are you up to this weekend?” her mother asked. </p>
<p>Tonks realized that she actually didn’t know what she should say they would be doing. She hadn’t actually made any plans with Remus. Remus returned from the kitchen then. “We’re moving the last of Tonks’ things into my place” he explained.</p>
<p>“Oh. You have a house?” Ted asked, somewhat surprised.</p>
<p>“Yes. It’s a cottage up in Wales.” He explained. “We thought it would make more sense, a bit more room and land and what not.”</p>
<p>This was the first Tonks was hearing of this, but she admired Remus’ quick thinking. She hadn’t thought about where they would live.</p>
<p>“Oh. Well, have fun.” Her father responded.</p>
<p>“Goodbye dear” her mother said. “Goodbye, Remus” she said stiffly.</p>
<p>“Goodbye Mr. and Mrs. Tonks, it was lovely to see you. I’m sure Dora will be in touch soon with details about the wedding” Remus said.</p>
<p>“Yes, soon. Bye, mum. Bye, dad.” She said as they made their way out the door.</p>
<p>“Well, that was horrible.” Tonks said once they were out of earshot.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I never meant to disrupt your relationship with your parents” Remus apologized.</p>
<p>“No, it’s not your fault. They’ll come around.” Tonks said. “Listen, I’ve got to get going, but I suppose you are probably right about moving in together. When would be convenient for you?” Tonks asked.</p>
<p>“Of course. I’m sorry I didn’t check with you before, it just seemed right in the moment” he said, and she waved off his apology. “I’m available all-day tomorrow, but I’m on duty for most of Monday and Tuesday” he added.</p>
<p>“Tomorrow then? I’m free all day.”</p>
<p>“Sounds good. Shall I meet you at your place around ten?” he asked.</p>
<p>“yes. See you then.”</p>
<p>“Okay, see you then”</p>
<p>Tonks surprised him them put throwing her arms around him and hugging him tight. After a moment, he returned the embrace. Tonks eventually pulled back and gave him a warm smile. She felt glad that at least she was doing this with him. She reminded herself that it was for a good cause.</p>
<p>The two parted ways, Tonks returning to her apartment. At least that part was over. She wished her mother was not so antagonistic to Remus. She hoped her mother would learn to like him</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Andromeda will come around eventually! And we may see some more fallout for Tonks at work, and both of them with the Order. Stay tuned to find out! </p>
<p>I'd love to hear what you think, positive or negative, in the comments!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. A Confusing Sense of Normalcy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Just a warning: There is 1 curse word and some kissing and brief non-explicit discussion of sex (don't worry the slow burn is still slowly burning - you will see when you get to those parts :) ). I don't think this warrants a change in rating, but I apologize if it offends anyone and I can change the rating if you think it needs to go higher.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Remus’ house looked like something out of a muggle fairy tale, Tonks thought to herself as they approached the little cottage. Remus’ house was a small one-story cottage at the edge of a small Welsh village. The cottage was set back from the main village along a long, winding path where it was the last vestige of civilization at the edge of a dense forest. Tonks was endeared to notice there was a messy but maintained garden out front, and a hand painted mailbox that looked like it had been there a long time. The house was not big, but Tonks found herself feeling immediately comfortable here, even before Remus unlocked the front door and let her inside.</p>
<p>“Somehow, this is completely unexpected and yet, exactly what I would guess your house would look like.” Tonks mused as they stepped into a little entryway alcove. </p>
<p>There was just enough room for them to hang their coats and kick off their shoes before the entryway opened up into a sitting room. The floor was covered in large woven oval rug made of a mixture of green and browns. A brown couch and a brown armchair faced a cozy looking fireplace. In the back corner was a square table with a couple of chairs around it, and a half finished game of wizard’s chess sitting atop it. </p>
<p>“How so?” Remus asked.</p>
<p>“Well, this sitting room is just so you. It’s so warm and comforting. But I just had no idea you owned a cottage by the woods, in Wales, of all places.” She elaborated.</p>
<p>“warm and comforting. That’s nice. Thank you.” He said, looking genuinely pleased to hear that assessment. “The cottage once belonged to my parents. They moved somewhere smaller, closer to the city, when I moved out to join the Order. They kept the house though, wanted me to have it.” Remus explained to her.</p>
<p>“You grew up here then?”</p>
<p>“Yes, for the most part. We moved here when I was about six or so. A big portion of my childhood anyways”</p>
<p>“Can I have the tour?” Tonks requested.</p>
<p>“Of course.” Remus replied. “This here’s the sitting room, as you’ve gathered, and then if we come through, the kitchen is here on the left- “ </p>
<p>The kitchen he pointed out was surprisingly spacious for the size of the house from the outside. The cabinets were white and there were butcher-block countertops. The Lupins were ahead of the trend, she noted wryly. She also noted the collection of decorative tea tins, and the kettle left on the burner for convenience. Yes, this definitely must be Remus’ house.</p>
<p>“Then down the hall are the bedrooms and bathroom. Just here to the right is the office slash study- “</p>
<p>It was a small room with a desk strewn with papers and walls covered in books. </p>
<p>“Here on the left is the bathroom- “</p>
<p>A simple white tiled bathroom with a tub/shower combo and a toilet and sink. Tonks noted the singular nature of the bathroom. She was struck by the thought of her and Remus getting ready for the day and going through their morning routines side by side in front of the mirror. The image seemed quite intimate though mundane.</p>
<p>“The last two rooms are the master bedroom on the left, and just across is a guest room, it used to be mine.” Remus told her.</p>
<p>Tonks peered into the master bedroom first. It was painted a soft robin’s egg blue, a large bed stood predominantly against the left wall of the room. It was covered in a plush white duvet. Tonks admired Remus’ bravery at having white sheets. Those wouldn’t last very long with her around. Each side of the bed had its own nightstand, and across from the bed was a dresser, but aside from that the room was sparsely furnished. Remus’ childhood room across the hall was painted an olive green, and had only a single bed against one wall, a nightstand, and a dresser. </p>
<p>“and that’s the tour. It’s not a big place, but I hope you will find it acceptable.” He said to her, looking nervous to hear what she thought of it. </p>
<p>“I love it. It’s so warm, I can tell this was a happy home. Is a happy home.” She told him genuinely. He smiled in relief.</p>
<p>The pair moved back into the sitting room so they could begin emptying their pockets of Tonks’ things. They had gathered up her belongings and put spells on the boxes to shrink them and make them feather light so that they didn’t have to make multiple trips. The began taking the boxes out of their pockets and reversing the spells. Tonks was glad she hadn’t had too much to bring, as she could see there was not much room. </p>
<p>Her apartment had been furnished when she moved in, so she only had to take her clothes and some Knick knacks. She had given her landlord her months’ notice, but she would be leaving the apartment empty starting now.</p>
<p>“I’ll just go move the dresser from the spare room into the master for your things.” Remus said as he placed the last box he had been carrying down.</p>
<p>“Thank you.”</p>
<p>“No problem. You can put your things anywhere you like around here, feel free to move things if you need to” He told her as he moved off down the hall to move the dresser.</p>
<p>Tonks began unpacking boxes, feeling strangely domestic as she placed her things in amongst Remus’ things. She thought her things brought a nice pop of colour to his sitting room, she hoped he would agree.</p>
<p>Tonks then brought the boxes with clothes and toiletries in them down the hall to the bedroom where Remus had just finished lining up the second dresser with the existing one so that the two were centred against the wall now. </p>
<p>“I’ll leave you to unpack and I’ll go make us some lunch.” Remus told her, moving off back down the hall.</p>
<p>When Tonks finished putting away her clothes in the dresser and some toiletries in the bathroom, she joined Remus in the kitchen. He appeared to be making them tuna fish and pickle sandwiches. Tonks’ favourite.</p>
<p>“I love tuna fish and pickle sandwiches.” She told him.</p>
<p>“I know.” He told her with a smile.</p>
<p>“You do?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, do you remember the first time you stayed over on a Thursday to drink with me and Sirius?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” she said as the evening in question came flooding back to her. “I made us all tuna fish and pickle sandwiches so we wouldn’t be too hung over the next day.”</p>
<p>He hummed in agreement, both of them smiling at the memory. “You gave us quite a lovely monologue about the delicious qualities of a tuna fish and pickle sandwich.”</p>
<p>“I bet I did. I can get quite poetic when I’ve had a few” she said.</p>
<p>“Really? I hadn’t noticed at all” he teased.</p>
<p>She smacked him on the arm, which almost made him drop the jar of pickles.</p>
<p>“Oops. Sorry!”</p>
<p>“Why don’t you take a seat? I wouldn’t want any glass in our sandwiches.” He suggested.</p>
<p>“Cheeky” she said but moved into the sitting room to take a seat at the table as he suggested.</p>
<p>Remus brought in their plates a moment later and they both tucked into their sandwiches.</p>
<p>“What time do you need to be at the Ministry tomorrow?” He asked.</p>
<p>“I officially make nine, but I usually try to head in for 8:30 to avoid the atrium rush.”</p>
<p>“Do you need me to wake you, or do you have an alarm?”</p>
<p>“I’ve got an alarm, thanks. What time are you normally awake?”</p>
<p>“I normally get up between seven and seven thirty.”</p>
<p>Tonks must have pulled a face because he laughed. “Not a morning person then?”</p>
<p>“Anything before eight is still nighttime.” She informed him.</p>
<p>“We’ll have to agree to disagree. If the sun’s up, I’m up.” He told her.</p>
<p>“Oh no. You’re one of those perky, productive morning people.” She groaned. “Is it too late to cancel the wedding?”</p>
<p>Remus let out a loud bark of laughter that got Tonks laughing too.</p>
<p>“You sound just like Sirius! He was always the same, sliding into our first class in the nick of time with a piece of toast hanging out of his mouth.”</p>
<p>“Ugh! Merlin! I’m not as bad as him! I wanted to wake him last week to see if he wanted to look over some mission notes with me. I guess you know how well that went.”</p>
<p>“Like some deep-sea creature rising from the depths. Or a mummy from its coffin.” Remus said, doing such an effective imitation that Tonks could not tell whether he was mimicking a mummy or Sirius. She doubled over with laughter.</p>
<p>She had almost forgotten, in all the surprise and awkwardness of the last few days, how much she genuinely enjoyed Remus’ company.</p>
<p>When their laughter began to subside, Remus spoke again. “So, duly noted, you are not an early morning person. I will do my very best not to wake you then. Any other habits or pet peeves you think I should know about?”</p>
<p>“No. I’m a pretty laid-back roommate. I’ve never really had any complaints. Oh, I can be a bit of a sleep-cuddler though. No matter how we get in bed, I always seem to end up clinging to whoever I’m sharing a bed with like a koala.” Tonks informed him.</p>
<p>“Oh. That’s all right, I should think.” He said, though an odd expression passed across his face.</p>
<p>Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Of course, there are worse sleep things you could do.”</p>
<p>“Like what?”</p>
<p>“You could be a sleep kicker, that would be much worse. Or you could snore. James Potter snored like a foghorn. Honestly, when I think back on it, I don’t know how I made it through seven years of sharing a room with him without smothering him.” Remus shared.</p>
<p>Tonks smiled. She realized what he was trying to do, trying to put her at ease. She loved when he and Sirius spoke about their friend James. The way the spoke of him was just shy of hero worship, though neither was against sharing about his flaws. Tonks always liked hearing them speak about him because it was clear how much they loved him, and how close-knit their friendship group was. Tonks never really had that close-knit group of friends, not the kind that lasted even decades after you had been separated, either by death or circumstances.</p>
<p>“What about you, any pet peeves or habits I should know about?” She asked, turning the question back on him.</p>
<p>“hmmm. No, not much bothers me. Sirius has accused me of doing that thing dogs do when their sleeping, where they think they are running? But I’m not sure he isn’t just messing with me.” Remus told her. Tonks found the image very amusing. “Of course, my condition is a significant note. I’ll be a pretty bad roommate for a few days there. I get jumpy and quick to anger in the day or two before the moon, and – er- tense. The day of I’m normally just a wreck, can’t focus on anything. The first few days after I don’t normally leave my bed much.” He warned her.</p>
<p>“I can handle that. When is the next full moon anyways? Sorry, I really should know but…” </p>
<p>He waved her apology away. “I don’t expect you to have the lunar cycle memorized. It’s not for another ten days. I have a cellar that can only be accessed from outside where I’ve always transformed when I’m here. Its fitted out with about every safety precaution you could think of, so you will be perfectly safe. I have to ask Sirius, but I think I will see if he can join me for this first moon at least, the wolf will be less aggressive if it has company.” Remus told her.</p>
<p>“I’m not worried about my safety.”</p>
<p>“You should be. I am very dangerous at the full moon. I want you to be careful. I couldn’t live with myself if something happened to you.” He told her seriously.</p>
<p>“You’re right, I’m sorry. I just mean that I trust you, and I trust that you will take all the necessary precautions. As will I.” She told him placatingly. </p>
<p>He nodded. “I’m sorry, I just worry.”</p>
<p>“I know. Is there anything I can do to help you with the transformation?” She asked him.</p>
<p>“No. Thank you, but I’m used to doing this alone. I’ll have everything in hand.” He told her.</p>
<p>The pair lapsed into silence as they finished up their sandwiches. When Tonks had cleared her plate, Remus rose from the table and took both dishes to the kitchen to wash up. </p>
<p>“Can I interest you in a walk down to the village?” Remus asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I’d love to”</p>
<p>Remus looked pleased. The pair put on their coats and shoes and headed out the door. Tonks could already tell that she would love living here. The lush trees around the house acted as a sound barrier from the outside world except for the rustling of leaves and occasional bird song.</p>
<p>As they reached the bottom of the lane and neared the village, Remus surprised her by taking her hand in his as they walked. Tonks found that walking through the charming little village hand in hand with Remus was not a bad way to spend the afternoon at all. They peeked into shops and Remus spoke to some of the locals that he knew, though it seemed he mostly kept to himself in town as he did not know everyone. He always introduced her as his fiancée, which made Tonks blush.</p>
<p>They returned to the house late that evening and cooked dinner together and spent the evening talking. Tonks found that it felt like a normal night hanging at Grimmauld, and not as strange as she had thought it might.</p>
<p>Remus regaled her with tales of the marauders’ antics from their school days, and Tonks shared some of her stories from Auror training. </p>
<p>Eventually, Tonks could not contain a yawn and Remus suggested it was time for bed. This put a bit of a dent in the easy, relaxed feel of the evening. </p>
<p>“You can have the washroom first.” He offered.</p>
<p>“Ta, I won’t be long.” </p>
<p>She grabbed her PJs from the bedroom and then shut herself in the bathroom to wash her face and brush her teeth. She used the toilet and changed into her pajamas. She hoped Remus wouldn’t mind her ratty weird sisters’ tee and short shorts, it hadn’t occurred to her to buy nicer pajamas now that someone was regularly going to be seeing them. She might have to go shopping on one of her lunch breaks this week.</p>
<p>When she was finished going through her nighttime routine, she left the bathroom so Remus could get his nighttime routine done and she went into the bedroom. She climbed in under the covers, noting that the sheets smelled like fresh linen laundry detergent. He must have done laundry at some point recently. Tonks usually washed her sheets with detergent that smelled of fruit or flowers, something loud and strong scented. It seemed very fitting to their personalities she mused. Gawd, her mind wandered to some strange places when she was nervous- comparing their laundry detergent to their personalities. She made sure to set her alarm for work the next day and then tried to settle in and get comfortable.</p>
<p>She was on the verge of sleep when Remus came into the bedroom. He did not get into bed right away, and Tonks turned to look at him to see what he was doing. He hovered in the doorway. </p>
<p>“Oh sorry, I’m on your side?” she asked.</p>
<p>“What? Oh, no, you’re fine.” He said. </p>
<p>He turned out the lights and moved around the bed to get in the other side. They lay there for a moment, facing each other. Tonks tried to tell herself that this was only weird if they made it weird. Tonks had shared a bed with friends loads of times. </p>
<p>“Goodnight, Remus.” </p>
<p>“Night, Dora”</p>
<p>Tonks smiled at the use of the nickname, it had taken ages to get him to stop calling her Nymphadora, and then he had stuck with calling her Tonks even though Sirius called her Dora. Tonks rolled over, facing the other direction from Remus and tried to settle in to sleep. She had work in the morning, she reminded herself. Remus seemed to be one of those annoying people who fell asleep as soon as their head hit the pillow, as it wasn’t long before she heard his breathing even out. </p>
<p>Tonks was startled awake by the sound of her alarm the next morning. She had slept surprisingly well. She stretched languidly. Turning to look, she found that Remus was not in bed, or in the room at all. She could hear sounds of movement out in the kitchen.  Tonks rose and went to the bathroom to go through her morning routine. She returned to the bedroom to get dressed for work before heading out to the kitchen to see what Remus was up to.</p>
<p>“That smells amazing” she commented as she entered the kitchen.</p>
<p>Remus was cooking breakfast. This man was SO marriage material, she thought. Remus had two plates set out with toast and sausages already laid out, and he appeared to be working on scrambled eggs. She could definitely get used to being Remus’ fake-wife if he served her breakfast every morning, and she told him as much.</p>
<p>He laughed. “Good to know. I thought you might like something to eat before work this morning. I’ve got a bit of time before I need to head out for Order duty.” He explained modestly. He seemed pleased at her praise.</p>
<p>“I would, thank you. I hardly ever remember to wake up early enough to make myself a proper breakfast.”</p>
<p>“Happy to be of service.”</p>
<p>The pair ate in companionable silence, and then Tonks did the washing up. She had just enough time to brush her teeth again. She gave Remus a quick hug goodbye and headed out to work, bolstered by the surprised but pleased look on Remus’ face when she hugged him.</p>
<p>The day passed without much to note, as did the rest of the work week of living with Remus. They fell into an easy routine of eating meals together and working on reports and paperwork in companionable silence or playing wizard’s chess. On Thursday they both went over to Grimmauld place for their usual drinking night with Sirius. It felt very routine, except Sirius took every opportunity to tease them about their ‘relationship’. Remus was a good bed partner, he didn’t snore or steal the covers, and he was always up before Tonks’ alarm went off.</p>
<p> The one thing that was bothering Tonks was that Dawlish had turned into an utter prat. He spent half his time giving her the cold shoulder, and the other half making thinly veiled insults about Remus and her relationship with him.  The new-found animosity from Dawlish was disheartening, and Tonks missed the days when their unit operated as a chummy group. She hadn’t expected the hostility from Dawlish to bother her so much, but she found that it did. She didn’t dare talk to Remus about it though, as she knew he would just blame himself. She wanted to find a time to talk to Sirius alone. Despite the constant teasing from him, Tonks knew he was a good listener and that he might be able to provide some advice.</p>
<p>Tonks was drawn from her thoughts by professor Dumbledore clearing his throat to get everyone’s attention. It was Friday and they were gathered in the Grimmauld kitchen for another meeting of the Order. Tonks and Remus were sitting with Sirius as usual. Not so usual was Tonks leaning against Remus’ shoulder. </p>
<p>“Welcome everyone. Thank you for coming tonight.” Dumbledore greeted them all. “To start us off, Arthur could you and Remus tell us what you’ve gathered from your observations of Dolohov, Crabbe, and Jenkins?” Dumbledore asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, I can do that.” Arthur spoke up. “We saw the most activity from Jenkins this week. Crabbe seems to be reluctant to be fully involved, he tries not to get his hands dirty. Dolohov is paranoid- he covers his tracks well. We may need to end the tail on him, at least for a little while, as we are concerned that he is growing suspicious. Jenkins does not seem so worried about his participation. He has been making several stops to the safe houses we noted previously and seems to be in the process of organizing some kind of meeting or action. We have intel that he may be meeting with some new associates this evening.” </p>
<p>“Interesting. I trust your judgement in regard to Dolohov. When is this meeting tonight?” Dumbledore responded.</p>
<p>“it’s at nine this evening, at the Grey Gull.”</p>
<p>“I’m not familiar with the location. Do you think it is feasible for us to be inside for this meeting?”</p>
<p>“I do, but it will need to be discreet. We’ll need a good cover.”</p>
<p>“Well, by the sounds of it, the Grey Gull is a bar, is it not?”</p>
<p>“Yes, headmaster, I believe it is”</p>
<p>“In that case, it is a Friday night. No one would see anything amiss about a young couple in a bar on a Friday night.” Dumbledore said, turning his eye to Remus and Tonks. “What do you say, Remus? Nymphadora? Care to see if you can gather any intel from this meet tonight?”</p>
<p>“Of course, headmaster. We would be happy to.” Remus said, as Tonks nodded to show her assent as well.</p>
<p>“Very well. If you are both agreeable to it, I shall await your report.” Dumbledore said. “The next order of business is to hear from Hestia and Sturgis. What did you gather during your reconnaissance of Knockturn Alley?”</p>
<p>“Just as we thought, sir, Lucius Malfoy is not the only one trying to offload dark materials. The rumour of a Ministry raid was an effective tactic. We saw Mulciber, Torrence, and some new faces in the Alley trying to store goods for until after the raid. Most of it was pretty standard stuff, dark spell books, illicit potions substances, but we did see several forms of concealment devices which we think is worthy of note. The Death Eaters appear to be working on something, and for some reason they need to conceal themselves to do it.” Sturgis reported.</p>
<p>“We think it has something to do with the Ministry. None of the high-level Ministry employees had concealment devices, only those of low-level positions or those not working in the ministry did. This is just conjecture at this point, but we think it is worthy of note when paired with some of the mutterings going around.” Hestia added.</p>
<p>“Yes, all roads do seem to be leading back to the Ministry. Thank you both. Is there anything else that needs to be discussed tonight?” When no one spoke up, Dumbledore spoke again, “Then I will bid you all a good night. Good luck, Remus, Nymphadora with the operation tonight.”</p>
<p>The Order members began to rise from their chairs. Some left straight away, and some mingled about. </p>
<p>“I suppose we better head home and get ready. I can’t say I’ve been to a bar lately.” Remus said.</p>
<p>“I’m sure we’ll find something for you to wear.” Tonks teased. </p>
<p>They arrived at the Grey Gull together at 8:30 to make sure they were there first. They grabbed two seats at the bar from which they would have a vantage point of the whole place. The Grey Gull was a lower-end establishment, with floors that quite possibly had never been washed and scratched up wooden tables and chairs, but it had a surprisingly nice atmosphere considering. It was not the sort of establishment Tonks would have imagined for a clandestine Death Eater meeting. Which, for those who knew how to operate in secrecy, was exactly where you would want to hold such a clandestine meeting. </p>
<p>Tonks ordered them a round of onion rings while they waited, mostly to appease the bartender who seemed determined to hover near them until they ordered. </p>
<p>“How did your parents meet?” Tonks asked Remus, for lack of other conversation.</p>
<p>“My mother was walking through a wooded park one day, on her way home from work, when this huge man jumped out of the woods and was going to attack her. My dad jumped in and saved her, walked her the rest of the way home to see that she was safe. They started seeing each other everywhere after that, like it was meant to be.” </p>
<p>“Wow. Your dad was very brave!”</p>
<p>“Not really.” Tonks wondered if there was some negativity in Remus’ relationship with his father, but she knew it would be impolite to ask. “It took him ages to tell her, but when he finally told her that he was a wizard, he also told here that there had never really been a man in the woods and that it was just a boggart. They were never really in any danger.” He explained.</p>
<p>“Huh, cheeky. He took the credit for saving her from that big bad man and it was just a boggart?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, all the fear but none of the danger. My dad worked for the ministry on boggarts and spectres and the like, so I guess it was lucky that a wizard who just happened to specialize in dealing with boggarts happened to be walking by the day she was attacked by a boggart” Remus mused. </p>
<p>“what about your parents? How did they meet?” He asked.</p>
<p>“Oh, they were at school together, Hogwarts sweethearts.”</p>
<p>“That’s romantic”</p>
<p>“Yeah- I hope our marriage is as happy as our parents’, and that it lasts a lifetime as well” She said, noticing that Jenkins had just arrived, accompanied by Torrence and a woman she didn’t know.</p>
<p>Remus looked a little confused until he followed her eyeline and saw their targets as well. Unfortunately, the trio sat in a booth behind Remus’ back where he wouldn’t be able to see them. Tonks could still see them if she turned her head to the left just slightly. They weren’t sitting too far away from the booth.</p>
<p>“Can you hear?” she asked quietly. </p>
<p>Remus nodded. </p>
<p>“Good, I can see.”</p>
<p>Tonks caught the bartender’s attention and ordered two pints. If they had drinks it would be less obvious that they weren’t speaking to each other for large stretches of time while Remus listened. The pair would have to share what they learned after the observation was over. </p>
<p>Jenkins was a tall, muscular man, over six feet, with buzzed brown hair and a slightly olive toned complexion. Torrence was short and thin, a bookish looking man who seemed very out of place amongst Voldemort’s supporters. The woman was tall and willowy, with pin-straight black hair and a pale complexion. Tonks couldn’t identify her, which was unfortunate as she seemed to be the leading party in the conversation that was happening. She appeared to be leading the discussion, with Jenkins responding. Torrence looked incredibly uncomfortable, but Tonks couldn’t tell whose words were making him uncomfortable, Jenkins’ or the woman’s. Torrence’s eyes were darting about, surveying the room. Tonks looked away and took a big sip of the pint that had been placed in front of her, looking back – directly into Torrence’s eyes. The man’s eyes narrowed as Tonks hurried to break eye contact.</p>
<p>“Shit. Play along, okay?” She said hurriedly to Remus.</p>
<p>Without giving him a chance to respond, she curled her arms around Remus’ neck, leaned in, and kissed him soundly.  He went very still for a moment, before he caught on and began kissing her back. After a few moments he put his hands on her hips, but so gently she hardly knew they were there, as though he thought that would be stepping over the line, as if she wasn’t kissing him with no warning. Tonks kissed him for another few moments, trying to pretend she didn’t notice how soft his lips were or that he was quite a good kisser, before she pulled away. She turned her head into his neck so she could peek over his shoulder, seeing that Torrence had turned back to his companions and didn’t look concerned.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, we haven’t been made.” Remus whispered in her ear. The feeling of his warm breath on her neck made her shiver. </p>
<p>“Good. I accidently made eye contact with Torrence. He looked at us right as I looked back at him.”</p>
<p>“It’s alright, but we need to be careful, they are clearly on guard.”</p>
<p>Tonks pulled back slightly, though she kept one hand gently on the back of Remus’ neck, playing with the soft hair at the nape of his neck, in case she needed to lean in again. Remus took a large gulp of his pint, looking a little shell-shocked. Tonks would be flattered, if she wasn’t so worried that she might have just made things very awkward between them. She hoped Remus didn’t mind that that was the first thing that sprang to mind when she needed to do something non-suspicious.</p>
<p>Tonks continued watching the trio as discreetly as possible. When their targets eventually moved to get up, Tonks kissed Remus again. Thankfully, he was expecting it a little more this time. </p>
<p>“Torrence is going to look over here again as they leave, I just know it.” She whispered in between kisses.</p>
<p>Tonks waited until she was sure their targets had left before she pulled back this time. She drained the last of her point and put some coins down on the bar, silencing Remus with a look when he opened his mouth to argue.</p>
<p>“Come on, let’s go home.”</p>
<p>“Whatever you say, dear” Remus replied, which made her laugh.</p>
<p>They returned to the cottage together and sat down in the sitting room to go over the information they each had been able to gather.</p>
<p>Tonks spoke first, “So Jenkins was meeting with Torrence and a woman I don’t know. The woman seems to the higher up of the three, and she seemed to be disagreeing with Jenkins, or angry with him for some reason. I’m not sure Torrence’s role, but he spoke very little and seemed to be nervous most of the time. His membership seems tenuous, I’m not sure how committed he is.”</p>
<p>“Hmm. That fits with what I heard. I don’t know the woman either, so we’ll need to ask the Order. She was definitely giving the orders in that conversation. They didn’t use specifics, but she is getting updates for those on high, the Dark Lord wants, something, they never said what, soon. Jenkins is telling her it can’t be done sooner. They can’t get in. They didn’t say where. From what I gathered though; the Death Eaters are trying to gain access to a highly secure room where a very important object is kept. No idea where, what the object is, or why they want it though.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know either. It’s concerning that they are already several steps ahead of us. We need to find out what it is and where it is if we are going to have any chance of stopping them from getting to it.”</p>
<p>“We better right out this report then and get it to Dumbledore” Remus said, rising to find a roll of parchment and a quill and ink pot. </p>
<p>Tonks got up to join him at the table where they worked together to fill out the report. </p>
<p>“Listen, I wanted to apologise, you know, for kissing you out of the blue like that-“Tonks began, but Remus stopped her.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it, it was a good distraction. We were sent there to be undercover as a couple on a date, and that was fitting for the cover. It worked, no one wants to stare too long at a couple having a snog” Remus said, though he blushed a little when he said it.</p>
<p>“Good. I didn’t have time to warn you of my plan, and I didn’t want to make things weird between us”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry Dora, you’re a fine agent and I trust your judgement.”</p>
<p>Tonks beamed at the praise.</p>
<p>When they finished the report,  Remus got some floo powder and knelt by the fire and put his head into the fire for a few minutes, passing the note along to Dumbledore on the other side before pulling his head from the fire and stepping back. </p>
<p>“Alright, then. Not much more we can do about this tonight.” Remus mused. </p>
<p>“Fancy a game of chess?” Tonks asked, checking her watch and seeing it was now just before eleven pm. </p>
<p>“No, sorry. I’m going to turn in for the night.” He said, stretching. “The moon tends to start making me tired around now” he added by way of explanation when she opened her mouth to object.</p>
<p>“Oh, right, of course. The moon is on Monday isn’t it?” She said, more of a rhetorical question because she already knew that it was.</p>
<p>“Yes. So, I’m going to go to bed, but you obviously can stay up as late as you like. Don’t feel like you have to come to bed just because I’m going.” Remus told her.</p>
<p>“Okay, I’m just going to read for a bit and then I’ll turn in as well.” Tonks told him. “Goodnight, Remus.”</p>
<p>“Goodnight Dora”</p>
<p>Tonks retrieved her book from the end table where she had left it and sat down to read. Living with Remus had reminded her of how much she loved to read. She never normally made time for it with all of her Ministry and Order work, but now that she and Remus sat together in the evenings and read, she made time for it. Tonks finished up her chapter before she decided to head to bed as well.</p>
<p>She went through her nighttime routine and then went into the bedroom and slid into the bed beside Remus. She was more used to sleeping beside another person now, and it was no longer so strange to her to hear Remus’ even breathing beside her. She even found it kind of peaceful.</p>
<p>______<br/>
______</p>
<p>The dreaded time had arrived. It was late afternoon on Monday, the day of the full moon. The sun would be setting in an hour. </p>
<p>The weekend had passed too quickly, and now Tonks found herself sitting in tense silence while she waited for Sirius to floo in. Remus was pacing about, unable to sit still. </p>
<p>“Is there anything I can do?” Tonks asked when Remus paced back into the sitting room. </p>
<p>“No. Sorry. Just a little antsy before it starts.” Remus said, clenching and unclenching his fists and stretching. </p>
<p>Tonks felt useless. She wished she could help. The night hadn’t even started yet and she was a tense mess. She wondered how she would do this every month. She wondered how Remus did this every month. She couldn’t believe that he had been doing this every month since he was a small child. Tonks wondered what his parents did when he was small, but she wasn’t sure if that what be an insensitive question to ask. </p>
<p>The fire roared to life just then, and Sirius stepped through. He brushed soot off of his clothes which made Tonks roll her eyes. She’d have to sweep, then. Sirius gave her a cheeky grin, no doubt aware of her derision.</p>
<p>“Hello, you two love birds. Lovely evening for a walk in the moonlight?” Sirius greeted them. He crossed the room and gave Remus a brief hug, the strange back-slapping hug men gave each other as though they needed to make it as quick as possible lest someone misinterpret it for anything more than brotherly.</p>
<p>“hmph” was the only response from Remus.</p>
<p>“How are you doing mate?” Sirius asked in a softer tone.</p>
<p>“Fine. You know how it is. My skin’s really crawling tonight.” </p>
<p>“Well, I’m here. Hopefully I can distract him.” Sirius reassured Remus, referring to the wolf. </p>
<p>“I’m glad you’re here, old friend. I think I want to go to the cellar now.” Remus said, his eye on the view out the window where the sky was beginning to be tinged orange.</p>
<p>The pair headed towards the front door to go out to the cellar that could only be accessed via a hatch outside. </p>
<p>“Wait” Tonks said, crossing the room to wrap her arms around Remus in a quick but tight hug. “I’ll see you at sunrise.”</p>
<p>“See you at sunrise, Dora.” Remus replied.</p>
<p>“I’ll be back in in a little bit, once the wolf has settled.” Sirius told her, looking at her thoughtfully.</p>
<p>Tonks watched them go before heading to the kitchen to make a cup of tea. She needed a hot drink to try to calm her nerves. Really, a fire whiskey or something stronger wouldn’t be amiss right about now.  She tried to settle into a book but couldn’t focus on the words, she moved on to filling out paperwork but when she read it over, she had to cross out almost half the page with corrections. She abandoned the notes and returned to the book. All the while, she snuck glances out the window as the sky darkened and the moon rose. Remus had assured her that Sirius would cast a silencing charm so she wouldn’t hear the wolf, but she found the silence to be almost as disconcerting.</p>
<p>She must have dozed off, because she woke with a start when someone opened the front door. </p>
<p>“Relax, cousin, it’s only me” Sirius said reassuringly.</p>
<p>Tonks sat up as Sirius came to sit on the other end of the couch, illuminated by the moonlight from the window behind him. </p>
<p>“Hey. Sorry I must have dozed off. How is he?”</p>
<p>“The usual. He wanted to fight me a bit at the start, but I gave him the run around, and he settled. I suppose the wolf hasn’t seen me in a while. We don’t always get to spend the moon together these days, and of course, we went twelve years apart. He’s sleeping now, so I thought I’d come in for a bit. He’ll probably be out for a good few hours.”</p>
<p>“I feel so useless. I wish there was more I could do.” Tonks confessed.</p>
<p>“There’s not much to be done, unfortunately, and you know our Remus, hates to accept any help. He could use you after though, he’ll tell you he can do it all himself but it’s a lie. He’ll need some help with the healing salves, and someone to make sure he stays in bed and doesn’t try to do too much too soon.”</p>
<p>“Listen to you, mother hen” Tonks teased, though she was glad to have the advice.</p>
<p>“Yeah, yeah. How was your experience with his PMS?”</p>
<p>“PMS?”</p>
<p>“Pre-Moon Syndrome. Me and James came up with it, to describe how he gets before the full moon. He warned you how grumpy he gets didn’t he?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, he said he gets annoyed more easily, and that he’s usually tense.” Tonks told him. This appeared to amuse Sirius greatly. </p>
<p>“’Tense’, eh? Is that what the kids are calling it these days?” Sirius said with a grin. There was clearly something here that Tonks did not know about.</p>
<p>“Yeah, tense he said. What’s wrong with tense?” Tonks asked, feeling defensive for Remus’ sake. </p>
<p>“Well, when the proper professor says ‘tense’, that’s his polite, old-fashioned way of saying ‘horny’.” Sirius informed her, using dramatic air quotes to emphasize his point. He appeared to find this all very amusing.</p>
<p>“Ugh. Come on, Sirius, don’t be gross.” Tonks reproached him.</p>
<p>“Just telling it like it is, cousin. Course he’d never admit it to you, it’s not proper and all. He’s told me though, something about the increase in hormones and the desire to climb out of his skin makes him really desperate for a shag.”</p>
<p>“Leave him alone Sirius. He wouldn’t want you tell me this.”</p>
<p>“No, but I think you might need to hear it. Living in close quarters all the time and pretending to be a couple can mess with your head a bit.” Sirius warned.</p>
<p>“Trying to protect me from your best mate?”</p>
<p>“No, actually, its him I’m worried about.”</p>
<p>“What, why?” she asked indignantly.</p>
<p>“At ease, Dora. I just mean, your living together, you’re playing the happy couple, and well, you’re young and- er, virile?-“</p>
<p>“woah, woah, where the hell are you going with this?”</p>
<p>“I’m trying to say that you need to be careful that neither of you forgets what this is. It’s fake, a sham, just pretend. Remus- he hasn’t had a lot of luck in love. He hasn’t had many relationships, and the one’s that he has had haven’t lasted long or haven’t ended on particularly good terms. I’m not about to break any confidences here, but Remus just isn’t that experienced with women. And he’s been hurt before. I just want you to make sure that you aren’t leading him on. I don’t want you two to do something you can’t take back. I’d hate to have to pick between my favourite cousin and my best friend, but I have to warn you that I’ll pick him. Every time. He’s the last of my friends, we’ve been friends for more than two decades now, if you count the lost years. Just, don’t do anything that will make this hard when it’s over and you go back to your regular life.”</p>
<p>“I’m not planning on hurting him. Or sleeping with him. I don’t think either one of us is losing sight of the plot here. I’m just helping out a friend, Remus knows that.” Tonks assured him, defensively.</p>
<p>“alright. I’ve said my piece. I’ll leave the topic alone. I better be getting back in there anyways. He’s like a baby, you never know how long the nap will keep. You’ll be alright, won’t you?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, of course. It’s him that needs you.” She told him, though a small, childish part of her wanted him to stay and keep her company. She had a lot to think on now. “Can I come by yours later this week? To chat?” She asked.</p>
<p>She knew they were just pretending, that hadn’t changed. She wondered what had prompted Sirius’s concern. Was it her? Or was it Remus? Did Sirius see something between them that she didn’t? What was she doing that could be misconstrued? Did Remus see this as something more than pretending? Did Remus like her? She hadn’t seen any indication of that. Remus was acting the same around her as always. Sirius was just being proactive, she decided. He must be giving her the warning in advance. It wasn’t that he thought they were losing the plot, or that she or Remus like the other as more than friends, Sirius was just worried that that might be an eventuality. Despite her self-assurances, the thoughts stayed with her until she fell asleep. </p>
<p>She woke up shortly after dawn, the first rays of light just beginning to creep in the windows. Immediately, Tonks jumped up and hurried to brush her teeth and tidy her hair, Remus didn’t deserve her dragon breath and messy hair after he had gone through such an ordeal, and then she gathered up the medical supplies she would need to look after Remus. She brought the basket into the bedroom and set it on the dresser just as she heard the front door open and Remus and Sirius speaking in quiet voices.</p>
<p>The pair came down the hall and into the bedroom. Remus looked exhausted. Despite having been living together for over a week now, Tonks had never actually seen Remus without his shirt on. He always slept in sleep pants and a t-shirt. This morning though, he only wore the sleep pants and Tonks got a full view of the network of scars across his arms and torso. Most of the scars appeared to be quite old, but she could see a set of four long scratches along his left hip that were clearly fresh, and puncture marks in his right forearm that were clearly from a bite. Bruising was already beginning to appear along his back, she noticed as he walked past her to take a seat on the bed. </p>
<p>“Good morning Remus, Sirius.” She greeted them.</p>
<p>“Morning Dora” they both replied. </p>
<p>“I’m going to go put on some coffee, I think. I’m sure Tonks has got the essence of dittany covered.” Sirius said cheerfully, before sauntering out of the room despite Remus’s stuttering attempts at disagreement.</p>
<p>“Okay then. Shall I get started?” Tonks said, briskly. </p>
<p>“You don’t have to you know; I can do this myself.” Remus said, a flush staining his cheeks. Exactly as Sirius had predicted.</p>
<p>“Posh, of course I’ll help. Dittany first, right?” Tonks said, grabbing the vial from her stash of medical supplies and moving to sit next to him on the bed. </p>
<p>“Yes, then I normally do the muscle salve.” Remus responded, eyeing her warily.</p>
<p>Deciding that Remus was nervous enough for the both of them, Tonks decided this was a moment for her brash personality. If she wasn’t awkward about this, then he shouldn’t be either. She uncapped the vial and grabbed a washcloth. Very carefully she applied the liquid essence of dittany to the bite marks on his arm, using the washcloth to soak up any excess. Next she used the dittany on the scratches at his hip. The scars extended past the waistband of his sleep pants, but she was just about to pull the fabric down a bit to get the rest of the marks when Remus stopped her with a hand to her wrist.</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about that, I’ll get the ones that are out of reach. I promise, the ones on my legs are easy for me to do.” He assured her.</p>
<p>Tonks chose not to argue with him, mostly because of how acutely uncomfortable he looked. She used the washcloth, now damp with essence of dittany, to get some of the smaller cuts and scrapes on his elbows and the backs of his arms. Next, she replaced her vial of dittany for a jar of muscle relieving salve. This was a thick paste that smelled strongly of patchouli. </p>
<p>“Where do you want this?” She asked. All aurors had basic first aid training, so treating cuts and scrapes were no hardship for her, but muscle salves were not part of that training. </p>
<p>“I- uh- You don’t- “</p>
<p>“Please don’t tell me I don’t have to do this, Remus. We’ve been over this- I want to help.”</p>
<p>“O-Okay. Um, my back and shoulders mostly.” Remus said, though he still looked hesitant.</p>
<p>Tonks thought for a moment about what the best way to accomplish this would be. She decided to scoot back on the bed and move to sit behind Remus, her legs out on either side of his. She dipped her fingers into the salve, which had a pleasantly cooling sensation, and began to spread it along Remus’ back. He jerked slightly at first, his whole body impossibly tense, but as she rubbed the salve in, massaging the muscles in his back slightly, he began to relax. Tonks worked the salve into the muscles of his upper back and shoulders, noting how smooth his skin was except for where her hands encountered scars. His back was littered with them, thin ones, large, raised ones, all over. Worst of all was a twisted mess of scar tissue on his right shoulder, close to the juncture of his neck. </p>
<p>“Is this the bite?” Tonks asked as her hands neared the scar.</p>
<p>Remus tensed under her hands. “Yes.” He said shortly.</p>
<p>Sensing his obvious discomfort, Tonks said no more about it. She continued massaging the salve into his back, working her way down his spine and working it into his lower back. She could feel that his muscles were a mess of knots and tender places and she tried to use the time while she worked the salve into his skin to also try to work out some of those knotted muscles. Remus seemed to enjoy this greatly, though she was certain he would never admit it. The tension began to ease out of his posture, his head falling forward to his chest slightly and quiet sighs of relief or enjoyment falling from his lips, almost too quiet for her to hear. Tonks wondered when the last time someone had cared enough to do this for him. Sirius was a truly amazing friend, but Tonks could not imagine him giving a massage, at least not without ruining the tranquility and relaxation of the moment with jokes and teasing.</p>
<p>“Okay, I think I’m done.” Tonks said gently, not wanting to ruin the peaceful atmosphere that enveloped them. </p>
<p>Remus hummed appreciatively, remaining in the same position for a few moments before her words seemed to sink in. He straightened and stood. Hesitantly stretching out the muscles of his back. “Thank you, Dora, that feels amazing.” He said, looking so awe struck for a moment that Tonks wanted to commit to doing this for him for every full moon for the rest of his life. He was so sweet and kind, he deserved someone to look after him. Maybe Tonks would set him up with someone after their fake marriage was over, she mused.</p>
<p>“No worries, Remus. Always happy to help a friend.” She said. “Especially my fake-fiancé” She joked. </p>
<p>A strange look flitted across Remus face before he smiled back at her. “I’m very grateful.”</p>
<p>Sirius came whistling down the hallway then, carrying a tray of toast and three cups of coffee. “Here we are, chickees. Something to eat, and coffee.”</p>
<p>“Ta” Tonks said, taking a cup of coffee from the tray. Sirius set the tray down on the nightstand and took his cup of coffee from the tray.</p>
<p>“Well, little cousin, let’s let Remus finish up his first aid. You’ll be taking a nap after that, I presume?” Sirius said, first addressing Tonks and then Remus.</p>
<p>Remus nodded. “Yes, I’m quite tired. Thank you, old friend, for your help last night, and this truly excellent toast.”</p>
<p>“Until the very end” Sirius promised with a grin. “I need to head back to Grimmauld anyways, I’m supposed to be helping Daedalus find some book in one of the studies upstairs.” Sirius said, with about as much excitement as a class of Hogwarts students preparing to learn about Flobberworms. Sirius made his exit then, heading back down the hallway.</p>
<p>“Sleep well, Remus, I’ll just be out in the sitting room if you need me.” Tonks told him before she followed Sirius out. </p>
<p>She plopped herself down on the couch with her cup of coffee while Sirius drank the rest of his cup in what seemed like one large gulp.</p>
<p>“Ah, I love coffee.” He mused, mostly to himself. “You going to be alright Dora?”</p>
<p>Yeah, course.” She told him.</p>
<p>“Pop by whenever you like for that chat, yeah? I’m always around you know.”</p>
<p>“Thanks Sirius.” Tonks said, giving him a little wave as he tossed floo powder into the fire and stepped through.</p>
<p>Tonks sipped at her coffee and prepared to settle in for the day, ready to jump up should Remus need her.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Not everyone is happy for the happy couple</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonks wished she didn’t have to go to work today, but duty calls. She had left a pain potion on the nightstand for Remus and some food in the oven. She knew Remus must not be feeling well because he had slept most of the previous day, and now, at 8:15, he was still asleep.  She knew she was lucky she had the day before off to be with him, but she still wished she could be home looking after him until he was back on his feet. </p>
<p>She was needed at work though, and so she slid her feet into her boots and stepped through the floo into the Ministry atrium. She made her way up to the auror offices and took a seat at her desk. She sorted her things out, and then turned to a stack of memos in her inbox. The first two were Ministry wide notices about completing paperwork on time and not loitering in the corridors, memos that regularly went around. The next three were addressed directly to Tonks, however. This was not so unusual in of itself, she occasionally got personalized notes. The surprising, and upsetting thing, however, was that none of these notes were signed, and each one was more upsetting in content than the one before. </p>
<p>The first one was worded as though the person was worried about her. It warned her about every vile, prejudicial stereotype one might hear about werewolves. The note warned her that werewolves were violent, sex-crazed monsters and that ‘this evil old man’ only wanted to steal her youth and purity before devouring her.</p>
<p>The next note cursed her for being a werewolf’s mate. It called her horrible, disgusting names. It referred to Remus by horrible disgusting names.</p>
<p>The third was just a series of crude and violent drawings of what Remus would do to her, what the artist would like to do to her.</p>
<p>Tonks crumpled the notes up and threw them into the trash with more force than was strictly necessary. People were vile. She was so angry, what did it matter to any of these cowards that Remus was a werewolf? They clearly didn’t know her at all.  She felt tears burning at her eyes and blinked them away. There was no way she was going to let some stupid notes from cowards who couldn’t even sign them ruin her day.</p>
<p>It was hard to forget the horrible things the notes had said though, and she found the words replayed in her head over and over throughout the day. Tonks couldn’t stop wondering who had sent the notes. It could be anyone in the building really, gossip travels fast. She couldn’t decide whether the notes hurt more coming from people who didn’t even know her or if they were from people she did know. She couldn’t picture anyone in the building she knew writing notes like these, but bigotry like this was often an ugly, twisted thing that people hid in their hearts. </p>
<p>Tonks was at the end of her rope by four o’clock that afternoon. She wrote out a note for Remus to let him know she was going to stop at Grimmauld for a chat before she came home: “Hi love, going to visit our favourite mutt at the doghouse before I come home. Hope you’re feeling better XOXO your future wife”. She snorted at the over-the-top cheese in the note but decided to leave it like that, hopefully it would make Remus smile. Hopefully his day was going better than hers.</p>
<p>“Nymphadora!” </p>
<p>Tonks jumped to attention at the sound of her boss, Rufus Scrimgeour’s voice.</p>
<p>“Yes, Sir.” She responded.</p>
<p>“Come with me.” He beckoned.</p>
<p>She rose and followed him out of the cubicle area and down the hall and to his private office. This was probably not good, she thought. This was only confirmed when they entered the office and Tonks saw that Walden McNair, head of the Beast Division of the department for the regulation and control of magical creatures, was already seated in the office.</p>
<p>“Now, Nymphadora, I trust you know Mr. McNair?” Scrimgeour asked by way of introduction.</p>
<p>“Yes, sir. Good afternoon, Mr. McNair” Tonks said, greeting the other man. McNair did not return the greeting, only inclined his head to indicate he had heard her.</p>
<p>“Excellent, let us be seated.” Scrimgeour said, and they took their seats. “Now, it is not my practice to interfere in the personal affairs of my agents. However, Mr. McNair approached me today because he is quite concerned by a recent bit of information concerning some of your recent- life-choices.” Scrimgeour explained stiffly. Tonks wondered whether he had been bullied into this meeting.</p>
<p>“Yes, it has come to our attention that you are in a relationship with the known werewolf Remus Lupin.” McNair said, spitting out Remus’ name with distaste. “We hear, that you are planning on marrying the werewolf.”</p>
<p>“That is correct. Remus and I are engaged. We are to be married in a month’s time.” Tonks replied coldly. “I didn’t realise my relationship status was of such interest to the Beast Division.” </p>
<p>“Not your relationship status so much as your chosen partner.” McNair replied, not mincing words. “I am of the opinion that a werewolf is a highly unsuitable partner, especially for a Ministry of Magic employee.”</p>
<p>“You are entitled to your opinion.”</p>
<p>“Miss Tonks, it would behoove you not to be disrespectful.” Scrimgeour cut in.</p>
<p>“It is not my intention to be rude. I only mean to speak plainly. Mr. McNair can dislike my fiancé all he likes, but there is no law preventing me from marrying the man I love, no matter his condition.” Tonks replied.</p>
<p>“This is true, McNair.” Scrimgeour acknowledged.</p>
<p>McNair looked as though he had sucked on a lemon. “Very well, if we are speaking plainly. I must entreat you to reconsider, werewolves are more beast than man. He is not a suitable partner – he is dangerous, in-human, and besides that, more than a decade your senior. I can only wonder what possible qualities you see in him. It almost makes one question your judgement.”</p>
<p>“What qualities do I see in him? He is the most kind, caring, selfless man I have ever met. He makes a point to be there for me. He makes me laugh. He-“Her voice rose as she spoke, she could feel herself practically vibrating with anger. </p>
<p>Scrimgeour interrupted her by clearing his throat. “That’s enough. We take your point. If that is all you wish to say, McNair, then Nymphadora has work she should be doing.”</p>
<p>“Yes, that is all. For now.” McNair said, rising to leave the room. He stopped in the doorway though and turned to look at Tonks with an intense expression. “Interesting, though, isn’t it, that no one even knew that you two knew each other and all of a sudden you’re getting married. Seems rather…opportune?” McNair told her pointedly before he was gone.</p>
<p>A chill slipped down her spine. So, their plan had not gone unnoticed. McNair had not directly said so, but that was clearly his point. He also made that quip about her judgement. The ministry was not going to allow this to happen without some measure of retribution. Tonks could only hope that she could hold onto her job.</p>
<p>“Can I go now, sir?” Tonks asked Scrimgeour stiffly.</p>
<p>“Dismissed.” </p>
<p>Tonks made her way quickly down the hallway and all but threw herself back in her seat. This was not good. The Beast Division was suspicious of their plan, they needed to be very careful. </p>
<p>It was a relief to be able to gather her things and leave the building that evening. She apparated to the front stoop of Grimmauld Place and let herself in. She hung up her coat and kicked off her shoes. She wandered down the hallway, listening for sounds that might indicate where in the house Sirius was. </p>
<p>“Sirius?” she called, softly enough that she wouldn’t wake Mrs. Black’s portrait.</p>
<p>“Up here!” he called, his head peaking over the bannister above her.</p>
<p>Tonks walked up and followed him into the study, which seemed to be in a state of rearrangement, as books were piled up on the floor and the furniture was bunched in the centre of the room.</p>
<p>“I’ve been getting some serious cleaning done,” Sirius explained, “started with cleaning and polishing the furniture, now I’m working on the bookcases.”</p>
<p>“It looks good.” Tonks said, looking around and admiring his handiwork. “Has Molly been by then? She keeps saying this place needs a cleaning”</p>
<p>“No, actually, though she does seem to comment on the state of things every time she’s here. I decided on this myself, I need to keep busy somehow.” Sirius told her, with a note of bitterness to his voice. Tonks wasn’t sure if that was because of Molly’s comments about the state of the house, or his feelings of uselessness. </p>
<p>“Shall I get us a cup of tea?” Sirius asked her.</p>
<p>“Make it a fire whiskey, please. I’ve had a rough day.” Tonks requested.</p>
<p>“Your wish is my command, let’s head down to the kitchen then and you can tell me all about it.”</p>
<p>Tonks took a seat at the kitchen table while Sirius grabbed two glasses and a bottle of fire whiskey. She waited until he had poured them each a glass and she had taken a fortifying gulp before she began.</p>
<p>“I got some nasty notes this morning, about my relationship with Remus. I knew I should prepare for it, and that I can’t let it get to me, but I’ll admit it hurt, and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them. Then, to top it all off, I got pulled in for a chat with Scrimgeour and Walden McNair.”</p>
<p>“Head of the Beast Division, Walden McNair?” Sirius questioned sharply.</p>
<p>“Yeah, that’s the one.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry about the notes. Expecting them and actually experiencing that are two very different things. You don’t deserve that, and neither does Remus.” Sirius told her. “Do you want to talk about what they said?”</p>
<p>“No. It’s too horrible to repeat. I bet you can imagine though, none of it was particularly original.”</p>
<p>“Small-minded people don’t have much room in their heads for originality” he said dryly.</p>
<p>Tonks sipped at her drink for a moment before she continued. “I guess it particularly bothers me because that’s what Remus is used to. He gets that all the time, everywhere he goes. I don’t know how he can face that constant oppression and bigotry and still be such a good person.” </p>
<p>“I know, believe me, the man has the patience of a saint. I used to try to get him angry about it, but eventually I realised that controlling his reaction is exactly how he copes. He has to work so hard all the time to be in complete control, he never lets himself be too emotional, because he wants to be seen as measured, calm, peaceful. He has to go above and beyond to make sure people perceive him as human. It makes me so angry sometimes-“ Sirius broke off, shrugging his shoulders in a way that seemed to depict the gravity and hopelessness of the situation.</p>
<p>Tonks could do nothing but nod, there was not much that could be said.</p>
<p>“What about the meeting with McNair? What happened there?” Sirius asked.</p>
<p>Tonks filled him in on everything McNair had said.</p>
<p>“Damn. Is the Ministry only blind when it comes to Death Eater plots then? Ours are clear as day? We’ll need to be careful, make sure that you plan the wedding soon, in case they try something to prevent it.”</p>
<p>“I’ll talk to Remus about it, we’ll start planning soon.” Tonks agreed. She hadn’t spent much time thinking about the wedding yet. “Listen, don’t tell Remus about any of this okay? Or at least, not about the notes. I don’t want him trying to back out of this.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry, I can keep a secret.” Sirius promised her. “How did your mum take the wedding news, by the way? You have told her, haven’t you?”</p>
<p>“Of course,”</p>
<p>“and?”</p>
<p>“She didn’t take it well.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sorry love”</p>
<p>“Nothing you can do about it.”</p>
<p>“I can tell her what a bloody hypocrite she’s being, given everything she went through to be with your father” He replied hotly.</p>
<p>“She’s just surprised, and you know us Blacks, we’re stubborn as well. I think she’ll come ‘round, in time. I just hope it doesn’t take her too long to make her peace with it. I know she only wants the best for me, and that this is pretend, but I really wanted mum to be with me while I planned my wedding” Tonks confessed, surprised to find herself close to tears.</p>
<p>Sirius scooted around until he could pull her against him in a hug, rocking her slightly side to side. Tonks would have been embarrassed if it wasn’t exactly what she needed. When she felt no longer on the verge of tears, she pulled away. </p>
<p>“Thanks, Sirius”</p>
<p>“No problem, Dora. These are difficult times; we all need someone to lean on sometimes.”</p>
<p>“Isn’t that the truth” she said thoughtfully.</p>
<p>“Now, you asked to come by to chat, was it about something in particular or did you just miss me?”</p>
<p>“Of course, I missed you.” She said. “I’m not sure really, what I wanted to talk about. I guess I sort of thought it would come to me once I got here. Maybe mum. Maybe Remus. I don’t know.” She paused and Sirius allowed the silence to stretch, giving her time to gather her thoughts. “Why did you give me that warning the other day, about being careful to remember the plan? Is it because you think I’m developing feelings? Or you know something I don’t? Or is it just as you said then?” She asked, a rapid-fire burst of questions.</p>
<p>“Mostly it’s just as I said, you’re in a situation ripe for turning to each other for comfort or companionship or whatever, and you need to remember it will eventually end and, without breaking any confidences, I just know it will be much harder for Remus when this is over than it will be for you. The man has so few true friends, and he’s always been so damn starved for affection in his life, he needs you around. I don’t want either of you to do something that might keep you from being friends when this is over” Sirius explained. “I might have overstepped the other night, but I hope you understand I meant well”</p>
<p>“I get what you were saying, I don’t begrudge you saying something that needed to be said” Tonks said. “I don’t think I could ever stop being his friend”</p>
<p>“Yeah, me either, but… I just needed to say it, and I can’t say it to Remus because as much as he desires friendship and affection, he sees himself as so damn unclean, and unworthy, he’d just use it as an excuse to go on one of his self-pity journeys” Sirius said with the weariness of someone who had spent a lifetime trying to help his friend develop some self-confidence.</p>
<p>They spent some time in companionable silence as they each finished off their glasses of fire whiskey. “What about you, Sirius? This conversation has been all about me. You must need someone to talk to as well” She said, the offer of being a listening ear unspoken.<br/>
“Me? Oh, you know me.” He said wearily. “I’m doing alright, Dora. I hate this house; I hate sitting by while you lot are out there doing something worthwhile. But I’m trying to keep busy around here, maybe I can clean this place up and make it feel a bit more me. I’ve been trying to establish myself as the go-to person for the Order. I’m gathering texts and maps from the library, and I keep notes on the Order meetings, what we’re discovering. I’m trying to piece together all the intel we’ve been gathering. I want to see if I can’t figure out what they’re looking for, or where it is.”</p>
<p>“That’s a large task. It’s very valuable to the order.” She told him, hating that it sounded like a platitude. “No one thinks you’re sitting idle. People remember how active you were the last time, and no one is oblivious to the difficult position you are in.”</p>
<p>“I hope so. I just wish I could do more.”</p>
<p>“I know. I’m sorry. I’ll help see that intel is passed on to you, make sure everyone knows to pass their findings to you.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, cousin.” Sirius said, nodding. “How’s about you distract me from my difficult position by letting me beat you at wizard’s chess?”</p>
<p>“You think you can beat me? Azkaban must really have fried your brain. There’s no way” Tonks teased.</p>
<p>“Big words from my little cousin. You’ll see, I was the chess master back in the day.”</p>
<p>“What? The Dark Ages? I think you may have lost your touch.”</p>
<p>Their teasing and banter followed them up to the study where they rearranged the furniture just enough to play their game.</p>
<p>Three losses later for Sirius, (“Just letting the lady win”) Tonks decided she needed to call it a night.</p>
<p>“I better get going, don’t want him at home to worry.” She said. </p>
<p>“Already? If you must I suppose.” Sirius said regretfully. </p>
<p>Tonks went to grab her coat and shoes and headed to the kitchen so she could go through the floo. She gave Sirius a quick hug, and then stepped through the flames into Remus’ sitting room.</p>
<p>The next few days saw Tonks receive three more letters, but by Friday they had stopped, or so she had thought. </p>
<p>Tonks stepped out of the floo on Friday evening in a pretty good mood. It was the weekend once again, and she hadn’t received a single menacing letter. </p>
<p>“Hello! Remus? I’m home!” she called.</p>
<p>There was no answer, so Tonks headed down the hall in search of him. He was not in the kitchen or the study or the washroom, but the door to the bedroom was shut. That was strange. Remus never normally shut the door, even the first few days after the moon when he spent the whole day in bed resting, he normally left the door slightly open. Did he want privacy? Tonks wandered back down the hall into the sitting room to wait a while. After thirty minutes or so with no sign of Remus, Tonks was a little worried. She went back down the hall and knocked on the bedroom door.</p>
<p>“Remus? Is everything alright?” she asked through the door.</p>
<p>“Depends on your definition, I suppose.” Came Remus’ reply. He sounded upset.</p>
<p>“Can I come in?” She asked tentatively.</p>
<p>“Yeah”</p>
<p>Tonks opened the door, unsure what she would find on the other side. Remus was lying in bed, curled up into himself in a way he never was when he was actually sleeping. He sat up when she came in, and as Tonks drew close to the bed, she could see that his eyes were rimmed with red.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong? Has something happened? Is everyone alright?” She asked, feeling the cold chill of fear creep up her spine.</p>
<p>“Everyone is okay. It’s not the Order.” Remus said.</p>
<p>“What is it then? Remus you’re scaring me.” She asked.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I don’t want to scare you.” He said. He took a deep breath and rubbed his palms on his pant legs before speaking again. “We need to call off the wedding. The whole plan.”</p>
<p>Tonks was shocked. She hadn’t seen this coming at all. “What? What for?”</p>
<p>“I received some letters today. They weren’t labelled or anything, so I opened them. I found that they were addressed to you. I hope you will forgive me, but I read them.” Remus told her, holding up the letters in question. </p>
<p>Tonks recognized the ministry memo paper. This was why she hadn’t received any letters this morning, they had begun to arrive at the house instead.</p>
<p>Remus must have seen the look of recognition on her face because his eyes flashed. “You know what these are? What they’re about?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“So, you’ve received others.”</p>
<p>“Yes, I’ve been getting them all week. A couple a day.” She admitted, no point lying about it now.</p>
<p>“Why didn’t you say anything?! Tonks- these letters! The things they say about you! You should have said something straight away!”</p>
<p>“I didn’t want you to be upset! Remus, we knew that some people would be unhappy about this, that my ministry position made it a little more noticeable. This was to be expected.” Tonks said, trying to calm him down.</p>
<p>Remus rose to his feet, so they were both standing. “To be expected! To be expected! I don’t want you to expect this!” He all but shouted, tossing the letters down on the bed. “You don’t deserve this! The vile things they are saying- You’ve been getting these every day?! I can’t put you through this. I can’t ask this of you, I won’t. I’m calling it off right now. You can let everyone know it was a big hoax and hopefully you can get some of your reputation back.” Remus said, moving to leave the room.</p>
<p>“Remus don’t be ridiculous! This isn’t the first time someone has said something mean to me, I’m a big girl and I can handle this. Remember, you aren’t asking this of me, I’m doing it willingly.”</p>
<p>Remus shook his head, “You don’t deserve this sort of treatment”</p>
<p>“Neither do you.”</p>
<p>“That’s- that’s besides the point. You’re getting these letters because of me. This is my fault.”</p>
<p>“That’s a pretty self-centred line of thinking don’t you think?”</p>
<p>This gave Remus pause; he didn’t seem to know what to say in response to that.</p>
<p>“Look, Remus, these letters, they’re hurtful but they are the work of cowards and small-minded people, they don’t know me, and they don’t know you and so I can brush it off.” She explained.</p>
<p>“But some people do know us and are bothered by this. You don’t understand what it’s like, Dora! I have worked so, so hard to create what little of a reputation I have. I have to always be in control. I can never allow myself to be seen as even a little out of control or people might see me as- as an animal. I can’t allow that. I have to be measured in everything I do. Never angry, never sad, never even too happy! Even, even, even. But then, this- people hear I’m in a relationship and suddenly I’m not this asexual, feelingless person, that means I must be some kind of perverted monster.”</p>
<p>“No one thinks that!”</p>
<p>“THEY DO! They do, Tonks! You don’t see what I see! Mundungus keeps making all these sexual jokes, about what it must be like to be a werewolf’s lover. Then, at the last Order meeting, I want to walk past Hestia but there wasn’t much room, so I had to pass close to her and she flinched! Like she was afraid or disgusted at the idea that I might touch her! It was like I was unclean, An animal, and attacker of women…” </p>
<p>He trailed off, looking away from her and swallowing convulsively. Tonks was worried for a moment that he was going to cry.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I’m sorry that that happened to you. It’s not right. Anyone with any sense in their head should be able to see what an amazing man you are. How absolutely human you are. I see that, Remus. You don’t have to worry; I see you and I know you. We’re in this together, and I’m not about to let you down. I keep my word; I’ve said I will help you and I hope you won’t make me a liar by preventing me from doing this.” </p>
<p>Tonks moved forward, unsure of how Remus would respond, and wrapped her arms around him. He stiffened, remaining stock still for several long seconds, before his whole body relaxed against her and he wrapped his arms around her returning the hug. He let out a shuddering breath against the top of her head. Tonks rubbed little circles on his back in a comforting gesture.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry that people are terrible. I can’t fix that, and neither can you. But we shouldn’t stop living our lives the way we deserve just because someone, somewhere might be upset. I don’t want to back out of this. If I do, I’ll let you know, but I don’t. I want to help you.” She said against his shoulder.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry too. I didn’t mean to imply you aren’t strong or that you haven’t had hardship in your life. You mean so much to me- I just, I can’t bear the thought that this could ruin our friendship. I can’t bear the thought of you being hurt when I could have prevented it.” He said, voice thick with emotion.</p>
<p>“We’re a right pair, aren’t we?” she said, pulling back to look at him.</p>
<p>He gave her a somewhat watery smile. “I’m not an easy person to live with, Dora. I make everything more difficult than it needs to be” he warned her.</p>
<p>“We’ve been doing alright so far, haven’t we?” Tonks asked. “I enjoy living with you- except for when you keep trying to call things off.”</p>
<p>Tonks realized that there was something else she should probably tell Remus about. “While we’re on this topic though, something did happen at work on Wednesday. I was called into a rather interesting meeting with Walden McNair” Remus’ gaze shot up to meet hers. “He made it clear to me that the Beast Division is not unaware of our plan.”</p>
<p>Remus ran his hand through his hair and sighed. “Well, we knew it wouldn’t be a secret forever. We’ll just need to be more careful that we don’t do or say anything that could be used to try to disprove our relationship”</p>
<p>“Yes. We should also probably start working out the details of the wedding.”</p>
<p>“Right.” He looked a little out of his depth. “Where do we start?”</p>
<p>Tonks shrugged. “I have no idea, honestly.”</p>
<p>“Hmm. What do you need for a wedding anyway? I place to hold the wedding, an officiant, witnesses… where do you get all that? It’s been a long time since I went to a wedding”</p>
<p>“Same here. I think maybe tomorrow calls for a trip to see Molly.” Tonks said. “I’ll just pop my head into the floo and see if we can go over there tomorrow.”</p>
<p>Tonks did just that. Molly could not contain her excitement when Tonks asked if they could come to her for advice on planning the wedding. She agreed they should come over at lunch. </p>
<p>Well, Tonks thought to herself, let the wedding planning begin.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>A slightly shorter chapter this time, but the next one should be longer as it will be all the wedding planning and the wedding itself!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's wedding time! This chapter is a long one. </p>
<p>I have changed the rating to an E, but this chapter is still T or maybe M rated. The slow burn is still slowly burning, and will be for a few more chapters, but there is discussion of sex and sex-related topics in this chapter, and there will be sexual situations coming up so I thought I would just increase the rating in advance.</p>
<p>Also, I've completely made up the name of the place Remus lives, I have no idea if that's a real place, or if we know where Remus really lives.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonks and Remus arrived at The Burrow the next day at noon. Tonks found that it was easier to pretend in front of people who would be supportive. It made it a little bit easier to fake her way through the PDA when she was not worried that the response would be disgust or anger. She was not entering this with too much trepidation.</p>
<p>Molly ushered them into her kitchen with great enthusiasm.</p>
<p>“I can’t tell you both enough how absolutely thrilled I am for you. It’s so nice to see two people in love. I haven’t helped plan a wedding in quite a while. I had hoped, as my boys are getting older, that Bill or Charlie might settle down but- well you know.” Molly told them as she ushered them into seats at the kitchen table.</p>
<p>“I’m really grateful for your help, Molly. I must admit I have never really been involved in the planning stages of a wedding before. I stood for James Potter at his wedding of course, and I also attended Frank and Alice Longbottom’s wedding, but none since then, and they were all married back in 1979, so it’s been a while.” Remus admitted to her.</p>
<p>“Oh, don’t worry dear, no matter how many weddings you’ve been to, your own is always a much different experience” Molly told him.</p>
<p>“What was James and Lily’s wedding like?” Tonks couldn’t help but ask. She was never sure whether asking about the Potters was a good idea, both Remus and Sirius seemed to love talking about them, but it also made them both incredibly sad.</p>
<p>“Oh, it was beautiful. Just a small affair, mind you, but beautiful. We were all so happy that day. James was so nervous about messing up his vows we almost had to get him a paper bag to breathe into. He made it through, though. Lily was gorgeous that day, absolutely devastatingly beautiful. They were both so happy, James said his cheeks hurt for a week afterwards he was smiling so much. Sirius got absolutely sloshed and danced with just about everyone he could get his hands on, whether they wanted to dance or not. I was an easy target, apparently, because he kept dragging me onto the dance floor all night. Even to the slow songs, so much so that James tried to have this awkward, comforting chat where he tried to tell me he wouldn’t be upset if I wanted to tell him I was gay, but without saying it. He was absolutely awful at metaphors but liked to use them often. Everyone was just so caught up in the atmosphere, you could tell how much James and Lily loved each other. What a night.” Remus said, a faraway look in his eyes and soft smile on his lips.</p>
<p>“It sounds wonderful.” Tonks said truthfully.</p>
<p>“It does sound lovely. I think you’ll find you’ve captured the true requirement of a successful wedding – love and friendship. I know it sounds cheesy, but no amount of floral bouquets will be able to match the atmosphere created by happy people celebrating happy people in love.” Molly told them.</p>
<p>“I never thought I would find anything close to the love James and Lily had.” Remus said, turning to look at Tonks with a little smile.</p>
<p>Molly looked tickled pink. “How lovely. I think it’s very romantic that you two have found each other. Opposites attract, and all that. It’s always nice to have an example to aspire to as well.”</p>
<p>“Well you and Arthur are certainly an inspirational love story. You two have clearly found true love, and you’ve created such a wonderful life together.” Tonks complimented her.</p>
<p>“Thank you. I certainly found my soul mate, but it hasn’t all been easy. We’ve had our difficult spots, like in every relationship. I didn’t know Arthur was the one for certain until after our first big fight, when I realized the only person I wanted to talk to was him.” Molly told them. “But, we’re not here about my marriage, or anyone else’s for that matter. We’re here about yours. So, we should probably start with where you would like to get married.”</p>
<p>There were a few beats of silence as Remus and Tonks considered this. “There is a chapel in the town where I live, I thought we would have it there.” Remus glanced at Tonks for her approval and she smiled, the village would be a charming place to be married.</p>
<p>“Does it have enough room? I know you come from quite a small village, you’ll want to make sure the chapel will be able to seat everyone.”</p>
<p>“Everyone?” Remus and Tonks said, almost in unison. “I guess we figured not many people would be attending.” Remus added.</p>
<p>“Well, let’s write up a little guest list and see, shall we? Arthur and I would love to attend of course, and I’m sure most of the Order will come if they are able, and the bride’s family, will it just be your parents dear? Or extended family as well?”</p>
<p>Tonks looked down at the table. “I don’t think my parents will be attending. No other family either.”</p>
<p>“Oh” Molly said, looking crestfallen. “Oh dear. Well. There will plenty of friends there. Are you certain your parents wouldn’t come around? Have you spoken to them again, or is it just from when you first told them of your engagement that you think they won’t attend?”</p>
<p>“When we told them we were engaged, my mother did not take it very well. We haven’t spoken since, but it has been about two weeks, almost, and I haven’t heard from her so I figure she won’t be changing her mind.” Tonks explained. </p>
<p>“Oh, dear. Well, I know from experience, mothers want what’s best for our children, and we have a hard time acknowledging that we no longer know what is best for our children. Perhaps you should reach out to her again, you should have your mother with you on your wedding day.”</p>
<p>“Yeah. I’ll see.” Tonks said, wanting to leave the topic alone lest she start crying.</p>
<p>Molly seemed to sense this because she patted her on the arm tenderly and moved on. “Remus, will your father be attending?”</p>
<p>Tonks startled- she hadn’t known that Remus had any living relatives. The furtive look he shot her told her that he was aware of his omission. </p>
<p>“No. I wrote to him, and he’s happy for us, but he won’t be able to make it.” Remus said.</p>
<p>“But you haven’t even set a date yet. How does he know he can’t make it?” Molly asked.</p>
<p>Remus shrugged. “It’s alright Molly, my father and I have been estranged for over a decade. To tell the truth, we had a difficult relationship even when I was a child. He wrote me a lovely letter of congratulations, and that means a lot to me. I wouldn’t have expected him to attend the wedding.” Remus explained.</p>
<p>“Oh. Okay then. So, Arthur, myself, if we account for the whole Order being able to attend, though certainly some may not be able to, we would have a total of about thirty people, give or take a few. Could your chapel seat thirty Remus?”</p>
<p>“It might be a tight squeeze, but I think so.”</p>
<p>“Wonderful then! Have you sorted things with the priest?”</p>
<p>“Ah, I’ll need to find someone else to officiate the ceremony. The priest is um- unable to perform the ceremony, but he will allow us to use the chapel.” Remus said. The unspoken message was that the priest had refused to marry them. </p>
<p>Molly carried on not breaking stride with this newest set back. Bless her, Tonks thought, for not making this uncomfortable. “No trouble, I know a man who can officiate the ceremony, I’ll see if he’s available. When will the wedding be?”</p>
<p>Remus caught Tonks’ eye, giving her a chance to object when he said “We were thinking next Saturday would be a good day.”</p>
<p>“So soon?”</p>
<p>“Yes, we realize we haven’t got much time to invite everyone officially, and set things up, but that’s an important date to us, so we want it to be that day.” Remus said. He lied so smoothly Tonks would have believed it was an important day for them. </p>
<p>“Oh, an important anniversary is it? That’s very romantic” Molly gushed.</p>
<p>“So, I’ll check with my friend if he can officiate. You two should make sure you send out your invitations soon, give everyone time to clear their calendars that weekend. Tonks, dear, I won’t meddle in matters that aren’t my own, but I think you should give it another try speaking to your mother, and then you can get back to me if you still need company shopping for a dress. Will you be having a reception?” Molly listed off tasks rapid fire, showing herself to be an excellent planner and well-organized woman. </p>
<p>“A reception?” Remus looked to Tonks for her opinion.</p>
<p>“Oh, we hadn’t really considered it. I don’t think we can spare the expense, you know, to rent a venue and have all that catering” she admitted. Remus flushed and looked away. </p>
<p>“Posh, we’ll just have to have it here then. I certainly know how to cook for large gatherings. I’ve had some recipes I’ve been dying to try that are a little fancy for just me and Arthur anyways.”</p>
<p>“Oh, we couldn’t ask that of you Molly” Tonks said</p>
<p>“I won’t hear about it, I’d love to. It’s been a while since I had the chance to host a party here.”</p>
<p>Tonks was touched by her generosity. It was amazing how those who had so little themselves were so willing to share it. </p>
<p>“I couldn’t think of anything better than your cooking Molly” Remus said, looking genuinely touched.</p>
<p>“Lovely! It’s settled then! Everyone will come from the ceremony at the chapel to the Burrow for some dinner and festivities.”</p>
<p>“I can’t thank you enough, Molly. I don’t think I could properly describe how much this means to me, to us.” Remus said, wrapping an arm around Tonks’ shoulders.</p>
<p>“Love is so important in these times. So is kindness. We must all look out for one another.” Molly said, humbly.</p>
<p>“Oh! One last thing don’t forget to put your notice in the Prophet! It’s perfectly free, and that way you can have a clipping for the photo album to look back on.” Molly said.</p>
<p>“You’re right, thank you for the reminder.” Tonks said, nodding. That would be a good way of making the marriage public.</p>
<p>“Well, we better go, we’ve got invitations to write, and I need to pay my mother another visit.” Tonks said. “Thank you so much for your help. I’ll be sure to let you know when I’m going dress shopping.” She added, much to Molly’s delight.</p>
<p>Having said their goodbyes, they got up and headed out to the garden past the apparition point. Giving one last wave in Molly’s direction, they apparated back to the front garden of Remus’ house. Tonks was not sure who was more startled, them or her mother. Andromeda gave a startled shriek and Tonks yelped and fell backwards into a shrub. </p>
<p>“Dora!” Remus said, startled. He helped her up out of the shrub, which was looking rather worse for wear now, and brushed a few leaves from her clothing. “Are you alright?” he asked her.</p>
<p>She nodded. Yes. Fine.”</p>
<p>Tonks turned to face her mother, who had regained her composure. Tonks couldn’t help but feel the sharp swell of hope build in her chest at the sight of her mother waiting at the door of her and Remus’ home. </p>
<p>“Hi, mum. We were just visiting Molly Weasley. She’s helping us sort out some of the details for the wedding.” Tonks said pointedly.</p>
<p>“Oh. How lovely.” Andromeda said, a myriad of emotions flitting across her face.</p>
<p>“Would you like to come in, Mrs. Tonks?” Remus asked politely.</p>
<p>“Yes, please.”</p>
<p>Remus lead the way into the house and helped Tonks and her mother out of their coats, inviting them to take a seat while he hung up the coats. Tonks wondered what her mother thought of the shabby little sitting room. Tonks could no longer see it as anything but home, so she could not imagine what her mother would see. </p>
<p>“Can I offer you a cup of tea?” Remus offered.</p>
<p>“Yes, please” Andromeda answered.</p>
<p>“and for me, love.” Tonks said.</p>
<p>Remus nodded and disappeared into the kitchen. Tonks recognized the dual motive of giving her and her mother some privacy to talk. </p>
<p>“I haven’t come to fight” Andromeda said, no doubt in response to the glare Tonks was shooting at her.</p>
<p>“Then why have you come, mum? I thought you made your feelings pretty clear the last time we spoke” Tonks asked.</p>
<p>“I made a mistake. A mistake I want to apologize for if you and Remus will hear it.” Andromeda said.</p>
<p>Remus came in then with a tea tray for them, which he placed at the dining table. “I didn’t know how you like your tea Andromeda, so there is a sugar bowl there and some milk in the serving dish.” </p>
<p>He moved to leave again but Andromeda stopped him. “Stay, please, Remus. I’d like you to hear this as well.</p>
<p>The trio took seats at the dining table, mixing up their tea how they preferred it in silence before Andromeda spoke again.</p>
<p>“It was very difficult for me, to be rejected by my family. Merlin knows my family had its issues, and there was much of their beliefs that didn’t sit well with me, but I truly believed they loved me and wanted the best for me. Then I told them about Ted, and they rejected me. I can’t begin to describe what that time in my life was like. The family I had loved and depended on all my life turned their back on me, on my happiness, because of blood status. Up until that point, I was not willing to accept how important blood purity was to them. I never wanted to see their beliefs as prejudicial, I preferred to think of it as pride in our family, heritage, ancestry. But when they refused to support my marriage, when I was burned off the Black family tapestry, I could no longer allow myself to believe the lie. Those first few months after I eloped with Ted were some of the best and worst of my life. I was with the man I loved, but I was also alone. Newly married, but newly orphaned in a way. I never wanted that for you, my only daughter. I wished for you to have an easy, peaceful road to love. I thought that I knew what that looked like. I realise now that I have stood in the way of that. I have put you in the same position I was in so long ago. I am truly sorry for that. I really am. I hope you can forgive your foolish mother. I love you so much, I want you to have everything in this life, and if Remus makes you happy, then I am so happy for you”</p>
<p>Tonks’ eyes watered and she wrapped her arms around her mother in a tight hug. “Oh, mum!” she cried. “I’m really glad you’ve changed your mind.” She hugged her mother for a few more long seconds. She was so glad she wouldn’t have to get married without her mother.</p>
<p>“and Remus,” her mother continued, looking determined to say her piece. Remus looked worried. “I’ve allowed small-minded prejudice to cloud my judgement. I judged you based on something you cannot control. Just as my family judged my husband for his blood status, I judged you for your condition. I guess I am not so different from my family as I thought. No, you needn’t make excuses for me” she said, raising a hand to silence Remus who had opened his mouth to object. “I cannot deny that the age difference is something to get used to. I cannot deny that I worry your financial status and your health might one day be a burden on my daughter. But, I know it is none of my business to comment on. You know how to handle yourself, and Nymphadora knows you far better than I do. If she can look beyond these things, so can I. Can you forgive me?”</p>
<p>“Of course.” Remus said hoarsely. “I don’t begrudge you your concern. I am aware of those failings of mine, and many more. I never intended to tell Dora of my feelings for her, but she sought me out, she was determined. I found her hard to resist. I couldn’t bear to see her unhappy and know that I had caused it, so it was with great trepidation that I began a relationship with her. But I love her dearly and I will work every day to make up for my failings” Remus said.</p>
<p>Tonks was struck, once again, by the sincerity with which Remus spoke. If she didn’t know this was only pretend, she really might believe him. She took Remus’s hand in her own and gave it a squeeze, running her thumb along the back of his hand.</p>
<p>“What made you change your mind?” Tonks asked.</p>
<p>“Besides the fact that I woke up one morning and realized what a terrible hypocrite I was being?” Andromeda joked tearily. “I couldn’t bear to lose my relationship with you. I decided I could learn to make peace with just about any decision you made if I could just stay a part of your life.”</p>
<p>Tonks nodded in understanding. </p>
<p>“I asked around about you, you know.” Andromeda told Remus. </p>
<p>“You did?” Remus asked. “What did you find out?”</p>
<p>“Well, I found myself talking to parents or relatives of some of the children you taught at Hogwarts. I also spoke to some who knew you at school, or just from around. Just about everyone I spoke to described you with the same word. Do you know what it was?”</p>
<p>Remus shook his head.</p>
<p>“Kind. Almost a dozen people, I spoke to. Just about every single one of them, every one that had a positive thing to say about you, told me what a kind person you were. They told me stories of your kindness, patience, willingness to go above and beyond to help.” Andromeda told them. Remus looked perplexed, as though he couldn’t believe people would say such nice things about him. “I couldn’t possibly have developed an accurate opinion of you, if so many people described you the same way. I thought back to how you actually were, that day you came over for lunch. I realize you did nothing at all to earn the opinion I had of you. In fact, quite the opposite. I realize how cruel I was being that day, but you didn’t object, or argue you with me. You let me say my piece. The kind of person I had envisioned for a werewolf would not have reacted as you did. Would not be described the way you are. I realized how small-minded I’d been.”</p>
<p>“I’m- I don’t really know what to say, to be honest.” Remus admitted, looking touched at hearing people had positive things to say about him.</p>
<p>“He never knows how to accept a compliment.” Tonks said, reaching up to ruffle his hair affectionately.</p>
<p>Conversation flowed much more easily after that, Tonks and Remus got more practice at their cover story as Andromeda asked them questions about their relationship. Tonks and Remus told her their plans to be married next Saturday, and Andromeda assured them that she and Ted would be there. Tonks also made arrangements with her mother to meet in Diagon Alley the next day for some dress shopping. Tonks jotted a quick note down to send to Molly to invite her to join them as well. </p>
<p>Eventually, her mother bid them farewell and left. Tonks found herself feeling a million times lighter now that she had her parents’ support. She felt a weight she hadn’t realized she was carrying lift from her shoulders. She flung her arms around Remus and gave him a tight hug before she pulled back with a laugh.</p>
<p>“I’m so relieved.” She admitted. “I didn’t want to have to do this without her.” </p>
<p>“I’m really glad that your mother came around. I wanted you to be able to experience preparing for the wedding with her.” Remus said with a smile.</p>
<p>“Shall we get to writing those invitations then?” Tonks asked, suddenly feeling full of energy and eager to get things sorted for the wedding. Even if it was pretend, who didn’t love a party?</p>
<p>“Yes, let’s. I think I’ve got some blank cards in the study.” Remus said, leaving the room briefly to go search for them.</p>
<p>“Hmm. I think people normally make a big show out of these, but that’s not a requirement is it?” Tonks asked cautiously. Her calligraphy was not very good. Non-existent, really.</p>
<p>“These are our wedding invitations; they can look however we want.” Remus told her.</p>
<p>They grinned at each other and began deciding what the invitation should say, finally coming up with cards that read:</p>
<p>You are cordially invited to</p>
<p>The wedding of</p>
<p>Nymphadora Tonks<br/>
And<br/>
Remus Lupin</p>
<p>At the Hollyoak Chapel in Outer Hollyoak, Wales<br/>
On Saturday, 9th of November 1995<br/>
At 3:30 pm</p>
<p>Reception to follow at The Burrow, Ottery St. Catchpole, England<br/>
At 5 pm</p>
<p>Remus, it turned out, had quite exquisite penmanship, and so Tonks reluctantly left the task to him to write the thirty or so cards they needed. Tonks was quite charmed by the invitations, simple though they were, for they looked quite official and Remus’ handwriting was beautiful. </p>
<p>They also came up with their brief wedding announcement to go in the announcements section of the Daily Prophet. This was simple and followed a prescribed message.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Remus John Lupin and Nymphadora Tonks are pleased to announce their marriage. Saturday 9 November 1995.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“Well. It feels awfully official now, doesn’t it?” Tonks said, looking at the stack of invitations to be mailed out and the notice for the Prophet.</p>
<p>“Hopefully not awfully” Remus joked, but Tonks saw true concern in his eyes.</p>
<p>“Shut up, you dummy. You’re such a professor sometimes. You know what I meant.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I do. It’s all coming together. We’re going to be married a week from today.” He said, nodding.</p>
<p>“Oh, speaking of the day in particular, good move saying that next Saturday was an important anniversary for us, makes the suddenness of it more believable.” She complimented him.</p>
<p>“But next Saturday is important to us!” he protested.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah? Why is that?”</p>
<p>“It’s the one-year anniversary of the first time you tripped over the umbrella stand in Sirius’ entryway into my arms.” He told her matter-of-factly. He looked pleased with himself at first for remembering this anniversary, but when he saw the curious look she gave him, he appeared to grow nervous.</p>
<p>“You remember the anniversary of that?” She asked in a softer voice.</p>
<p>“Er- yeah. Not in a weird way, not only because of that- just- it was the first full meeting of the Order you know? - And that happened to happen on that day.” He explained nervously.</p>
<p>“Methinks he doth protest too much.” Tonks said but dropped the topic as it was apparent that Remus was acutely uncomfortable.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Writing out invitations with Remus was a lot more fun than dress shopping with her mother and Molly, she decided. Where planning with Remus had involved teasing and laughter, dress shopping with Molly and Andromeda involved nit-picking and overthinking. They had only been at this for thirty minutes and Tonks was already exhausted.</p>
<p>Remus had waved her off that morning with good wishes for a happy day of shopping, refusing her request to come along (“it’s not proper, I’m not supposed to see you in the dress ‘till the ceremony!”) or to drown her in the bath (“I like to think I’d murder my spouse with more originality!”) cheeky bastard. He could be full of jokes, he was off to spend the day with Sirius, and borrow a pair of dress robes from him. Men had no need of an original outfit for a wedding, all their wedding robes were the same. The pair of them would surely be drinking the day away having a grand old time. </p>
<p>Tonks meanwhile, had met with her mother and Molly in Diagon Alley and headed to Madame Malkin’s shop first. They had been taken into a backroom for privacy. There, Tonks was ordered to strip down to her knickers and they began by taking Tonks’ measurements, while her mother tutted that she wasn’t wearing the right knickers for dress shopping. Who knew there were correct knickers for dress shopping? Now Madame Malkin was asking about a hundred questions about style and fit and fabrics that Tonks hadn’t even heard of. But Molly and Andromeda had, and they had so many opinions. Tonks was worried she was going to look like a wedding cake topper.</p>
<p>“Do you have any samples? Perhaps if I had a look I could just tell you what I liked about them and that would help us decide. It doesn’t need to be an original, the wedding is less than a week away.” Tonks reminded them all.</p>
<p>Madame Malkin looked as though she might swoon. “Only a week? You didn’t say! Yes, we will have to pull from the rack, certainly. I will go gather the racks that can be altered in that time frame.” And she bustled off to do just that.</p>
<p>Andromeda was still on about her knickers. “Honestly Nymphadora, who wears a brassiere with straps to a bridal fitting?” she tutted. “But, while we are discussing knickers – “ Tonks was certain she would not like any conversation that began with that segue. “are you- prepared for your wedding night?” Andromeda asked delicately.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you mean.” Tonks said.</p>
<p>“Well, it’s just- the wedding night is special. You’ll want the right sort of underwear. Something- enticing-“</p>
<p>“Oh no. no no no. We are SO not having this conversation” Tonks said shaking her head.</p>
<p>“Oh, please darling, Molly and I are both married women. We remember how the wedding night goes, and the first few days after. I’m not trying to interfere; goodness knows a mother doesn’t want to hear these things about her daughter. I just want to remind you that there’s a Siren’s Secret a few streets down.”</p>
<p>“Message received. I will pay a visit after I find a dress.” Tonks said primly.</p>
<p>She was saved from this mortifying conversation by Madame Malkin returning with two dress racks trailing magically behind her.</p>
<p>“Here we are, dear. These dresses can be altered to perfection within your timeline.”</p>
<p>“Thank you.” Tonks said, finding herself surprisingly entranced by the row of perfect white dresses. </p>
<p>Tonks examined each of the dresses, holding up potential contenders to her mother and Molly for their opinions, eventually narrowing the options to seven she wished to try on. Two she laughed herself right out of, they looked ridiculous, one was too frumpy, another too scandalous, one just didn’t suit her at all, which left her with three good contenders. Of these three, she really found herself stuck between two. Or rather, she knew which one she wanted, but her mother and Molly seemed to be trying to guide her to the other.</p>
<p>Tonks looked at herself in the mirror wearing the gown of her choice. It was a lovely pure white gown made in silk with a lace overlay at the bodice which, instead of being embroidered with flowers as most lace was, was designed with tiny little butterflies. It was beautiful. Tonks did not consider herself to be the sort of girl who would be overly charmed by wedding dresses, but she understood now what the fuss was over a wedding dress as she wore this one.</p>
<p>“I really love this one, mum.” Tonks confessed. “I feel proper beautiful. The butterflies feel very me.”</p>
<p>“It’s absolutely beautiful on you, darling.” Andromeda agreed.</p>
<p>“Yes, it looks stunning, made for you, even.” Molly gushed.</p>
<p>“Then why are you pushing for me to choose the other one?” Tonks asked.</p>
<p>“Well, love, it’s just that silk isn’t a very forgiving fabric.” Andromeda said lightly, as though she were trying to elude to something Tonks should know about.</p>
<p>“Mum, I’m a metamorphmagus, even if I was sensitive about my weight, which I’m not, I could morph.”</p>
<p>“Not in your condition, surely?” Molly gasped.</p>
<p>“What condition?” Tonks asked, perplexed. Clearly her mother and Mrs. Weasley were in cahoots over something she wasn’t aware of.</p>
<p>“Oh, Dora love, you needn’t be coy. We won’t be judgemental, promise. These things happen, it won’t matter down the road, since your to be married anyways.” Her mother said meaningfully. “You just wouldn’t want all your guests to be able to tell.” She said, making a meaningful gesture to Tonks midsection.</p>
<p>“You think I’m pregnant!” She shrieked, shock making her sound slightly hysterical. Suddenly, their insistence on the gown with the empire waistline and modest figure made sense. </p>
<p>Molly and Andromeda both nodded.</p>
<p>“What on earth makes you think I’m pregnant?”</p>
<p>“Well, you were so set that the wedding needed to be on Saturday, but you and Remus hadn’t made any plans. I just assumed that you needed to hurry to marry because you had started to show.” Molly admitted.</p>
<p>“It would make it much more understandable, why the wedding needs to happen so suddenly and so soon.” Andromeda agreed.</p>
<p>“Well I’m not! We aren’t even having sex!” Tonks cried, defensively. </p>
<p>The shocked expressions on Andromeda and Molly’s faces made Tonks realize her mistake. She needed to work on thinking before she spoke when she was surprised. She needed to do some damage control.</p>
<p>“Remus is a gentleman. He’s quite old fashioned. We decided we wanted to wait.” Tonks said primly, hoping Remus wouldn’t be too angry when she told him all of this later.</p>
<p>“But you said you have been together for two years. Surely, you haven’t waited all this time…”</p>
<p>“I said we weren’t having sex. There are- other things that can be done that wouldn’t result in a pre-wedding baby.” Tonks said, blushing scarlet.</p>
<p>This appeared to be just enough of an overshare that the two women believed it. </p>
<p>“Oh, I hadn’t realized Remus was so old fashioned. Well. If there really is no baby to be concealed, this dress is absolutely darling.” Andromeda said.</p>
<p>It was agreed that the dress was absolutely perfect. Madame Malkin made note of where alterations needed to be made and Tonks changed back into her clothes. She quickly picked out some shoes to go with the dress and a bouquet. She paid at the front, waving away her mother’s coin purse. The dress would be altered and would arrive on Thursday at the latest, Madame Malkin promised. </p>
<p>The trio stepped out into the sunlit Diagon Alley again.</p>
<p>“Thank you both for coming with me.” Tonks said honestly. “This wouldn’t have been the same without you.”</p>
<p>“I’m honoured to have been invited” said Molly.</p>
<p>“I’ve dreamed of wedding dress shopping with you for many years.” Andromeda said.</p>
<p>Tonks gave both women a hug. They walked up the street together to stop at a café and purchase lattes. They grabbed an outdoor table to sit and have their drinks. Molly and Andromeda both shared anecdotes from their weddings and Tonks found herself quite enjoying the time with the older women. However, they eventually prepared to say their goodbyes as Molly had promised Arthur she would be home to make him lunch. (“I honestly think he might starve. I don’t think he knows where the oven is unless I’m standing in front of it. Bless him.”). Tonks thanked her again and said goodbye.</p>
<p>“Well, I’ll just walk you up the street and then I’ll be on my way as well.” Andromeda said.</p>
<p>“What’s up the street?” Tonks asked.</p>
<p>“Siren’s Secret, remember? You’ll definitely need something extra special if it’s your first time together.” Her mother said.</p>
<p>“Ugh, mum.” Tonks grumbled.</p>
<p>“I won’t say anymore.”</p>
<p>True to her word, Andromeda kept her mortifying comments to herself, only speaking again to say goodbye once they arrived outside the underwear shop. </p>
<p>Tonks took a fortifying breath and stepped into the shop. She supposed it wouldn’t go amiss to for a bride to be seen buying lingerie, or for her to own some provocative underwear. She deserved to treat herself, she decided, and she did enjoy wearing beautiful undergarments even if she was the only one who saw them. Besides, her mother would be coming over to help her dress on the day of the wedding and would surely comment on the underwear if she only wore some of her beige work sets.</p>
<p>Tonks spent time browsing, looking at all the lace and frills, bows, satin, sheer panels. It was all rather a lot. Not to mention the section of the store for more adventurous items. Tonks wasn’t sure if she was in a clothing store of a sex shop looking at some of the items on display.</p>
<p>“Can I help you with something?” one of the salesgirls asked her, surely noticing the fact that Tonks was on her third loop around the store. </p>
<p>“Oh, I’m just not sure what to pick. There’s so much to choose from.”</p>
<p>“Are you buying for a special occasion or just treating yourself?”</p>
<p>“I’m getting married next weekend; I wanted a few sets for the wedding and afterwards”</p>
<p>“Oh! Congratulations!”</p>
<p>“Thank you”</p>
<p>“That makes things a little easier. For the wedding, white would be most fitting. Is your fiancé partial to a particular fabric or cut?”</p>
<p>Now there was a thought! What would Remus like in lingerie? What would he think of the purchases she was making? Not that he would ever actually see any of this, she reminded herself. </p>
<p>“I’m not sure.” Tonks admitted.</p>
<p>“Well, since you want several sets, we can get a variety, can’t we?”</p>
<p>Tonks found the salesgirl, named Vivian, to be extremely helpful. Together, they picked out four sets of lingerie. For the wedding night, Tonks decided on a white lace brassiere with sheer panels on the side and lace panties. She also picked up a white lace garter to go with it. She also bought a silk set in blush pink and a rather scandalous set with a lot of sheer in a emerald green colour.</p>
<p>Tonks paid for her purchases, which were placed in a glossy black bag with the store’s name emblazoned in hot pink on the side and left the store. She felt exhausted already and it was only about one in the afternoon. She decided to head over to Grimmauld Place to see what the men were up to. She needed to tell Remus he was a gentleman who didn’t believe in sex before marriage. What a nightmare. Sirius was sure to die laughing.</p>
<p>“Hello?” she called as she kicked off her shoes in the Grimmauld Place entryway.</p>
<p>“Ey! It’s the bride-to-be!” Sirius’ voice echoed up from the kitchen.</p>
<p>Just as she suspected, Remus and Sirius were sitting at the dining room table nursing bottles of Fire Whiskey.</p>
<p>“Oh ho ho! Siren’s Secret! Oh do show us what you’ve got in there cousin!” Sirius guffawed, catching sight of the bag that she probably should have left in the entryway.</p>
<p>“You’re drunk” she accused.</p>
<p>“Nope. This is my one and only bottle!” Sirius crowed. </p>
<p>Tonks threw herself into a chair beside Remus. </p>
<p>“Ugh. Don’t start. Or at least, save it until you’ve heard everything. I’ve got more for you to laugh about.” Tonks groaned.</p>
<p>“Don’t listen to him. Were you able to pick a dress?” Remus asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah, it’s beautiful.” Tonks said, bolstered by the memory of the dress. “Er- I need to confess something though. It seems Molly and my mother thought we were rushing the ceremony because I am pregnant.” Remus choked on his Fire Whiskey. “I managed to assure them that I’m not pregnant, but, er- at a cost.” She admitted.</p>
<p>Sirius looked positively gleeful. He even rubbed his hands together in anticipation. “What? What happened?”</p>
<p>“I’m telling Remus here, not you. Settle down.” Tonks snapped. He held his hands up in mock surrender and she continued, “I er- accidentally blurted out that we haven’t even had sex.”</p>
<p>“Okay. That’s true.” Remus said cautiously.</p>
<p>Tonks rolled her eyes; he was a little naïve. “But we’ve supposedly been together for two years. I had to tell them you were old-fashioned. A gentleman.”</p>
<p>Sirius guffawed. He clapped his hands over his mouth to stifle his laughter. </p>
<p>“Oh. Okay? That doesn’t bother me.” Remus said, though he looked uncomfortable.</p>
<p>“That’s just perfect! Moony’s just as much of a virgin in his imaginary relationships as he is in his real ones!” Sirius said slapping his knees as he laughed.</p>
<p>Remus said: “I don’t think it’s that funny, Padfoot” at the same time as Tonks blurted out: “You’re a virgin?”</p>
<p>Remus looked startled and embarrassed. He flushed red. “No.” he said. A look from Sirius had him correcting that. “Well, in some ways. Not a total virgin. I’ve been intimate with a woman. I just haven’t- done everything- gone all the way.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, its none of my business.” Tonks said, surprised by this revelation and feeling a little guilty that she had asked Remus something so personal.</p>
<p>“You’re fine.” Remus said, not meeting her eye and taking a large gulp of his Fire Whiskey.</p>
<p>“Can we see what you bought? It will be the closest Remus has ever come to seeing a woman’s underwear.” Sirius asked, never knowing when to let things go.</p>
<p>“That’s not true.” Remus argued.</p>
<p>“I won’t show either of you. And you are a little too interested in my lingerie, cousin. Wishing you could have a pair for yourself?” she goaded.</p>
<p>It was Remus’ turn to burst into laughter while Sirius looked mortally offended and scrambled to deny it.</p>
<p>The topic moved on to creative insults and then into stories of days gone by and insults and pranks and Tonks was very grateful to leave the discussion of virginity and lingerie behind. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>That night, after they had both gone through their nightly routines and Remus was already in bed, Tonks hid her new purchases at the back of her underwear drawer before turning out the light and crawling into bed. She was going to be married in just six days. She couldn’t get Remus’ embarrassed look from earlier out of her head, or the sound of Sirius’ teasing laughter.</p>
<p>“Remus? Are you still awake?” she whispered into the darkness.</p>
<p>“Hmm?” was his response.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry about earlier. Telling Molly and my mum you were old-fashioned. I just spoke without thinking and then I had to cover somehow.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it, I don’t mind.”</p>
<p>“I’m also sorry that Sirius teased you so much. I didn’t mean for you to have to share such personal information with me.”</p>
<p>“It’s okay, you didn’t make him say it. I know what he’s like. He was bound to tell you that eventually, he’s always teased me for it.”</p>
<p>“Still, it’s your business to share, or not share. I should have told you the story with Molly and my mum in private so the topic wouldn’t have come up.”</p>
<p>“Don’t worry about it.”</p>
<p>They were silent for a moment before Remus shifted slightly in the dark to look at her. “Dora?” he whispered.</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Can I ask you something?”</p>
<p>“I think you just did.” She teased softly.</p>
<p>“Something else?” he asked.</p>
<p>She nodded. </p>
<p>“Do you- do you think I’m- pathetic? Because I haven’t- done everything?” he asked hesitantly.</p>
<p>“No!” she said her voice seeming loud in the hush of the dark bed. “No, I’d never judge you for something like that.” </p>
<p>“Oh. Thank you.”</p>
<p>“There’s no shame in lack of experience. It can make things more special when you find someone important enough to share everything with.” Tonks told him.</p>
<p>Remus appeared to consider these for a moment before he said simply, “Thank you.” in a tone that suggested he was done having this conversation for now.</p>
<p>“Good night, Remus”</p>
<p>“Good night, Dora.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>The next few days were a blur. Tonks went to work, came home, spent the evenings doing paperwork or chatting with Remus, exactly as she had been for a few weeks now, but it all felt surreal now. The dress arrived on Thursday as promised, and it hung in the spare bedroom in a garment bag. Tonks took to sneaking peeks in that room just to see it hanging there. Finally, on Friday, Remus went to Grimmauld Place for the evening, despite Tonks’ objections about not caring if he saw her before the wedding.</p>
<p>Tonks woke early in the morning on Saturday and ate a hearty breakfast, so she wouldn’t be embarrassed by a grumbling stomach during the ceremony, despite the fact that she felt as though the butterflies from her dress had taken up residence in her stomach. She made use of Remus’ tub shower combo to have a long soak with bath oils and Epsom salts. When she got out, she even gave herself a manicure and pedicure, French tips. Finally, Molly and Andromeda arrived late in the morning to help her get ready the rest of the way. She received her mother’s approval over the lacy white undergarments which made her blush. The dress was just as beautiful as she remembered as she put it on. </p>
<p>Her mother helped her to tie up her hair, long and light pink today, into a complicated up do that Tonks would never have achieved on her own. </p>
<p>“Nymphadora, love, does it have to be pink? What’s wrong with your natural colour on your wedding day?” Her mother wheedled.</p>
<p>“No, mum. I want my hair this colour. I love the pink. Besides, this is the colour it was when Remus and I first met.” Tonks said. This piece of information seemed to appease her mother.</p>
<p>Finally, Tonks was fully ready. Her hair and makeup were done. Her shoes were on, with a stability charm.  She carried her bouquet as they walked from the house down the lane and towards the chapel, set a little off to the side of the village. She was surprised that other than the burn of excitement, she wasn’t nervous. She felt lighter than air as she walked up the steps of the chapel to where her father was waiting. </p>
<p>He took her hand and they walked together into the chapel. Her mother and Molly disappeared to take their seats, though Tonks did not see them go. She was completely focused on the sight of the pews full of friendly faces. It looked as though most of the Order had been able to make it, after all. She even caught a glimpse of Charlie and Bill, who were both working in other countries at the moment, and professor Dumbledore. Her father walked her up the aisle and Tonks turned her gaze from all the guests’ smiling faces to Remus at the front of the chapel. He looked awestruck. Tonks could feel that she must be absolutely beaming. </p>
<p>At the end of the aisle, her father turned to her with a smile and the glitter of tears in his eyes. He gave her a kiss on the cheek and whispered in her ear, “I’m so very happy for you darling.”</p>
<p>At last, she found herself taking her place standing across from Remus. He cleaned up very nicely she thought, as she looked at his clean-shaven face. He cut a very nice figure in Sirius’ black dress robes. The clothes really could make the man. He grinned at her and she couldn’t help but keep smiling back at him.</p>
<p>The priest that Molly was able to recruit was a cheerful looking Scotsman. He began the ceremony with a greeting to all who were present.</p>
<p>“Welcome, friends, family, and loved ones most dear. We have gathered her today to see these two lovers commit themselves to one another for as long as they both shall live…” his words were a blur that Tonks would never fully be able to remember, all her focus was on Remus. They made their way through the recitation of the vows, promising their commitment to each other through sickness and health, for richer or for poorer. </p>
<p>Flitting memories of the lines of the vows remained in her head.</p>
<p>“I Remus John Lupin, take thee, Nymphadora Tonks to be my wedded wife…”</p>
<p>“I Nymphadora Tonks take thee, Remus John Lupin, to be my wedded husband…”</p>
<p>“for richer or for poorer… in sickness and in health…for as long as we both shall live”</p>
<p>Tonks finished repeating the last line of the vows after the priest. They took turns sliding the rings onto each other’s fingers, keeping their hands clasped together once they had done so.</p>
<p>“I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may now kiss the bride.” The priest announced.</p>
<p>Remus gave her a small, private smile before reaching up to cup her cheek with one hand while the other still held hers. He stroked her cheek softly with his thumb. It was such a tender gesture, though it only lasted a moment before he leaned in and captured her lips with his. She could faintly hear everyone clapping, but all her attention was on how soft Remus’ lips were and how tenderly they moved over her own. Remus broke away from the kiss after a few seconds and stepped back to look at her. They shared a small smile together before turning to their assembled guests.</p>
<p>They spent some time greeting the guests and being congratulated as most guests came up to speak to them before everyone began to head over to the Burrow for the reception. Tonks and Remus waited until the last of the guests had gone on to the reception before they stepped out of the chapel together. Remus turned to her with a smile. He looked dazed, but happier than she had ever seen him. </p>
<p>“Well, we did that.” He said, which made Tonks giggle.</p>
<p>“We did!”</p>
<p>“My wife.” he said, looking at her with the same awestruck expression as he had when she walked down the aisle.</p>
<p>“My husband.” She echoed.</p>
<p>“Shall we head to the reception?” he asked, offering her his arm.</p>
<p>“Yes, let’s” she said, taking his arm.</p>
<p>They apparated to the Burrow, where they were greeted with a chorus of applause and another round of congratulations. Molly had outdone herself. Tonks looked around at the white ribbons tied around the fences and white tents set up in the field to provide cover for tables and tables of food laid out. </p>
<p>Tonks and Remus made their way over to Molly, greeting well-wishers as they went.</p>
<p>“Molly! This is too much! Its beautiful, but you’ve done too much!” Tonks said as she gave Molly a big hug.</p>
<p>“Oh please, I loved every second of it. I’m so happy for you two! You looked so in love during the ceremony.” Molly said, dabbing at her face with a tissue. She had clearly shed a few tears during the ceremony.</p>
<p>Remus and Tonks exchanged a look. They thanked Molly and continued making the rounds to chat with their guests</p>
<p>Remus was pulled away into a conversation with Bill and Charlie and Tonks lost sight of him. She was pulled in all different directions finding herself drawn into several different conversations. Eventually, she finished a conversation with Sturgis Podmore and went to the tents in search of Remus. </p>
<p>She found him with Molly, who apparently had been looking for her. Molly ushered them over to one of the tables to cut a truly magnificent wedding cake. Tonks and Remus cut the cake, to the cheers of several guests who had gathered around to watch, and each took a piece before the stepped away to let others get a piece, and to get some space to talk.</p>
<p>“Hey”</p>
<p>“Hey”</p>
<p>“Did you have fun with Bill and Charlie?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Oh yeah, lots of fun. They kept passing me glasses of booze. I think they’re determined to send me home absolutely sloshed tonight.” Remus told her with a goofy grin and unfocused eyes that made her think he was probably already halfway there.</p>
<p>Tonks was considering whether it was now her wifely duty to admonish him for overindulging when she was startled by Remus placing his hand on the small of her back. She glanced around to see who he was putting a show on for but found no one watching them especially closely. Still, she leaned into his embrace, cuddling up against his shoulder. They ate their cake slices in companionable silence, looking out at the gathering of their friends all enjoying themselves. Tonks was surprised at how dark it had gotten. Time really does fly when you’re having fun she mused.</p>
<p>Their quiet embrace was eventually interrupted by Tonk’s father, who came over to ask her for a dance. Tonks left Remus’ side to join her dad in the wide stretch of grass where people were dancing to Celestina Warbeck’s “It’s a good night for a dance”. </p>
<p>“I’m really glad you’re here, dad.” Tonks told him as they began to dance.</p>
<p>“Wouldn’t miss it for the world, love. You look so beautiful, and so happy.”</p>
<p>“I really am so happy. It’s hard to believe I’m married.”</p>
<p>“I still think that, and your mother and I have been married for twenty years.” Her father joked.</p>
<p>“Remus is a good man dad.”</p>
<p>“I know. I see that. If I hadn’t trusted his commitment to you before, I certainly believe it now. He looks at you like he can’t quite believe your real.”</p>
<p>Tonks smiled at that. She knew the expression her father was speaking of. Sometimes, even when they were just at home doing something menial, Tonks would catch him looking at her with that expression. Tonks supposed it was because he was still surprised that she had agreed to all this.</p>
<p>The song ended and moved on to a fast-paced song that left them both tripping over their own feet, a nice change since it was normally Tonks tripping over her feet by herself. Tonks danced with several other guests, and even Remus at one point. She had never seen him dance before, and he turned out to be absolutely terrible at it. He valiantly fumbled his way through one dance before disappearing again. Tonks admired his commitment, to even get through one dance, he seemed so uncomfortable. She was a hot commodity, it seemed, and was invited to dance by several more of their guests. Tonks thought she even saw Professor Dumbledore dancing at one point.</p>
<p>Eventually, it seemed that the night was winding down and Tonks stopped to say goodbye to some of the guests who were heading home. </p>
<p>At the drinks table, she found Charlie, Bill, and Remus drinking some more.</p>
<p>“So- So, she’s got her skirt up round her shoulders, and she says to me-“</p>
<p>Bill slapped Charlie on the shoulder and Charlie immediately stopped his story. Tonks raised an eyebrow at him. </p>
<p>“Are you two corrupting my husband?” she asked.</p>
<p>Remus gave her a crooked grin. “I think they are.” </p>
<p>Tonks turned to admonish the pair, only to find they had vanished, slipped off into the dwindling crowd. Tonks rolled her eyes.</p>
<p>“Annoyed with them for being a bad influence I hope, and not your new husband for his inability to say no to any drink offered to him?” Remus asked, though his tone suggested he was not at all worried that she was angry with him.</p>
<p>“You’re lucky you’re cute, you know. You’re drunk as a skunk.”</p>
<p>“Ha! Drunk as a skunk” Remus replied, before his expression shifted from a grin into an intensely focused expression. Tonks wondered for a moment if he was going to be sick, but instead he asked her, “Can I kiss you?”</p>
<p>“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” She told him gently.</p>
<p>“Why not?”</p>
<p>“You’re very drunk. I don’t want you to be sick on me.”</p>
<p>“I’m not that drunk. I promise I don’t feel sick.” He said, suddenly serious. “Please, one kiss. I want- just for a moment, let’s pretend.” He said in a voice so soft she almost couldn’t make them out. This was dangerous territory indeed.</p>
<p>Knowing this was probably a mistake Tonks leaned in and pressed her lips to his. Sirius’ words about not losing the plot echoed in her head. One kiss between friends on their fake-wedding night couldn’t be that bad could it? He might even be too drunk to remember it in the morning. </p>
<p>Their lips slid together tenderly. Remus’ hand came up to tangle in her hair and Tonks rested her hands on his hips. They kissed like that for a few long moments, softly. It was when Remus let out a soft sigh against her mouth that Tonks was reminded that he was probably too drunk to be making good decisions and so she should be twice as responsible. She pulled away from his embrace and stepped back.</p>
<p>“Let’s not lose the plot.” She told him, echoing Sirius’ phrasing to her.</p>
<p>“Sorry.” Remus told her, sobered by the reality of their situation perhaps. Maybe Sirius gave him the same speech that he gave her.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, but it’s probably time for us to leave anyways, most everyone else has gone” and they had, there were only a few guests still milling about, mostly Weasleys. </p>
<p>Tonks and Remus went together to say goodbye to her parents and the Weasleys and anyone else still remaining before the apparated back to the cottage, Tonks keeping a steady hold on Remus for fear he would splinch himself. Tonks let them in to the cottage and had to help Remus out of his shoes. She helped him to the bathroom and left him there to do whatever he needed to do to get ready for bed while she went in and changed for bed. It took a few minutes for her to extricate herself from the gown on her own. She carefully hung the dress back on its hanger in the spare room before returning to their bedroom for her pyjamas. Remus was apparently done in the bathroom because he was standing in the bedroom staring at her. </p>
<p>“Oh! Sorry!” he said, turning around and slapping one hand over his eyes. A gentleman even when drunk, she thought.</p>
<p>“It’s alright, I thought you would still be in the bathroom.” She told him, grabbing her pyjamas from under her pillow. “I’ll just change in the bathroom and get ready for bed, then I’ll be in.” She told him as she left the room.</p>
<p>She changed out of the lacy white undergarments in the bathroom and into a much more comfortable and safer outfit of a baggy t-shirt and drawstring pants. She went through her normal nighttime routine and then returned to the bedroom to climb into bed beside Remus. They lay there together in the dark for a few moments before Tonks spoke.</p>
<p>“We’re married.” She said, the words still sounding strange in her mouth.</p>
<p>“We are.” He said with the same amount of shock and awe. “Thank you. For doing this for me. With me. I couldn’t imagine anyone else.” He told her.</p>
<p>“What are friends for?” she replied.</p>
<p>He was silent so long Tonks wondered if she had upset him, if that was not what he wanted her to say. She glanced over at him but found that he had fallen asleep. She huffed and got comfortable, falling into an easy slumber.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Wedded Bliss?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter gave me a bit of trouble, not sure why. I'm not sure it achieves what I want it to.</p>
<p>Also, this chapter begins with the scene that made me increase the rating, so be warned! It's not terribly explicit but it is more than has been in previous chapters.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonks awoke cocooned in warmth. She was so comfortable she wanted this to last forever. She stretched languidly, finding the source of the warmth radiating from the solid mass behind her. Most of this warmth was quite nice, but there was something hard pressing into her lower back that felt like a burning brand. She wiggled her bottom around trying to shift the hard heat pressed against her but could not seem to improve the situation. She wiggled a little more at a different angle when suddenly two strong hands grasped her hips and Remus Lupin’s voice spoke to her, “Ah, Dora, don’t do that.”. His voice had a deeper, huskier quality to it that she had never heard before, and suddenly she was wide awake as she realized what situation she was in.</p>
<p>She rolled away and propped herself up on her elbow to look at him. She felt her face flood with embarrassment. She couldn’t believe she had just woken up with Remus’s hard on pressed against her. She couldn’t believe she had just been grinding against him like that. That wasn’t what she meant to do, but how was he to know? How was she ever going to live this down? She probably looked like a tart, rubbing up on him before she was even half-awake. </p>
<p>Remus seemed to be taking her reaction quite differently. He hurried to bunch some of the covers up into his lap to cover himself.  He looked horrified, and a little afraid.</p>
<p>“Sorry! Sorry! So sorry, Dora” He gasped out, flushing red. “I didn’t mean to!”</p>
<p>“No worries. It’s an early morning thing, I get it.” She said, trying to sound more nonchalant than she felt. “Sorry about- moving around and all-“he blushed darker, if that was possible, “I was still really out of it, was just trying to get comfortable.”</p>
<p>“It’s fine. I’m sorry.” Remus said.</p>
<p>“I’m just going to grab a shower and then I’ll get the coffee pot going okay?” she said, trying to infuse that statement with as much promise of privacy for whatever he wanted to do to sort himself out as possible.</p>
<p>Remus seemed to take her meaning. “I just need a minute or two to- erm- relax. I’ll be right out in just a second.” He told her hurriedly.</p>
<p>“Take your time, I don’t mind. Do you need the bathroom in the next ten minutes?” </p>
<p>“No, it’s all yours.” </p>
<p>“Okay then, I won’t be but a moment.” She said, grabbing some clothes from the dresser and heading for the bathroom, moving to shut the bedroom door as she went.</p>
<p>“Don’t” Remus’ voice stopped her.</p>
<p>She gave him a questioning look.</p>
<p>“I don’t want you to shut the door. I’ll be out in a second. I’m not- I’m not- doing anything.” He said nervously.</p>
<p>“Okay. No problem. I just want you to know, if you need privacy, let me know.”</p>
<p>He nodded his understanding and she slipped into the bathroom for her shower. All while she was showering and getting ready, she wondered why he was so fussed about her knowing he wasn’t going to wank. It wasn’t like it was a big deal. She never thought about it, but she supposed since he was always awake before her that he had plenty of time to take care of those sorts of needs in the shower before she got up. Oh well. There were bound to be awkward moments when two friends pretended to be a couple, they were lucky that this was the first awkward moment in weeks of living together. </p>
<p>When she was washed and dressed, she made her way out to the kitchen, where Remus had already started the coffee pot brewing and was whisking something up in a bowl. He avoided making eye contact with her.</p>
<p>“Mm mm smells good in here. Thanks for starting the coffee.”</p>
<p>“That’s alright. Can’t start slacking on breakfast duty now just because we’re married.” He joked.</p>
<p>“Wow. We are married.” She said in amazement, which got a smile out of him. “What are we having for breakfast on our first morning as a married couple?” </p>
<p>“I thought maybe crepes. We’ve got blueberries, raspberries, and strawberries, and whipped cream and pancake syrup, and chocolate chips.” He told her.</p>
<p>“Oh, see, I knew I made the right choice when I married you.” she said. She thought she’d overexaggerate her love of breakfast foods every day for the rest of this fake marriage if it would keep him smiling at her like that. “Can I help? What can I do?” </p>
<p>“Do you want to grab the toppings out of the fridge, and the cupboard?”</p>
<p>“Got it”</p>
<p>They worked together to prepare breakfast, occasionally sharing a small quip or two, but mostly working in companionable silence. When they sat down to eat though, Remus seemed ready to address some things he had apparently been building up the nerve to talk about.</p>
<p>“Will you let me apologise for a few things?” He asked.</p>
<p>“I’m sure you don’t need to, but I’ll allow it”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for this morning – “</p>
<p>“Please don’t be. I understand you aren’t fully in control of it. I don’t mind.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I’m sorry I had too much to drink last night. I didn’t mean for you to have to help me home.”</p>
<p> Tonks laughed. “That’s fine, it's your wedding reception! You're supposed to enjoy yourself. I’m glad you had fun. I had a great time. I know dancing isn’t your thing. Did you have a good time?”</p>
<p>“Yes, it was a great night. I’m sorry I didn’t dance more. It was good to catch up with everyone without the war looming over everyone’s heads.”</p>
<p>“Yeah it really was.” Tonks agreed.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry I asked to kiss you.” Remus continued, looking to her for her response to this. “It was wrong of me to push you. I shouldn’t have asked that of you. I was drunk but I still knew it was wrong.”</p>
<p>“Why did you ask to kiss me?” Tonks couldn’t deny she was confused by that request.</p>
<p>“I- I’m sorry. It was out of line. Its just- the ceremony was so beautiful, and everyone was so happy. They were so happy for us, and everyone kept wishing us well and congratulating me and talking about a lifetime of love and companionship and togetherness- I just- I wanted that, just for a moment. I wanted to pretend I had that.” He explained.</p>
<p>Tonks wasn’t sure how to respond to that. She had expected an evasive answer, or for him to blame it on the drink or something. She didn’t know what the right response was. She was saved by the arrival of the post, the clatter of several letters fluttering in through the mail slot onto the entryway rug. Remus jumped up to retrieve it, no doubt glad to escape for a moment.</p>
<p>Tonks was struck by the isolation and loneliness of Remus’ words. She thought that it must be a pretty accurate reflection of his life. His condition ruled pretty much every aspect of his life, controlling how people perceived him before he even opened his mouth. His condition controlled what he could do, where he could go, how he had to act. She thought of how Sirius had described him – starved for affection. She couldn’t imagine what life would be like if people feared your very presence for something you couldn’t control, who didn’t want to see your emotions for fear of you suddenly becoming violent, or to touch you for fear of contagion or disgust at the physical indicators of your condition. Tonks could go on to remarry for real after this, but for Remus, this may be his one and only shot at an experience like this. Real or not, Tonks could understand the desire to relish in it. </p>
<p>Tonks also wondered how much of Remus’ life was controlled by his own self-denial. He wanted to be liked by many people, so he watered himself down and packed up his emotions and desires into tiny little boxes that he tried never to open. Tonks wondered if he prevented himself from engaging in romantic relationships as much as women chose not to enter relationships with him. He was a complicated man, for certain. He had created many barriers for himself and around himself for his own protection and for the protection of others. Tonks wondered what it was like to live in fear of yourself.</p>
<p>However, Tonks also thought of Sirius’ warning. Don’t lose the plot. As much as Tonks wanted to use this fake marriage as a platform for providing Remus with the affection and attention that he lacked but so richly deserved, she needed to do what was kind for when she wasn’t his fake wife anymore. </p>
<p>She was drawn from her reverie by Remus taking a seat across from her again. </p>
<p>“Lots of mail addressed to both of us today. Well-wishers mostly I expect, but we should be prepared for ill-wishers as well.” He commented, as Tonks moved to examine some of the letters.</p>
<p>“Shall we each open a few and then swap them?” She asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, that works.” He said, voice trailing off as he read the names on some of the envelopes. “Wow, some of these are from my former students. And one from Harry!” </p>
<p>He immediately tore into the letter from Harry. Tonks found herself neglecting the letter in her hands in favour of watching the emotions pass across Remus face as he read the letter from Harry. </p>
<p>“It must have been strange, to not be able to tell Harry everything when you were his teacher.” She commented, struck by the longing on his face.</p>
<p>“Yeah. I told him I was friends with his parents at school pretty early on, but still, there was no way to really explain the magnitude of his parents’ importance in my life, the depth of our friendship, without freaking the poor kid out.” Remus said. “I remember- Harry was the first baby I ever held you know- I remember James bringing him round to Sirius’ flat where me and Sirius and Peter were waiting and showing him off. I thought he was just precious- Sirius and Peter weren’t sure if he looked more like a House Elf or Winston Churchill. Sirius and Peter had to go, but not me yet, and James just passed Harry off to me, like he trusted me with this precious little bit of life. Harry started to fuss and I wanted to give him back to James, he was so small and squirmy and important, but James just stroked Harry’s cheek and said ‘This here is your Uncle Remus, I know he seems like a boring sort, but eventually you’ll find he can be quite fun.’ Uncle Remus. When I repeated that back to him he just clapped me on the shoulder and said ‘Of course, you’ve always been a brother to me’ Like it was obvious.” Remus reminisced, pausing a moment before he continued. </p>
<p>“Uncle Remus – I quite liked that. Made me kind of emotional. James threatened to call me Aunt Remus if I cried though- which I did not I’ll have you know. But- I can’t quite explain it properly, what it meant for James to want his son to know me as Uncle Remus.” Remus told her. “I knew then, that baby was the closest thing I’d ever have to a son of my own, and then it was all gone, just like that, gone. The next time I saw Harry he was thirteen years old sitting across from me in a train carriage. The most familiar stranger I’d ever met.” </p>
<p>Tonks wasn’t sure what she could say in this moment. Everything coming to mind sounded like useless platitudes. She reached over and took one of his hands in hers, holding it tightly. “Time certainly makes a mess of things” she said. “It must be nice to have the chance to rebuild that relationship now that you’ve found each other again.” </p>
<p>“We haven’t been in contact as much as I’d like, and that’s my fault, I know. I’m not sure- I mean- He has Sirius, you know?” Remus told her. “I think, he probably prefers his godfather.”</p>
<p>“He can have both you know. He’s got two amazing uncles, his love for Sirius doesn’t mean he doesn’t want or need you in his life.” </p>
<p>“Thank you. I know that, intellectually- but-” Remus paused as he looked for the right words, “I just- it’s funny, I took to it much better when he was a baby, I was much more comfortable holding a baby and changing nappies and talking to him in the funny voices the way babies like, it was Sirius who was so out of his depth then. Now, the tables have turned, and I’m the one who doesn’t know what to do or say and it comes so naturally to him.”</p>
<p>Tonks nodded in understanding. She had no friends with children, so she had no experience with which to connect to Remus on this issue.</p>
<p>They returned to reading their letters. Harry’s letter was very sweet, Tonks thought, when she got to read it. Full of the awkwardness of a fifteen-year-old boy who found the romantic entanglements of adults to be foreign and somewhat embarrassing, the kid had done his best to show support for his former teacher and to wish him well. Dean Thomas had drawn a truly spectacular image of all the fifth-year Gryffindor students smiling and holding their thumbs up. Remus smiled when she showed him the picture, and he took the drawing to stand it up on the mantle over the fireplace. </p>
<p>There were a few letters in the mix which were not supportive, but Remus and Tonks made a separate pile of those, and then took great pleasure in taking turns tossing them into the fire. When the last of these hate letters was in the fire, they sat together on the couch to watch them burn. There was something perversely romantic about the moment, she thought, as she curled up against his side watching the fire, watching the parchment curl and turn to ash. </p>
<p>Tonks rested her head on his shoulder and after a moment he brought his hand up to stroke her hair. They sat together like that for a few comfortable minutes, before the last vestiges of the letters were nothing but ash.</p>
<p>A bit later, Remus invited her to Fortescue’s for ice cream. It was strange, and sweet, the way he had asked her. She could imagine him showing up on her doorstep at her old apartment like a new suitor, when in reality he was her fake-but legal husband and they were sitting in their sitting room, in the house they lived in together. </p>
<p>Tonks was walking hand in hand with Remus down the streets of Diagon Alley, each of them enjoying an ice cream cone. Tonks didn’t really have a favourite flavour of ice cream, she liked to try new ones all the time. This time, she had one scoop of strawberry mango explosion and one scoop of birthday cake. It was an interesting combination, an explosion of colour. Remus had snorted with laughter when he saw her ice cream cone with its pink and yellow and rainbow sprinkles, but would not elaborate on why, though she had dug her fingers into his sides until he squirmed away, demanding to know. Remus had chosen Death by Chocolate and Fudge Brownie Bomb, which made Tonks smile. It was a very Remus choice, she thought, which was perhaps what he had been thinking when he laughed at her choice.</p>
<p>She would have thought they were completely mad, if someone a month ago had told her she would be strolling down Diagon Alley on a Sunday Afternoon enjoying an ice cream cone hand in hand with her husband, Remus Lupin. The idea would have been utterly ludicrous, but now seemed quite a normal, comfortable arrangement. She remembered her shock on the day Dumbledore had informed her of the plan. She should have known that it would not be as difficult as she had imagined then, Remus was already a good friend even then, and it was nice to have company to come home to.</p>
<p>They received a few odd looks sure, but Tonks wasn’t sure if that was because people knew he was a werewolf and were judging them, or if it was just because Remus looked like a bookish professor in his grey sweater vest and grey trousers, and Tonks had a mint green pixie cut and a bright purple Weird Sisters tee and ripped up jeans. They were a bit of an odd couple, visually, she knew.</p>
<p>Tonks realized that it was probably very smart, for their cover, to be seen in such a public space as Diagon Alley on a weekend, celebrating their marriage. She supposed that that was why Remus had suggested it. She felt a little silly that she had hardly been thinking about the plan today. It felt almost completed, now that they were married, but of course they still needed to make it look real. Tonks looked around as she began to chew on the waffle cone her ice cream was contained in, noticing for the first time that she could pick out a few ministry employees milling about. It was a good day to demonstrate their cover.</p>
<p>It was when Tonks had finished her ice cream cone, long after Remus, and with a great deal of mess, that she made a mistake. Tonks ended up with sticky ice cream all over her fingers, and even running down her arm, as she finished the cone. Remus looked bemused and handed her some napkins, because of course Remus stored napkins in his pockets. She grinned at him unashamed and cleaned herself up. </p>
<p>“Ta, thanks for the napkins.” She told him. Then she leaned in and whispered in his ear, “this was a clever way to confirm our cover. Nice idea.” </p>
<p>When she pulled back, however, Remus did not return her grin. He instead looked confused, and maybe even a little…hurt? She hadn’t sounded condescending when she told him it was a good idea, had she? She could tell she had said the wrong thing, gone and put her foot in her mouth like always, but the problem was, she wasn’t sure what she had said that upset him, or why it upset him. </p>
<p>“Shall we take a peek inside Flourish and Blotts? I know you said you’ve been waiting for the new Julian Crenshaw book to come out.” Tonks suggested, recalling this tidbit of information she had learned when she had asked him what he was reading one evening. “Maybe you can read it to me? So that we can read it at the same time”</p>
<p>Remus’ smile was back as they headed into the bookstore together. They searched the new arrivals table but did not find the new Julian Crenshaw novel. Remus looked disappointed. </p>
<p>“Oh well, another time I guess.” He said, shrugging.</p>
<p>“I thought it was supposed to be out now, though” she said.</p>
<p>“It is, but I guess it’s sold out or they haven’t decided to stock it here.” </p>
<p>“Why don’t we ask?”</p>
<p>“Why would we do that? We can see it’s not here.”</p>
<p>“There might be more copies in the back. Come one, let’s go ask.”</p>
<p>“Oh no, we don’t need to, let’s not be any trouble.”</p>
<p>“trouble? Remus don’t be ridiculous. They want you to buy things. Let’s just ask.”</p>
<p>“No, I don’t want to.”</p>
<p>“Fine, I’ll ask.” Tonks said, and promptly set off in search of a sales associate.</p>
<p>She found someone and asked after the book. The sales associate headed to the back to see if there were more copies and Tonks shot a look at Remus across the store. He was still hovering around the new arrivals table. She’d never met anyone so apologetic for their own existence.</p>
<p>When the sales associate returned with a copy of the book that they were looking for Tonks felt victorious. She thanked the sales associate, held the book up in triumph in Remus’ direction and headed to the counter to buy it. </p>
<p>Remus appeared at her shoulder. “Don’t you dare try to pay for this.” He told her.</p>
<p>Tonks rolled her eyes and started counting the coins out from her coin purse anyways, but Remus beat her to it, passing over a handful of coins to the sales associate.</p>
<p>“You’re 3 sickles short, dude.” The sales associate said, counting the coins and looking at Remus and his shabby clothes in disdain.</p>
<p>Tonks handed over the three sickles immediately, silencing Remus’ protests with a look. “We’re married now, you know, half of everything I own belongs to you now and vice versa.”</p>
<p>Remus looked uncomfortable the whole time Tonks was finishing the transaction and they were leaving the store.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. I thought I would have enough for the book.” Remus told her, looking small.</p>
<p>“No worries, what’s mine is yours, like I said. You paid for both ice creams earlier. And I really meant it when I asked if you’d read to me, so the book is really for both of us.” Tonks told him, which seemed to appease him.</p>
<p>They continued to wander about when they were stopped by a voice calling her name from a short distance away. Turning around, Tonks immediately recognized the voice of her ex, Duncan Wallace. She cringed; this could be awkward. Duncan was a tall, well-polished man with slicked back black hair and an expensive looking, preppy outfit. Tonks had always known he was an elitist, but his swagger had intrigued her at one point. Until he cheated on her with not one but two of his colleagues, and a girl he met at a club. He was a prize jerk.</p>
<p>“Tonks! Fancy running into you! How are you? It’s been a while!” Duncan said, immediately pulling her in for a lingering hug, his hands resting a little too low on her waist. She could physically feel Remus shifting beside her even though she could not see him. </p>
<p>Tonks pulled back. “Wotcher, Duncan. It’s nice to see you. I’m doing well thanks. How have you been?” </p>
<p>“Oh, blimey, I’ve been fantastic, been promoted since we last talked, did you know? Yes, head of department now. I’m better for seeing you again.” Duncan told her; his usual peacocking topped with shameless flirting. She used to find it endlessly attractive but now it made her skin crawl.</p>
<p>Remus shifted beside her. A glance at his face showed he was looking none-too-happy, he caught her looking at him and relaxed his expression.</p>
<p>Duncan looked to Remus as well, following her gaze and his movement. “Oh, hello. Didn’t see you there. I’m Duncan Wallace, who are you?”</p>
<p>“This is Remus, my- my husband.” Tonks said by way of introduction, hating the way she stumbled over the title and how it made Remus jaw tighten.</p>
<p>“Husband? Really?” Duncan asked incredulously, looking at Remus with no small amount of disdain.</p>
<p>“Yes, really.” Tonks snapped, not appreciating his tone. “We were married yesterday actually” She moved to wrap her arm around Remus’ waist.</p>
<p>“Well. Congratulations to you both.” Duncan said.</p>
<p>“Thank you. We were just leaving. Come on, love.” Remus said curtly. </p>
<p>“Yes. Right. Well, congratulations on your nuptials. It was good to see you again, Tonks.” Duncan said, giving her a lingering look before he walked away.</p>
<p>“Bye, Duncan” Tonks said as they parted ways.</p>
<p>Remus placed his hand on the small of her back and practically guided her back down the street towards the Leaky and home. He looked tense and unhappy and Tonks found herself irritated by it. She did not say anything though, until they had flooed home. </p>
<p>“You can drop that sour look, you know.” She rounded on him immediately once they had stepped into the sitting room.</p>
<p>“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He grumbled.</p>
<p>“Oh please! Your expression could curdle milk.” She told him. “I don’t know why you don’t trust me. I’m not going to screw up the whole plan just because I say hi to an ex-boyfriend.” </p>
<p>Remus looked confused. “What? What makes you think this has anything to do with the plan?”</p>
<p>This stopped the speech Tonks was preparing for how good she was at undercover operations normally. If that wasn’t what this was about, why did he look so sour?</p>
<p>“Well what the hell is this about?”</p>
<p>“Nothing. I’m sorry. None of my business.”</p>
<p>“I don’t understand you Remus. I don’t know what you want from me.” She told him, exasperated.</p>
<p>“I don’t know either.” He told her, looking weary. “I need the lav.” He said abruptly when she opened her mouth to ask what the hell that was supposed to mean. She saw right through his escape tactic as he locked himself in the bathroom like a coward.</p>
<p>She placed the book they had bought on one of the end tables by the couch and sat down with a huff. She tried to replay the conversation in her head, figure out what had been done or said that offended him. A strange thought crept into her head, but once it was there, she had a hard time making it leave. Was it possible that Remus had been…jealous? No. The idea was too ridiculous to entertain. This was a pretend relationship and so he had no right to be jealous of her ex-boyfriend. He must be insulted by Duncan’s shock that her and Remus were married. He had made it obvious he thought them an unlikely couple.</p>
<p>Eventually, Remus returned from the bathroom and took a seat at the other end of the couch. </p>
<p>“So, I’m guessing Duncan is an ex-boyfriend of yours?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Yes. We dated when I was still in auror training about three or four years ago now. He cheated on me with at least three different women, that I know of. He’s a prize jerk, but I try not to hold grudges.” Tonks told him.</p>
<p>Remus’ posture seemed to relax slightly. “I’m sorry. That’s a terrible way to treat someone you’re in a relationship with.”</p>
<p>“It was a long time ago, I developed much better taste in men since then.” She told him, trying to shrug it off. It had devastated her at the time, but they had been young and immature and not really ready for true commitment anyways, it would never have lasted even if he was faithful.</p>
<p>There was a beat of silence where Tonks could feel a shroud of awkwardness creeping in around them that she was desperate to avoid. “Do you want to start your book? Maybe you could read the first chapter to me before we start on dinner?” she asked, glancing at her watch and seeing it was just past five in the evening.</p>
<p>“Yeah? You don’t have to listen to it if you aren’t interested.” Remus said.</p>
<p>“I want to listen. If you don’t mind reading aloud.”</p>
<p>“I’d like that.” </p>
<p>He looked so boyishly pleased that she couldn’t help but smile at him. She passed him the book from the end table, and he opened it up and began to read. His voice was so even and calming that Tonks was really glad she’d made this suggestion. He had a very good voice for reading aloud, putting just enough inflection in his voice for it to be interesting without being theatrical. Tonks eventually shifted to lie down on the couch, with her head on the arm rest and her feet draped over Remus, half in his lap half on the arm rest. She was embarrassed some time later when he had to wake her for dinner, but he didn’t seem to mind. </p>
<p>For the most part, the comfortable companionship between them seemed to be restored for the rest of the evening. They cooked side by side, ate together, and Remus read another chapter to her before they decided to retire for the night.</p>
<p>It was when they were both lying in bed that night that Tonks felt like maybe there was something lingering between them. Remus lay about as far away from her as he could without being blatant about it. Tonks wasn’t sure what to make of it, but she did know that she was freezing. November chills had crept up that evening apparently, and Tonks found their bed to be an icy prison. Remus was like a mini space heater all the time and had been keeping her warm, so she hadn’t noticed how cold the nights had been getting lately, she noted.</p>
<p>Tonks wasn’t sure what was responsible for Remus distancing himself tonight. If he was still cross with her for something, she didn’t think he would be amenable to moving closer. Another thought sprouted in her mind though, that perhaps he had gotten over whatever had annoyed him earlier, and that this distancing instead had more to do with this morning than this afternoon. She decided she would play the odds.</p>
<p>“Remus?” she whispered.</p>
<p>She heard him shifting. “Yeah?”</p>
<p>“I’m cold.” She whispered back.</p>
<p>“Do you want a heating charm?”</p>
<p>“No, they never last. I’ll just wake up cold in the early hours when it wears off.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” “How can I help, then?”</p>
<p>“Will you come closer? You keep me warm.”</p>
<p>“Oh. Okay.” The sheets rustled as he inched slightly closer. Not close enough.</p>
<p>“If you’re worried about… something like this morning, you needn’t be. But you can keep your back to me if that will make you more comfortable.” She whispered, hoping she hadn’t misread the reason for his distancing.</p>
<p>There was a slight pause as he thought about this, before Remus shifted closer to her again, this time close enough for her to feel his body heat but kept his back to her. Tonks scooted slightly closer to him, until she was pressing lightly against him. She waited to see if he would object, but he only let out a contented sigh.</p>
<p>“Good night, Dora.” He whispered, the ghost of a smile in his voice.</p>
<p>“Good night, Remus.”</p>
<p>And, feeling toasty warm, she slept.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>I made up the names of the author Remus likes and Tonks' ex-boyfriend, they do not represent real people!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. This is pretend! Isn't it?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Warning! This chapter contains some violence and degrading, derogatory language, including curse words. Nothing too severe, but just a heads up!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For a few days after that, Remus and Tonks managed to live peacefully together. Tonks had chosen not to take any time off of work after the wedding, so she was back at work on Monday. She received some congratulations and some muttered comments she preferred not to hear, but overall life did not change that much. Remus and Tonks established a nice routine where Remus would read to her for a little while each night before bed. He had returned to waking up earlier than her, so there had been no repeats of Sunday morning and Remus seemed to have moved on from the awkward experience. </p><p>It was a Wednesday when things all went to hell. Tonks was never sure, if it had just been one event or the other, if things would not have gone the way they did, or if it would have always had that outcome. As it was, two bad things occurred at work that day. </p><p>The first bad thing to occur that day happened as soon as she reached her cubicle. She had barely hung up her outer robes when Scrimgeour’s voice boomed across the cubicles. </p><p>“Tonks!”</p><p>“Yes Sir!”</p><p>“My office!”</p><p>Tonks dutifully followed him down the hall towards his office, feeling a strange sense of déjà vu. She hoped it would not be as bad as the last time she had been called into the boss’s office. They entered the room and Scrimgeour closed the door behind her. At first, it seemed as though Tonks’ hope was to be realized, there was no imposing figure seated in the other chair and so hopefully this meeting would not be about her marriage. </p><p>That hope died a terrible death when the fireplace roared to life and a truly foreboding figure emerged from it. Not in stature, but in reputation.</p><p>“Hem hem.” </p><p>Oh, Merlin help her, Dolores Umbridge had just stepped from the fireplace and was now staring them down with that terrifyingly fake smile. </p><p>“Good morning, Rufus, could we please have the room?” she asked, in a tone which suggested there was no option for refusal. Scrimgeour did not look pleased, but he stepped out of his own office and disappeared down the hall.</p><p>“Good morning. Nymphadora Tonks, isn’t it?”</p><p>“Good morning. Ah, Nymphadora Lupin, now. I got married over the weekend.” Tonks responded, the name sounding strange in her mouth. She was quite certain Umbridge already knew this piece of information.</p><p>“Oh, yes, I heard a rumour. I had hoped, of course, that I was mistaken.”</p><p>“What do you want? Why am I here?” Tonks bristled at Umbridge’s tone, she wanted to cut to the chase here.</p><p>“hem hem. Well, Mrs. Lupin, I am sure you are aware that the Ministry of Magic stands as a beacon of respect and admiration to the Wizarding community. We here at the Ministry seek to serve and protect the Wizarding community in Britain and abroad by demonstrating only the finest characteristics for society.”</p><p>“Yes, I know the Ministry of Magic’s credo.” Tonks said, not liking where this was going.</p><p>“And you agree then, that every Ministry of Magic employee, as representatives of the Ministry, should uphold its values, don’t you?” sugary sweet but laced with poison, Tonks could see Umbridge’s words were leading her into a trap.</p><p>“To an extent.” Tonks said shortly. “What’s your point?”</p><p>“hem hem. Might I remind you that I am Senior Undersecretary to the Minister?”</p><p>“Might I remind you I do not work for your department? I am an auror.”</p><p>“For now.”</p><p>“What’s that supposed to mean?”</p><p>“Well, Mrs. Lupin” she placed undue emphasis on this title, “We cannot have Ministry employees who blatantly disregard the Ministry’s beliefs and who work to undermine its efforts at creating a safer, more civilized society.”</p><p>“I see. What have I done that has inspired you to threaten my job?”</p><p>“Isn’t it obvious?”</p><p>“No.”</p><p>“You’re marriage to the half-breed. It is the Ministry of Magic’s position that werewolves are a dangerous beast, classification level XXXX. How do you imagine it looks, for a Ministry of Magic employee, tasked with preserving peace and order and protecting the safety of Britain’s magical citizens, to be married to a dangerous sub-human?”</p><p>“I think it looks like I have married the man I love. I think it looks like werewolves are also classified as Beings and are thus entitled to the same rights and freedoms as anyone else. I think it looks like none of your business.” Tonks spat back.</p><p>“Now, Now, Mrs. Lupin, this is conduct unbecoming of an auror.” Umbridge said, another sickly-sweet smile spreading across her face. “we wouldn’t want to see you jeopardize your position here, would we?”</p><p>“You can’t threaten my job. I haven’t done anything against Ministry regulations.” Tonks said, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. </p><p>“Current ministry regulations. Regulations can be changed.”</p><p>Tonks did not know how to respond. Umbridge was right, Tonks was aware of the regulations she was putting into place at Hogwarts, it would be that much easier to do at the Ministry. She might be out of a job. Umbridge seemed to have sensed victory.</p><p>“Well, those are just some things to think about. Hem hem. I better return to Hogwarts, there is much to be done there to bring it up to standards.” She said, stepping back into the fire and disappearing in a burst of green flames.</p><p>Tonks stood alone in the empty office for several long moments before returning to her desk. She spent the next several hours attempting to fill out one report, writing the same three sentences over and over, each time making a stupid mistake and needing to start from the beginning. She felt like she was in a fog. Her whole life she had dreamed of being an auror, had trained and prepared for it. She couldn’t imagine doing anything else. She didn’t want to lose her job, but there was no way she was backing out now and letting Remus down.</p><p>It was just before she was going to get ready to leave for the day that the second bad event of the day occurred. It happened that Tonks and Dawlish were called out at the last minute, needed urgently to respond to a call. Dawlish was already annoyed, Tonks knew this was his poker night, and a last-minute call out with her was not doing anything to improve his mood.</p><p>The pair apparated to the indicated apparition point. A chilly November fog enveloped the streets as the sun was already beginning to set on the horizon. It was the perfect sort of evening to be curled up on the couch with a cuppa and Remus reading to her, she thought. </p><p>The reason for this call-out was ‘suspicious activity’, which was never good. This could mean anything from an overly paranoid old woman suspicious dark wizards were performing dark rituals with milk and that’s why her milk delivery was late, to trolls wandering in from the west country. The unpredictability of the calls made them difficult to prepare for. </p><p>The pair of aurors made their way up the street towards the address identified in the complaint. At first glance, the house appeared un-occupied, with no lights on and an overgrown garden. Dawlish pounded on the front door for several minutes while Tonks observed the surrounding area from her position behind him. The neighborhood was in a rougher part of town, not well-kept in general, but she could see lights on in some of the surrounding houses, so it was occupied. No signs of the caller watching them from a nearby window, or any signs of the suspicious activity they were supposed to be responding to. Looked like a false alarm. The auror department got several prank calls a week, so this was not an unusual occurance.</p><p>Tonks and Dawlish knocked on nearby doors and spoke to neighbours, none of whom had seen or heard anything out of the ordinary or knew anything about the call. Of course.</p><p>Tonks was moving to approach the last house nearby before putting it down as a false report, when Dawlish stopped her. </p><p>“Let’s just leave, it’s pretty clear it’s a prank call.”</p><p>“We can’t leave until we’ve spoken to everyone in the vicinity, let’s just check in with this last house and then we can leave.” She wasn’t going to cut any corners now that she knew her job was on the line.</p><p>“Well we don’t need two aurors for that. If you want to waste more of your evening chasing shadows, you go ahead. I’m leaving.” And with that, Dawlish stormed off down the road in the direction of the apparition point.</p><p>Tonks sighed. Why did he have to be such a pain? She wasn’t going to give Umbridge the satisfaction of doing less than Ministry regulations laid out, so she continued up to the front door and spoke to the homeowners. Predictably, the occupants knew nothing, hadn’t seen or heard anything, didn’t know who called. Tonks finished up her questions, thanked them for their time, and set off in the direction of the apparition point.</p><p>She had only made it a few houses down, the walk seemed much longer now that she was doing it alone and in almost complete darkness, when she got the overwhelming sense that something was wrong. Her skin crawled and she felt extremely unsettled, but a cursory glance around her did not reveal anything to be worried about. She continued walking but kept her wand gripped tightly in her hand in case she needed it. </p><p>It was as she went around a bend in the road that it happened. Cloaked figures stepped out of the shadows and surrounded her before she even had time to raise her wand. The figures began to shove her around, each assailant shoving her in the direction of another assailant, like some kind of twisted game of hot potato, but with enough force to surely bruise. Then the taunting began.</p><p>“werewolf’s bitch!”</p><p>“whore!”</p><p>“Bestiatlity is a sin! And a crime!”</p><p>“Where’s the big bad wolf now, huh?!”</p><p>Someone threw a punch that connected with the left side of her jaw. Someone else delivered a sharp kick to her right shin. Another punch to the left side of her jaw left her tasting blood. A flurry of kicks was delivered to her legs and fists hit her in the face and torso at increasing speed. Tonks felt dizzy, she could feel the hits and hear their taunts, but everything was a flurry of movement and dark clothing and she could not raise her wand. She tried to shove her way away from the group of assailants. She managed to connect an elbow with something soft and was able to raise her wand.</p><p>“Expulso!” she cried, a burst of magic shooting forth from her wand, knocking the assailants in front and to the sides of her back and onto the ground. </p><p>The attacker behind her grabbed her by her arms, trying to pin her arms behind her. Tonks struggled to regain use of her wand arm, even as the attackers started to rise from the ground, moving this time to take away her wand. Before she could be overcome again, she managed to cast one more charm, a warning alarm spell that would signal back up at auror headquarters. Tonks did not know if the night shift team would have clocked on yet, but she hoped so. </p><p>“How does a girl from good pureblood stock like you fall so low as to let some filthy half-breed have his way with you?” the attacker holding her arms back asked, their breath sour.</p><p>“Let me go! I’m an auror! You’ll be arrested for this!” Tonks spat, struggling to free herself. </p><p>She performed a series of elbow jabs and swift kicks to disentangle herself from the attacker holding onto her, spinning away so she had some space between her and her assailants. Facing them now, she could see that there were four of them, dressed in hooded robes so that she could not make out their faces. Tonks held up her wand in their direction as a deterrent from approaching. Each assailant held up their own wand in her direction. Four against one. She had faced worse odds. For now, they were in a stalemate, neither side making the first move.</p><p>Tonks could feel her heart beating so hard she thought it might come through her chest. Damn Dawlish for leaving her here alone. Damn Umbridge for making her worried about her job. Tonks hoped someone was at the office to receive her distress call and that they would get here shortly.</p><p>“What’s it like being a werewolf’s bitch? I bet you like it rough. Like some pain with your pleasure, do you?” one of the assailants taunted while the others made obscene gestures and cat calls.</p><p>“What do you see in that worthless beast?”</p><p>Tonks was not going to dignify these degrading, hateful comments with a reply, but thankfully she did not have time to respond even if she wanted to, because there were shouts and flashes of blinding lights, and in a whirl of activity Tonks suddenly found her attackers being subdued by a team of fellow aurors. </p><p>“Boy am I glad to see you all” Tonks said to the aurors who had arrived on scene.</p><p>“Are you alright?” one asked.</p><p>“Yes. Yes. Minor injuries, this lot just jumped me when I was on my way to the apparition point.” Tonks explained.</p><p>“Where is your partner?”</p><p>“he left ahead of me. I stayed behind to ask a few more questions.” Tonks explained, already aware that this would probably lead to trouble for Dawlish. He had broken protocol by leaving her behind. </p><p>“We’ll take this lot back to the Ministry for questioning. We’ll need your statement though.” One of the aurors said.</p><p>“Of course. Can I just give my statement here? I’d really like to be heading home. My husband will be worried.” Tonks said, thinking that Remus would probably be extremely upset when he learned how her day had gone. </p><p>One of the aurors stayed behind to take her statement. Tonks felt strange being on the other side of these questions. She could feel exhaustion setting in. On top of that, she could tell she was going to be covered in bruises tomorrow, and she was aware of a warm wetness at her mouth that made her think she probably had a split lip as well. She must look a fright, she should probably go somewhere to clean up first, but she found that all she really wanted right now was Remus. Remus with his warm, soothing voice and perfectly made cups of tea or cocoa, Remus who would know how to apply healing salve as gently as possible, Remus who always made her feel safe and cared for. </p><p>Finally, Tonks had finished with her statement and was escorted to the apparition point. From there, she was very relieved to apparate into the front garden of her and Remus’ house. Remus was opening the front door even before she reached it. </p><p>“Dora! You’re home late, I was worried-“ Remus started, and Tonks watched his face shift as he looked at her with horror. “Oh Merlin, what happened?! Are you alright? Come inside so I can see.”</p><p>Tonks followed him inside, feeling like a zombie as he helped her out of her coat and boots and led her to sit in one of the chairs at the table in the sitting room.</p><p>“I’ll just go get our first aid supplies; you just sit here.” He told her, hurrying off down the hall.</p><p>Tonks wanted to tell him there was no rush, that it wasn’t serious, but couldn’t make her mouth form the words. </p><p>Remus returned to sit in front of her on another chair. He placed their basket of medical supplies as well as a cloth and bowl of water on the table next to them. </p><p>“I’m just going to clean that lip up first, alright?” he asked, waiting for her to nod her approval before he very gently began to dab at her lip and chin with the cloth, carefully clearing away the blood. Tonks was grateful that he did not ask her what happened while he worked, instead focusing on the task at hand and giving her time to think.</p><p>“Are there any other cuts I should know about? Is just your face hurt?” he asked.</p><p>“I think it’s just bruising, but that’s pretty much all over.” Tonks admitted.</p><p>Remus nodded, looking the picture of calm except for the way she could see his jaw clenched.</p><p>“I’m going to put a little bit of this salve on your lip, okay?” He told her, again waiting for her acknowledgement before he applied the salve, which stung and made her hiss, which in turn made Remus look terribly guilty. </p><p>She had been looking forward to Remus’ caretaking before she got here, but now she found his worry to be irritating. She tried to push his hands aside.</p><p>“Enough, Remus.”</p><p>“Sorry, did I hurt you?” he asked with genuine concern. </p><p>“No, I just want to have a shower.”</p><p>“Okay, that’s probably a good idea. Is there anything I can do to help?”</p><p>“Merlin, Remus just leave me alone! I’m not going to let you follow me into the shower. You’ll have to try harder if you want to cop a feel.” She said nastily, hating that she was taking her frustration and fear out on him but unable to stop herself.</p><p>Remus flinched. “I wasn’t trying to-“ he broke off and appeared to be choosing his next words very carefully. “I’m sorry. Of course, you don’t need my help. I’ll just be out here. Shout if you need anything, I’ll get the kettle going for when you get out. A cup of tea to calm the nerves. Okay?”</p><p>Tonks nodded shortly and went for her shower. Standing under the hot shower spray helped ease some of her aches and pains as well as some of her troubled thoughts. She checked herself over, examining the sore places that were sure to bruise. She found no significant injuries, at least. Tonks knew she would need to apologize to Remus, and to tell him about everything that had happened today. She had the strong feeling that he would not take the news well.</p><p>As much as she may have wanted to, Tonks knew she couldn’t hide under the shower spray forever, and so reluctantly she left the warm safety of the shower and changed into her comfiest pajamas before heading out to the kitchen.</p><p>Remus was pacing back and forth in the kitchen, worry etched across his face which he disguised when he noticed her entering the room. </p><p>“Sorry, Remus. I didn’t mean to snap at you.”</p><p>“Don’t even worry about it, you’ve had a difficult experience.”</p><p>Tonks nodded. Yes, a difficult experience indeed. She appreciated that Remus did not push her to speak further as they stood shoulder to shoulder and prepared their tea the way they liked. Not even when they sat together on the couch did he ask. Instead, he gave her the space to decide how she wanted to start to discuss it.</p><p>When Tonks was ready, she told him everything that had happened that day. He did not interrupt her, but she could see him clench and unclench his fists and she could see the pained expression he was trying to keep neutral. She tried to leave out much of what her assailants had said, but could not lie to him, she had to be honest about the general nature of what they had said. </p><p>“I’m so sorry Dora. I’m so sorry.” Remus said, his voice thick with emotion.</p><p>“It’s not like its your fault. People are just shitty.”</p><p>“But it is my fault. I have brought this upon you.”</p><p>“No it’s not. I would agree with you if you said this is Umbridge’s fault. I would agree with you if you said this is the Beast Division’s fault. I would agree with you if you said it was prejudiced, small-minded people’s fault.”</p><p>“They- they are broader actors, you can’t change beliefs like that that run so deep, but you can avoid giving them reason to fall back on those prejudices. I should have known- I’m not right for you, even in this false marriage- I’m not husband material.”</p><p>“And why not? Oh, let me guess, you are too old, too poor, too dangerous? We’ve had this argument before! I’ve already told you how I feel about this, I’ve already told you that it isn’t your fault.”</p><p>“How can you not see that this is my fault? How can you not see that I’ve brought this on you?”</p><p>“Oh please, Remus, not this again. You are not responsible for this. Prejudice and small-minded people are responsible for this.”</p><p>“I have condemned you. We should never have gotten married. Things won’t improve for me and now I have dragged you down.” Remus did not seem to even see her anymore; he was so lost in his anguish.</p><p>“Damn you, Remus! I make my own decisions! I chose to go along with this plan, I chose to marry you! I knew the risks, and I did it anyway! If I had to decide again, I would still marry you!”</p><p>“How can you say that? Look what they’ve done to you! I’ve cost you your job, your safety, and I can offer you nothing worthwhile in return!”</p><p>“First of all, we don’t know that I’ve lost my job. Second, tonight could have been avoided if I had taken better precautions or if Dawlish had followed protocol or if that part of town hadn’t had apparition restrictions or- or- or! There are so many what ifs, Remus! Most importantly, you offer me plenty in return! Your friendship, your company has come to mean a lot to me over these last few weeks. I wouldn’t change that for anything.” Tonks told him, feeling the truth of her words settle in her chest as she said them. Remus had come to mean so much to her, more than she realized before they had begun this plan.</p><p>“But Dora, you should hate me-“</p><p>“I’m not going to stand here and have you telling me how to feel, Remus!” she could feel her frustration and anger building. She didn’t want to say something she would later regret, so she tried to slow her breathing and relax. “I mean it when I tell you that you will never be able to make me see you as anything less than an amazing man. I won’t stand here and have this same too poor, too old, too dangerous argument with you. I’m really tired. I’m going to go stay at Grimmauld with Sirius tonight, I’ll talk to you in the morning.” Tonks told him.</p><p>“Wait, Dora, please don’t leave.” Remus said, distraught.</p><p>“I think it’s better if we both get some space. I’ll see you in the morning.” Tonks told him.</p><p>She stepped into the floo and headed to Grimmauld. It was as she was stepping out of the fire into the dark, empty kitchen that she thought to look at her watch and saw it was now almost nine in the evening. A little late for a house call, but hopefully Sirius wouldn’t mind. Hopefully he also wouldn’t mind letting her spend the night with no notice.</p><p>“Dora?” Sirius asked, sounding worried, as he entered the kitchen. Oh right, her face must still look a fright, and she was in her pajamas.</p><p>“Hi Sirius. Any room at the inn?” she asked.</p><p>“Come sit down. Dora, what happened? Are you alright? Where’s Remus?” Sirius asked, taking her gently by the arm and guiding her to a seat. </p><p>“He’s fine. He’s at home. We’ve had a fight” she said.</p><p>Sirius looked startled and horrified by these words and Tonks hurried to explain. “No- I mean- it’s not how it looks. I got hurt when I was out on a call at work this evening, and then Remus and I had an argument when I got home. He was upset, about this-“ she gestured to her face. “because the people who attacked me did it because I am married to a werewolf.”</p><p>“You better start from the beginning.” Sirius said, taking a seat across from her. </p><p>So Tonks did, she started at the very beginning and recounted her meeting with Umbridge and the threat to her job, the mission and Dawlish leaving her behind and the group attacking her. This time she did not water down what they had said and told Sirius all of the terrible names they had called her. Then she talked about Remus’ reaction when she got home and the fight they had just had.</p><p>“So, can I stay here tonight?” she asked, feeling vulnerable.</p><p>“Of course, you are always welcome here.” Sirius said. “but we need to talk about this fight with Remus.”</p><p>“Do we need to? Can’t we just leave it?”</p><p>“No can do, little cousin, sorry.” Sirius said, his tone apologetic. “Remus is a complicated man. He expects the worst in almost every situation. He thinks it’s his lot in life to be mistreated. There’s a reason for all his fears and for his doom and gloom outlook though, the man has been through a lot. The world has not proven itself to be a kind place for him. He has more evidence to support the negative outlook than the positive one.”</p><p>“I understand that, I do, but he’s so- so- patronizing about it. He’s acting like I don’t have my own free will, I’m just a puppet for people to hate on him by extension.”</p><p>“You have to understand Dora, it’s coming from a place of love-“</p><p>“love?”</p><p>Sirius looked like someone who had just accidently let slip someone else’s secret. “I- well- I mean, come on, Dora. How can you not notice how the man feels about you?”</p><p>Tonks was shocked. She felt like the world had just tilted on its axis. Yet, at the same time, she realized Sirius was right. There had been so many signs that Remus liked her as more than a friend. Making her breakfast, inviting her to walks in the village or ice cream in Diagon Alley, sitting shoulder to shoulder even though there was plenty of room on the couch. She thought of the way he looked at her sometimes when he thought she couldn’t see him – this awestruck, wanting look. Tonks thought about the wedding, how he had asked to kiss her and told her he wanted to pretend it was real. Tonks had thought he meant the general idea of a wedding, but maybe he really had meant that he wished their relationship was real. Tonks thought of the way Remus had promised her parents he would love and care for her, with real feeling she realized. She thought about how he got that slightly hurt, sad look whenever she mentioned the plan. She thought about Sirius’ warning, him telling her not to lose the plot and that it was Remus’ heart he was worried about.</p><p>“How long?” she asked, her voice sounding strange to her own ears. “How long have you known?”</p><p>Sirius looked away, uncomfortable. A while, then. “Look- I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn’t mean to say anything. It’s really not my business to talk about.”</p><p>“You knew, didn’t you, when you warned me about losing the plot? At the full moon?” she pushed.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“How?”</p><p>“He told me, for one. I’m not sure it was love then, or that he knew it was love, but he told me one Thursday after you left, how much he liked you, and then it developed from there. I’ve seen the way he looks at you, the way he talks about you now, how ridiculously happy he’s been since you moved in. I’m not sure he would admit to it, but I’ve known the man for over a decade and I know when he’s in love.”</p><p>“What? You mean, he’s liked me since before we started this plan?”</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“That’s why you thought it was so amusing, when you heard about the plan. You knew he liked me.”</p><p>“Yeah, I thought it was some kind of divine intervention or something, that Remus would be forced to marry the girl he likes. It’s the only way he’d do it, I think, if he was forced. He would never have told you he liked you, or asked you out or anything, probably. He’s got his whole too old, too poor, too dangerous argument going on.”</p><p>“Ha, you’ve got the speech memorized as well then?”</p><p>“Mmm, he uses it all the time. Same argument every time. I understand that that can be extremely frustrating, having to always have that fight with him, but he has good reason for not trusting a good thing.”</p><p>“What- this almost sounds like you think I should push him to a real relationship.”</p><p>“Well, yeah”</p><p>“What happened to ‘don’t lose the plot’?”</p><p>“Well, that was before I saw how good you two are together, how good you are for each other.”</p><p>“But that’s the act, Sirius. His feelings may be real, but the way we are together is only an act” she reminded him.</p><p>“Is it? Is it only an act? Are you telling me that none of that comes easily, naturally to you? That you don’t enjoy it?”</p><p>Well, of course I enjoy it, and yes it comes easily, but I’m good at false personas, and Remus is a great friend, an amazing guy.” </p><p>“Is that all? A great friend?”</p><p>“What do you mean? You think I’m in love with Remus?”</p><p>“Aren’t you?”</p><p>“Wh- Where did you get that idea?”</p><p>“Jeez it’s like pulling teeth with you two, isn’t it?” Sirius muttered. “Well, I’m not here to tell you how you feel. I’ve heard how you feel about that. I just thought… Anyways. Try and have some patience with Remus. It’s coming from a good place.”</p><p>Tonks nodded to show she had heard him. Her mind was swimming with confusion. She couldn’t stop thinking of all the moments she had chalked up to Remus’s good acting skills or his longing for any affection and trying to see how she should have realized those moments were really glimpses into his feelings for her. </p><p>“Why don’t you get to bed, Dora? The rooms on the second floor are all cleaned out, you can have any one of them. I’m sure you need your rest. I can bring you up a pain potion if you need.”</p><p>“I don’t need the potion, thanks. But I might just go to bed. I think you may be right, I’m knackered.” Tonks said. “Thanks for listening, Sirius.”</p><p>“Anytime. See you in the morning.” Sirius said, giving her an affectionate pat on the shoulder. </p><p>Tucked into bed a little while later, Tonks found herself lying awake for two reasons. One, her mind was swimming with thoughts about the events at work that day and the realization that Remus has feelings for her, as well as the question of whether she felt the same way. Two, she realized, she wasn’t having an easy time falling asleep without the sound of Remus’ even breathing beside her to help her sleep.</p><p>She thought about all the signs of Remus’ affection that she had been overlooking or misinterpreting. She thought that maybe she should be weirded out by the realization or more shocked, but the more she thought about it the less strange it seemed. It didn’t weird her out, it made her feel…pleased? She was going to have to spend more time muddling through her feelings. Sirius seemed pretty certain she was in love with Remus. She wanted to laugh at the thought, to say with certainty that the idea was absurd, but the more she thought about it the more she realized how blind she had been.</p><p>She thought about the way she looked forward to waking up in the morning for the time she and Remus spent having breakfast together. She thought about how when she was at work she wished she was home with Remus and wondered what he was doing. She thought about how she always felt like a weight had been lifted from her when she stepped through their front door. She realized she had started thinking of the cottage as ‘theirs’ and not just ‘Remus’’ anymore. She thought of how much she wanted to make Remus happy and how much joy it brought her to make him smile. </p><p>Oh Merlin, she thought. Sirius might be on the right track; she might like Remus as more than a friend. But was this just a product of living together and faking a loving marriage all the time? If they weren’t pretending to be husband and wife, would they still feel this way? Maybe she was just lonely, and Remus was always there. She needed to find a way to be sure.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Oooh, we have feelings being realized! But will things go smoothly from here?</p><p> </p><p>(don't worry - I currently have at least four more chapters planned)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Operation: Woo Remus - Part One</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonks awoke the next morning feeling much better emotionally. Unfortunately, she did not feel better physically. She was sore all over. Tonks made the snap decision to send in notice that she was taking the day off. She was due a sick day, she figured.</p>
<p>Tonks headed downstairs and found Sirius pouring himself a bowl of Owl-O’s in the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Gooood Morning!” He greeted her.</p>
<p>“Good morning.” She returned the greeting.</p>
<p>“How are you feeling?”</p>
<p>“Emotionally, better. Physically, like I got run over by the knight bus.”</p>
<p>Sirius snorted. “Ah. That well huh? Remus would be a better nursemaid than me, he’ll know what to do for bruising.”</p>
<p>“I’ll ask. We have a lot to talk about anyways.”</p>
<p>Sirius raised an eyebrow at her. “Oh? Did you come to some realizations last night?”</p>
<p>“I got shoved off a cliff of realizations, you mean. But, yes, I realized I’ve been quite blind.”</p>
<p>Sirius nodded. “You have.”</p>
<p>Tonks swatted at him. “Any idea how one goes about confessing their love to their own husband?” She joked.</p>
<p>“Just be honest and remember the two most important things with Remus: affection and reassurance. Beyond that, I’m not going to help my little cousin get together with my best mate. I’m not doing all the work in your relationship.”</p>
<p>“Fair enough.”</p>
<p>“Want some O’s?” Sirius offered, milk dribbling out of the corner of his mouth.</p>
<p>“Uh, no. I told Remus I’d be back in the morning, so I should probably go make sure we can talk.”</p>
<p>“Be safe, come back and visit me again soon.” Sirius told her.</p>
<p>“I will, take care of yourself Sirius.” Tonks told him as she stepped into the fireplace and tossed her floo powder to head back to the cottage.</p>
<p>Stepping out of the floo, Tonks did not know what to expect. Part of her thought Remus might be avoiding her because he was still in the mood to argue from last night. Part of her thought he might be waiting anxiously for her in the sitting room. It turned out though, that neither was true. Instead, Remus was in the kitchen making breakfast and… whistling. </p>
<p>“Morning” He greeted her as she wandered into the kitchen.</p>
<p>“Morning?” she replied questioningly, wondering what parallel universe she had just walked into.</p>
<p>“How was your time with Sirius?” he asked.</p>
<p>“Good. Fine. He helped me sort some things out.”</p>
<p>“That’s good. I’m glad.” He said. “Do you want butter or jam on your toast?”</p>
<p>Tonks must not have replied quickly enough, because he eventually turned to give her an inquisitive look. “Or no toast? We don’t have to have toast if you don’t want.”</p>
<p>“Remus.”</p>
<p>“Dora?”</p>
<p>“What’s going on here?”</p>
<p>“I’m making breakfast.”</p>
<p>“What about our fight last night?”</p>
<p>“We fought last night so now you don’t want breakfast?”</p>
<p>“Forget about breakfast. I want to know how you can go from being so sure we should call an end to the plan last night to fine today.”</p>
<p>She could see the moment he dropped the fake cheery act in the way his posture re-arranged. </p>
<p>“I did a lot of thinking last night as well. I thought about what you said. I thought about what Sirius would probably say.”</p>
<p>“Oh, that’s…good?”</p>
<p>“I hope you’ll see it that way.” He said in a measured tone.</p>
<p>“What conclusions did you come to, after all that thinking?”</p>
<p>“I realized that I can’t tell you how to feel, you were right about that and I’m sorry. I realized that I can’t change the way people will respond to our relationship, and that the damage is probably already done. Declaring it all a lie now might not even reverse the effects that our relationship has had on your reputation. So, I realized that instead of convincing you this is a bad idea, I should do everything I can to make this worth your while.” He explained. “So, I want you to tell me, anything you want, anything at all, I’ll do it.”</p>
<p>Tonks was taken aback. On one hand, she was glad that he was not going to keep trying to push her away. On the other, she wanted nothing in return for helping him, and she couldn’t believe he saw this as something he needed to make ‘worth her while’.</p>
<p>“Remus, I’m really glad you’ve decided not to keep fighting me on this, but I don’t want you thinking you need to make it up to me. I’m doing this because I want to, not because I want anything in return.”</p>
<p>“You say that, but I can’t possibly allow you to sacrifice so much to help me for nothing in return.”</p>
<p>“It’s not nothing in return. In return, I get your company, I’m staying in your house, I get fantastic breakfasts made for me every morning” she tried at a bit of levity.</p>
<p>“You mean that? You’re actually enjoying yourself?” he asked, sounding genuinely disbelieving, but also hopeful.</p>
<p>“I am enjoying this, Remus. I- I kind of wish my life could always be like this actually.” She admitted, hoping he would understand this admission for what it was, and that he wouldn’t panic and overthink it.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Me too. I’m sorry I’ve taken away your chance for a real marriage, for now anyways.” Remus said, his features returning to a forlorn expression.</p>
<p>“I have a real marriage. We’re legally married.”</p>
<p>“But we aren’t really a couple”</p>
<p>“Maybe I wish we were.” There. She’d said it.</p>
<p>Remus was silent for several long moments. She watched his features shift from sadness to surprise to hope before he schooled them into something neutral. </p>
<p>“I- I- I don’t understand.”</p>
<p>“I think you do. I think you feel the same way I do. I think… I think maybe I’m in love with you, and I think you love me back.” Tonks told him.</p>
<p>“That’s absurd.”</p>
<p>“Is it?”</p>
<p>“Yes! Dora you can’t love me! What could you possibly see in me besides flaws?”</p>
<p>“We’ve already had this argument. My answers are all still the same. The only thing that would change is that we can start being honest.”</p>
<p>“I don’t know where this is coming from.” He said, looking startled.</p>
<p>Tonks decided to try full disclosure. “I realized it last night after we argued. All I wanted yesterday was to get home to you. Then when I was talking to Sirius after our argument, he accidently let slip that you had told him you liked me, and that he thought it was love now, and that I loved you back. I started thinking about all the signs that you like me that I’ve been missing or misinterpreting, and while I was thinking about that, I realized all the reasons that I loved you back.” </p>
<p>Tonks listed for him all the reasons why she realized she loved him; sitting on the couch together in the evenings, his laugh, the snuffly noises he made in his sleep, the way he would call ‘bless you’ even from across the cottage if she sneezed, every little reason that she could think of. She was determined to prove to him that she really did love him, she did not want him to be able to claim it wasn’t really love or it was a result of their pretending.</p>
<p>Remus appeared to be at a loss for words. He was silent for a while before he said, without much conviction, “I’m going to kill Sirius.” And then in a much more serious tone “I never meant for you to know. I am content with your friendship.”</p>
<p>“Damn your contentment!” Tonks blurted out, with more force than she had intended. “I have a right to know. That’s you assuming what I would think again.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, your right. I just can’t bear the thought of not having you around. I thought- keeping my feelings to myself meant I could guarantee our friendship wouldn’t be tainted, but if I told you, I might lose that.”</p>
<p>“You’ll never lose my friendship, Remus. I can promise you that. No matter how our relationship goes romantically, I could never stop being your friend.”</p>
<p>Remus looked away from her, his hands twitching slightly in a way she had come to realize was him trying to keep from fidgeting. He looked to be on the verge of a decision, but he was struggling. </p>
<p>“Remus.” He continued looking away. “Remus.” She tried again. “I understand this is a lot to take in. I understand that you are unsure about this and that you don’t know where to go from here. We can take this at whatever pace we want. We know how we feel about each other now, let’s just continue as normal, do what feels right. How about that?”</p>
<p>Remus gradually moved his gaze from the floor back to her, and he nodded, looking somewhat more relaxed. “Okay.”</p>
<p>“Yeah?”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’ll try.”</p>
<p>Tonks beamed. She felt that this had gone about as perfectly as it could have, considering her ability to say the wrong thing and ruin a moment, and Remus’ ability to overthink and squash his own happiness. </p>
<p>The rest of the day had both of them moving around in a daze. Tonks caught Remus looking at her several times with a goofy grin on his face. Tonks was really glad she had taken the day off so she could talk to Remus properly, and so they could have this time of just existing together for Remus to see that nothing really had to change once they admitted their feelings for one another.</p>
<p>The next morning Tonks unfortunately had to return to work. Remus wanted to fuss over her about going in to work but she stopped him. She couldn’t live the rest of her life worried something might happen, she was a dark wizard catcher, there was always a risk of danger. Tonks needed to get back on her feet and jump right back in to normal. Her bruises were not too bad and were mostly yellow and fading already. </p>
<p>Over the next few days, Tonks was relieved that she was not called out to any major incidents. She only received small-time crimes and petty disputes. She was not sure whether Kingsley was assigning her to these on purpose, or if she was just getting lucky. Dawlish was suitably apologetic over leaving her behind when he saw her split lip and bruises. Tonks was not sure if he had gotten into any trouble for breaking protocol.</p>
<p>Life at home also continued as normal, Tonks did not make any moves to change things up physically, and instead focused on working more to talk about her feelings with Remus and telling him how much she liked him. She felt that this time was important for Remus to see that they had the emotional connection before starting a physical relationship, as Remus might be tempted to try to brush their relationship off as ‘friends who kiss’ rather than admit to the emotional commitment, so that he could give her an out. </p>
<p>One night, Tonks decided to try to gather more information about Remus’ previous experience, so that she would know for when she felt it was a good time for them to develop their relationship.</p>
<p>“May I ask you a personal question?” Tonks asked, lying in the armchair closest to the fire with her head hanging off the footrest and her feet dangling in the air over the back of the chair. </p>
<p>Remus looked up from his Order mission notes and shook his head slightly at her bizarre seating arrangement. “Yes, you may.”</p>
<p>“Thanks, professor.” She teased. </p>
<p>He grinned cheekily back at her. “Alright, what’s your question Dora?”</p>
<p>“It’s personal. None of my business, really. So you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” Tonks began, hoping he wouldn’t take offense to her question. “That day that I went dress shopping with my mum and Molly and then met you and Sirius at Grimmauld after.” She could see the moment he realized what she was talking about. “Sirius teased you about being a virgin, but you said you had done some things. I was wondering…you know… how far you’ve gone.” Tonks realized this question was a great deal more personal than it had sounded in her head.</p>
<p>Remus blushed and looked away. “uh…not much. It’s kind of embarrassing.”</p>
<p>“Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked. But you’ll get no judgement from me.”</p>
<p>Remus paused and seemed to be debating how to respond. “Okay, but you promise you won’t laugh?”</p>
<p>“Promise. Absolutely no laughter.”</p>
<p>“Okay. How far I’ve gone. Well…I’ve kissed.” He said with a blush, “I’ve…I’ve… ah- I’m not sure how to put it delicately.” </p>
<p>Tonks snorted. “Don’t worry about me sweetheart, I’m no proper lady.”</p>
<p>“Okay… I’ve done kissing… and I’ve…used my hands to get a woman off. You know.” He told her, looking hopeful that she would know what he meant, and he wouldn’t have to explain anymore.</p>
<p>She nodded to indicate she understood. She waited for him to continue, but when he did not, she prompted him. “anything else?”</p>
<p>“No, that’s it.” He admitted, speaking to the hands folded in his lap rather than looking at her.</p>
<p>“Okay. What about what you’ve received?”</p>
<p>“Uh…just kissing.” He told her, giving her an odd look.</p>
<p>“Oh.” She said, surprised. “well, thanks for telling me.”</p>
<p>Tonks was not sure she had ever been the most experienced one in a relationship, she was used to being on equal footing with her boyfriends in terms of experience. She couldn’t deny though, that the idea of being the one to teach him new things was exciting.</p>
<p>Remus had changed the topic to some kind of grammar joke he remembered because of something his report said, and Tonks had not brought it up again.</p>
<p>Friday morning rolled around and Tonks was trying to make it through her pile of paperwork quickly. There was an order meeting that night so she wouldn’t be able to stay late to finish paperwork, which meant anything she didn’t finish today would need to come home with her for the weekend. Not ideal. She only had six reports left to fill out, which could be done today if she didn’t get too distracted.</p>
<p>She had made it through two more reports when Kingsley appeared at her desk.</p>
<p>“Tonks. Got a call, trouble at Gringotts. Could use your help.”</p>
<p>Tonks was surprised, she normally responded to calls with Dawlish. </p>
<p>“Of course, K- sir.” She said. It was a constant battle to remind herself that, at work, Kingsley was her supervisor that she rarely had reason to interact with besides in a professional capacity.</p>
<p>They made their way to Diagon Alley to respond to the call. Kingsley provided her with a few more details as they made their way to Gringotts where the call was made. A ‘concerned citizen’ had called in about a robbery. This was a bizarre call, as there were very, very few accounts of successful robberies at Gringotts.</p>
<p>They arrived on scene to find an irate man pacing about in front of three goblins who were telling him in no uncertain terms that no one had been in to visit his vault, let alone been able to take anything. </p>
<p>“Finally! Your response time leaves much to be desired.” The man huffed when they had reached the group. “Items have been stolen from my secure vault and these lot are being useless about it.”</p>
<p>Tonks instantly disliked this man and his dismissive treatment of the goblins. He was clearly someone who viewed himself as very important and placed little value on the lives of those he saw as less than him. </p>
<p>“Sir, I’m Auror Kingsley and this is Auror Tonks. What is your name?” Kingsley asked in his usual stoic manner.</p>
<p>“Evan Garrison.”</p>
<p>“Mr. Garrison, what makes you think your vault has been broken into?”</p>
<p>“Well because things are missing, obviously!”</p>
<p>“Mr. Garrison has been informed that this is impossible! The vaults are secure, and no visitors have been transported to his vault level since he was last here a week ago.” A goblin spoke up. </p>
<p>Tonks and Kinglsey glanced at each other, they needed to separate Mr. Garrison from the goblins if they wanted to get anywhere with their questions.</p>
<p>“Can you please give an account of the items that are missing?” Tonks asked, taking out a quick notes quill and her notebook. Kingsley stepped to the side to get visitor records from the goblins. </p>
<p>Garrison heaved a great sigh, being of any assistance in the recovery of his items was clearly a terrible burden. “I am missing a foe glass, a state-of-the-art creature case, and six hundred galleons.”</p>
<p>“Interesting items for a thief to steal. There isn’t much of a market for foe glasses or creature cases, is there? Why would a thief go to all the trouble of stealing those items?” Tonks questioned.</p>
<p>“I don’t know why! That’s YOUR job! Why do I think they stole my things? Shall I just figure out who did it while I’m at it? Honestly. The incompetence is astounding.”</p>
<p>“There’s a definite note of uncalled for hostility in your tone and I don’t appreciate it.” Tonks stated sharply. </p>
<p>Garrison fixed her with a calculating look. Perhaps trying to decide if she was someone he could intimidate. He appeared to decide she wasn’t because he remained silent. </p>
<p>“Are you the only one with access to this vault?”</p>
<p>“Yes.”</p>
<p>“You have ever lent the key to anyone else?”</p>
<p>“Never.”</p>
<p>“Do you think anyone else has ever seen where you left the key?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Is it possible you have moved these items previously and forgotten about it?”</p>
<p>“Are you trying to imply I’m an idiot?”</p>
<p>“No. Is it possible?”</p>
<p>“NO!”</p>
<p>“Do you have any reason to believe someone you know may want to take these items from you?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Do you know anyone who holds a grudge against you that may have done this?”</p>
<p>“No.”</p>
<p>“Is there anything else you feel we should know?”</p>
<p>“Only that I have friends in high places in the Ministry, friends who would be most unhappy to hear that I was not able to recover my stolen items.” Garrison said.</p>
<p>Kingsley and Tonks, who heard this kind of thing several times a week, did not bat an eye. </p>
<p>“That’s nice for you sir. That’s all for now, we will contact you when we have information to share. You can go now.” Kingsley informed him. His firm tone indicating there was no room for argument. </p>
<p>Tonks and Kingsley were escorted down to the vault in question where they examined the door for any signs of forced entry. There were no marks or magic remnants that they were able to check. The door had not been magically tampered with or opened by force.</p>
<p>“Thoughts?” Kingsley asked as they made their way back up from the vault to head back to the Ministry.</p>
<p>“Not sure yet, but right now I think this may be some kind of insurance scam.” Tonks said.</p>
<p>Kingsley nodded. “Yes, I’m not sure Mr. Garrison’s story is to be believed. More likely he is faking it for some reason.”</p>
<p>They returned to the Ministry and Tonks set to work looking into other reports of stolen or missing items like what Garrison was missing to see if there were a string of such thefts, or signs of a growing illegal market. She added her findings, as well as information from her interview of Garrison, to a report. Unable to find more information at present, she returned to her remaining reports. This would be a case that would drag on, she could tell.</p>
<p>At five o’clock Tonks let Kingsley know what she was able to find out and what her next steps were going to be, before they said goodbye and headed their separate ways. Well, only until they both arrived at Grimmauld for the 5:30 pm Order meeting.</p>
<p>Tonks took a seat next to Remus at the table, unable to stop her smile as soon as she saw him. Merlin, she was turning into some kind of mushy romantic. She went as far as to lean in and give him a kiss on the cheek as a greeting. They shared a private smile between them and goofy little ‘hellos’ before Sirius made fake retching noises from Remus’ other side and they stopped.</p>
<p>The meeting proceeded as normal, there was not much new information to report. Continued preparations from the other side for something, but they were still struggling to figure out what. </p>
<p>Hestia and Sturgis reported that they had gotten intel about a meeting that night that they hoped would illuminate things more, but Hestia was hesitant for them to be the ones to try to gather intel on this meeting. When asked why, she turned pink and said it was not the sort of location where she or Sturgis would fit in.</p>
<p>“Ah. I see. Perhaps it is a location better suited to young newlyweds?”</p>
<p>Dumbledore turned his gaze to Tonks and Remus. Tonks saw where this was going.</p>
<p>“Yes. That would be a better fit. A more likely- amorous couple.” Hestia said primly.</p>
<p>Amorous? Where the hell were they being sent?</p>
<p>“Remus? Nymphadora? Are you able to gather intel on this meeting?” the headmaster asked.</p>
<p>“Yes, of course. Just give us a time and a place.” Remus replied.</p>
<p>“It’s- it’s at nine this evening and it is at an establishment called Pulse.” Hestia told them, following it up with approximate directions. </p>
<p>This was how Tonks found herself walking into a seedy nightclub with Remus that evening. It had been a bit of an adventure, getting Remus to wear something nightclub appropriate. After cajoling from her and teasing from Sirius, Remus was now kitted out in a fitted black t-shirt and jeans. Not quite the look she would choose for a nightclub, but the best they were probably going to get from Remus. Tonks, who’s hair was long and platinum blond today, wore a cropped Weird Sisters top and a black skirt.  They looked the part, but now they needed to act the part. </p>
<p>Tonks immediately spotted one of their targets, his large figure making him hard to miss, and she also spotted an empty bench in the booth directly behind him. They would be able to spot anyone else who joined the table because they were between him and the door, and the proximity meant they would be able to hear clearly. It was an excellent vantage point.</p>
<p>Tonks and Remus took their seats in one side of the large booth. Across from them, an amorous couple were attempting to suck each other’s faces off. The woman was sitting in the man’s lap and they were engaged in an intense make-out session. Tonks glanced at Remus to see if he had noticed and found him looking alarmed. She giggled and leaned into him. This was not a bar you went to if you were not into exhibitionist displays of public affection. Couples in all sorts of states of debauchery were scattered around the bar. </p>
<p>Tonks caught the attention of a server and ordered them both a vodka soda. It appeared that the other targets were not here yet, and so Tonks and Remus pretended they were just a couple in a club on a date. Tonks leaned into Remus and giggled excessively at things he said, and he cupped her knee with his hand and whispered things into her ear, the picture of intimacy. No one but Tonks could hear that Remus was not whispering sweet nothings in her ear as it appeared but was recounting some of Sirius’ greatest dating disasters instead.</p>
<p>Tonks was distracted by movement from the couple across from them. The woman was now grinding heavily on her boyfriend’s thigh and making sounds that Tonks did not even want to begin finding words to describe. It was getting a bit like sitting across from a porno. </p>
<p>“That’s- That’s a bit much.” Remus whispered into her ear; his breath hot. She jumped, trying to disguise the motion as leaning into him. </p>
<p>It was at this moment that two men began to approach the booth and Tonks felt her stomach drop. One of the men was Vincent Crabbe Sr., and the other was none other than Evan Garrison, the man she had been interviewing in Gringotts earlier that very day. The pair was approaching the booth, their path clearly headed to the target booth behind them. Tonks had not morphed her face today as there was no need for disguise. If Garrison looked over, he would see her, and it could ruin the entire operation. She whispered this quick warning to Remus.</p>
<p>With the couple across from them in mind, and images of how badly this would go if Garrison recognized her, Tonks climbed onto Remus’ lap, straddling him. Remus reached up to tangle one hand in her hair and hold her head close to his, while the other sat low on her lower back. Tonks realized that the hand on her head was messing up her hair, causing it to fall forward and frame her face. Tonks brought their lips together so her face would hopefully be almost fully obscured and made a show of rocking her hips to press in close to Remus’. He let out a cut-off groan that she was not entirely sure he was faking.</p>
<p>Garrison had taken a seat in the booth behind them. Tonks breathed a sigh of relief. Now, until Garrison went to walk past again, they were safe from her being recognized. Tonks scooted backwards slightly to give Remus more space between them but did not climb off his lap. They pretended to be intently focused on one another, but in reality, they were both listening carefully to the conversation in the booth behind them.</p>
<p>“I’ve done it.” That was Garrison’s voice. “Made the report this morning.”</p>
<p>“Think it will stick?” She recognized Crabbe’s gruff voice.</p>
<p>“I don’t know, those aurors were a piece of work. Didn’t realize they’d take it so seriously.”</p>
<p>“I told you, you should have said the stuff was stolen from your house, Gringotts is too secure.”</p>
<p>“I don’t want aurors traipsing through my house, idiot! It’s fine, I think they bought it. Besides, I’m unloading the items now, aren’t I? They aren’t going to find them on me, so they can’t prove I faked the report.”</p>
<p>“Let’s have them, then.” The third man, who had been there when they arrived, Tonks thought his name was Voltaire, said.</p>
<p>There was rustling as Garrison presumably took out the items and passed them over. </p>
<p>“What did you need those things for, anyways?” Garrison grumbled.</p>
<p>“We’s gonna use-“</p>
<p>“Idiot! Don’t talk about it! Not here.” Crabbe interrupted whatever Voltaire was about to say. “It’s not any of your concern anyways. Boss said he wanted these things, that’s all you need to know.”</p>
<p>“Fine! Fine. I don’t see how they’ll get you into the Ministry’s basement anyways.” Garrison muttered, and was promptly shushed, and by the sounds of it, thumped hard. </p>
<p>The men then rose and began to leave, their transaction complete. Tonks captured Remus’ lips again for a heated kiss, continuing it for a few minutes after the men had left the club, just to be sure of course. She felt pleasantly warm and would have liked to press her hips forward into Remus’ again to see if he would make the same noise as before, but she knew they probably needed to get home. So, reluctantly, she climbed off his lap and they too left the club. </p>
<p>There was a moment, after they had entered the cottage, where neither knew what to say. They stood awkwardly in the entryway, both choking on the tension in the air, before Remus snuck away to put the kettle on. Tonks was not content to leave this be. Perhaps Remus needed a push to entice him to make a move. She walked over to where he stood, waiting on the kettle to boil. Remus, she had learned, made tea in any uncomfortable situation. He looked at her questioningly. She grabbed a hold of his shirt and pressed their lips together.</p>
<p>Tonks kissed him ardently, pressing him back against the wall of the kitchen, making him gasp. Their mouths slid together, and Tonks slid her tongue into his mouth to tangle with his. At first, it was a bit awkward and his lack of experience showed, but he caught on to the rhythm she was setting. Their mouths moved together, hot and wet, until she had to pull away so they could both breathe. She bit at his lip gently and began kissing along his jaw, sucking on the spot where his jaw met his throat and making him moan, a sound which vibrated in his throat against her lips. She pulled back and smiled at him, using that moment to slide her hands up inside his shirt. Remus put his hands on her hips and pulled her in close to crash their lips together again. She could feel that he was hard already, pressing insistently against her thigh, though she did not think this was an admission he’d be willing to make at this point. </p>
<p>She was surprised, because of his lack of experience, that he preferred to lead from here. He kissed a wet trail down her neck, stopping to blow warm air against the wet-cool path he had just made, making her shiver. He avoided letting her distract him with kisses to his jaw or neck. He seemed to prefer to be focusing on her than having her focus on him. She briefly wondered if it was because he was afraid of reacting too strongly. She quickly did not have the focus to wonder about it though, as she became lost in their kisses and the warm, smooth skin she found where his shirt was riding up.</p>
<p>This was rapidly heading towards ending up as sex in the kitchen, and Tonks felt like she would have no problem with that. With Remus sucking a trail down her neck and her hand massaging the warm skin exposed on back, it seemed like a very good idea. But then, she thought of the way Remus had blushed and included kissing in the list of sexual acts he had done, and she knew that this wasn’t the way she wanted it to happen. Not between them, and not for his first time.</p>
<p>“Remus.” She tried to get his attention, slightly embarrassed to hear his name come out more of a moan. “Remus, stop.” She tried again.</p>
<p>The effect was immediate, he took several steps back, almost stumbling in his haste to put space between them.</p>
<p>“Sorry- I thought-“ he fumbled for an explanation.</p>
<p>“No, it’s fine- I wanted that- I just think we need to slow down before things go further than we’re really ready for.” She explained, still slightly breathless. She wished she knew how to say this without making him look embarrassed and guilty. He was still flushed and breathing a little heavier than normal. Tonks thought she could see the outline of his erection through his trousers, but he shifted to cover that part of himself in embarrassment.</p>
<p>“Sorry- I guess I just got carried away in it all.” Remus admitted.</p>
<p>“Me too.” She responded with a grin. “Let’s sit down and go over what we learned, shall we?”</p>
<p>Remus seemed relieved to have a good distraction. He joined her to sit at the table. </p>
<p>“Right,” he started. “What exactly is in the Ministry’s basement?”</p>
<p>“A couple of things. The court rooms are in the lower levels, some storage rooms for paperwork and spare office materials, things like that, and the Department of Mysteries is also in the lower levels.”</p>
<p>“What’s your first thought, which do you think is the target?”</p>
<p>“Department of Mysteries. The other rooms are not that hard to get into.”</p>
<p>“What is kept in the Department of Mysteries?”</p>
<p>“Uh- I don’t know.” Tonks admitted, awkwardly.</p>
<p>“Oh. Who would know?”</p>
<p>“I’m not sure anyone besides the Minister and the Unspeakables know. Maybe Dumbledore would know?” </p>
<p>“Let’s get this information to Dumbledore, either way he’ll need to know. If he doesn’t know what’s in the Department of Mysteries, we will need to find a way to find out.”</p>
<p>Tonks nodded in agreement and Remus went to the fireplace to check through the floo if Dumbledore was available to meet.  He was, and so they both stepped through the fireplace into his office.</p>
<p>“Hello Remus, Nymphadora. What information were you able to gather?”</p>
<p>“Hello, sir. We know that the Death Eaters are trying to gain access to something in the lower levels of the Ministry. Dora thinks, and I agree with her assessment, that it’s probably the Department of Mysteries they are trying to break into.”</p>
<p>“This is vital information indeed.” Dumbledore looked thoughtful. “Anything else?”</p>
<p>“They need a foe glass, a state-of-the-art creature case, and six hundred galleons, apparently.” Tonks said, and then she explained about her call earlier in the day and the hand off of items that evening.</p>
<p>“Hmm. Curious.”</p>
<p>“Do you know what is housed in the Department of Mysteries, sir?” Tonks asked.</p>
<p>“I do not. Give me some time to ponder this, I may be able to find out. I have a suspicion. I will call a meeting when I have more information to share.” Dumbledore told them.</p>
<p>They left Dumbledore’s office feeling uplifted. They were finally gathering more information. Tonks felt as though they were catching up to the other side, for the first time in a while she felt more hopeful about their chances.</p>
<p>Bolstered by the success of their mission, Tonks lay in bed that night formulating a plan for how to take her relationship with Remus further. She realized that Remus would not be the kind of man to want to jump into the physical right away. She would need to find a way to woo him. She smiled privately to herself at the thought. She remembered that Sirius had told her how important affection was to Remus. She should never have thought that enticing him with sex would be the way to start off a deeper relationship. She was going to have to start with affection: dates, gifts, attention.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Operation: Woo Remus - Part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Sorry for the delay everybody! This chapter was very difficult to write for some reason. I'm sorry its so short, but I have lots of ideas for the next chapter, so hopefully that one will be more exciting.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonks awoke the next morning feeling a serene sense of peace. She hadn’t realized how much having her and Remus on the same page about their relationship would change things for her. She had spent so long being unaware of his feelings, and not really properly dealing with her own feelings, and now they were on the same page. She knew Remus hadn’t said he loved her, at least not in so many words, but she didn’t feel too worried about it, he needed a bit more time with the idea before he could be so bold as to talk about it, she could understand that.</p>
<p>Tonks stretched lazily, deciding to lie in for a bit today, it was Saturday and she’d had a hell of a week, after all. She was surprised to find that she was not alone in the bed either. She sat up a little and saw that Remus was still fast asleep beside her. This was only the second time since they had moved in together that he was still in the bed when she woke up, and this was the first time she woke up to see him still sleeping.</p>
<p>She propped herself up on her elbow to see him better. His face was relaxed and peaceful in sleep in a way she had never seen it when he was awake. He was always controlled, even in his most relaxed moments, she could tell he was aware of himself. Tonks wondered what it would be like to be able to break through some of that carefully built self-control. She had seen glimpses when they argued and he was consumed by emotion, or when they were kissing in the kitchen last night. She blushed at the memory. She liked looking at his sandy coloured hair, peppered with grey, it looked so soft and she enjoyed the thought that she was now going to be allowed to run her fingers through it whenever she wanted.</p>
<p>Tonks’ silent observation was interrupted by Remus’ eyes fluttering open. He started a bit when he saw her looking at him, but relaxed when he realized it was just her. </p>
<p>“Good morning. Did you sleep well?” she asked softly, reaching out to brush his fringe out of his eyes just as she had just been thinking about.</p>
<p>“Mmm. Yes, thank you. How did you sleep?” he asked as he stretched.</p>
<p>“Oh, wonderful. I had a dream I snogged a really hot guy in his kitchen last night.” She mused, which made Remus smile and blush.</p>
<p>“Funny I had the same kind of dream.” He told her.</p>
<p>“You dreamt you were snogging a hot guy?” Tonks said with exaggerated shock. “I always knew you and Sirius were too close.”</p>
<p>Remus let out a bark of laughter, even as he looked at her with a kind of horrified amusement. “No, I dreamt I was kissing you, Dora.” He told her. “I am way out of Sirius’ league anyways.” He added, which made Tonks chuckle.</p>
<p>“Are you sure about that? Sirius has told me he used to be known as the ‘sex god of Gryffindor Tower’” she teased, with exaggerated air quotes.</p>
<p>“Known only to himself as that! He bloody wishes.” Remus corrected. </p>
<p>Remus gave a long stretch, and Tonks eyed at the expanse of smooth skin exposed when his shirt rode up as he did so. He caught her looking and straightened out his shirt with a curious look at her.</p>
<p>“So, any plans today?” Remus asked her.</p>
<p>“I thought maybe we could go to Hogsmeade? I haven’t been there in ages. Only if you want to, though.”</p>
<p>“Yeah, I’d like that.” Remus said, looking pleased.</p>
<p>“Okay, it’s a date.” Remus’ ears went pink, which Tonks thought was cute considering they were legally married. “Let me just lie here a little while longer.”</p>
<p>Tonks and Remus lay in companionable silence for a while before they got up and went about their usual morning routine. </p>
<p>Tonks found herself quite looking forward to going to Hogsmeade with Remus, even though the idea had only really popped into her head when Remus asked. She felt a little bit like a teenager again, going down to Hogsmeade on valentine’s weekend. She remembered all the fuss girls made in the week or two leading up to the valentine’s Hogsmeade trip, hoping to be asked by one boy or another, deciding what to wear, what the best route around Hogsmeade for a romantic walk was. </p>
<p>Tonks repeated some of these thoughts to Remus when they arrived in Hogsmeade. </p>
<p>He grinned. “I was just thinking the same thing. I remember how the guys would try to decide where the best make-out spots were. How we used to go to Frank Long-bottom for advice about girls because he and Alice had been going steady for forever.”</p>
<p>“oh, so what was the consensus? Where is the best make-out spot in all of Hogsmeade?”</p>
<p>Remus appeared to be thinking or trying to stall for a moment before he answered. “There’s this rock in a little clearing out by the lookout point to the Shrieking Shack, I think that was the agreed upon best spot.”</p>
<p>“We might need to test it out later, just to check the accuracy of that statement.”</p>
<p>“Of course, for research purposes.”<br/>“Yes. Research purposes.”</p>
<p>“Well, I am an academic, you know.” </p>
<p>This teasing banter carried on as they wandered about the wizarding village together. They stopped at Zonko’s Joke Shop and Remus marvelled at some of the newer stock and gave her such animated descriptions of how the Marauders might have used them for pranks that Tonks could not help but laugh. (“Oh! If you set these off inside a toilet with an exploding dung bomb, it would be spectacular…” “Can you imagine setting these off in the dungeons? Right outside the Slytherin common room would be best, maybe right at the end of dinner so everyone would be coming back…”). Between the two of them, they bought a couple of the items to give to Sirius because he would surely appreciate them. </p>
<p>Tonks jokingly suggested tea at Madame Puddifoots and Remus looked so alarmed Tonks had to laugh. </p>
<p>“What’s up with you and the tea shop?” she asked him.</p>
<p>“Er- I took a girl on a date there once. It did not go well.”</p>
<p>“Do tell!”</p>
<p>“No, you don’t want to hear it, it was really rather awful.”</p>
<p>“That just makes me want to hear the story more.”</p>
<p>“Sadist” he accused, but he took a deep breath and told her the story anyways. “Her name was Emma Caldwell, she was a Ravenclaw who sat in front of me in Defense Against the Dark Arts. Her hair always smelled like strawberries and I liked the way she smiled. I was really surprised that she agreed to go with me, she was way too pretty and too popular, I thought. Way out of my league. But, she agreed, so we went to Madame Puddifoots for Valentine’s weekend because I knew that was where all the girls wanted to go. I was so nervous. It became apparent, rather quickly, that she was not actually all that interested in me.</p>
<p>You see, Emma had recently broken up with her boyfriend, a Beater on the Ravenclaw Quidditch team, about two weeks before I asked her to Hogsmeade. They had a constant on again off again relationship. I should have seen the danger here, but it seemed important that year to have a date for Valentine’s weekend, and I was sweet on her.</p>
<p>So, we are in Madame Puddifoots and all she can do is talk about her ex. Everything was about him, even when I tried to steer the topic away, she found some way of bringing it back to him or mentioning him. I was disappointed but I suppose I hoped she was just upset from the break-up and she would move on. However, just about when we got our dessert – spectacular chocolate cake by the way – I realise that someone is watching us. We were sitting by a window, and I realised I could see her boyfriend just lurking outside, watching us. Emma must have noticed him as well because she got very keen on us feeding each other bites of cake and snogging and what not. It was confirmed for me then that she had only agreed to go out with me to make him jealous.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I’m sorry love, that’s cruel.” She commiserated, patting his shoulder comfortingly.</p>
<p>“Oh, it gets worse.” He said with a wry smile. “See, her boyfriend was none too pleased about this. When we went to leave, he marched right up to me and punched me right in the nose. Knocked me out, too.”</p>
<p>“He hit you!?”</p>
<p>“Only once. He was a beater, remember. Oh, it was mortifying. I was out only a few seconds, but I came to flat on my back and Emma was embracing him and going on about how she knew he would see sense and take her back, and people laughed and pointed at me, and my nose hurt something awful. It was very embarrassing to pick myself up off the ground and walk back to the castle alone while my date snogged the life out of her ex. I went back to the dorm and James and I went to the kitchens to drown our sorrows with snacks.” He told her. “Lilly had rejected him, again.” He added by way of explanation for James’ Valentines sorrow.</p>
<p>Tonks tried really hard not to laugh, really, she did. She was doing well at holding in her laughter until he gave a melodramatic sigh and she just lost it. She laughed and laughed the whole rest of the way up the street.</p>
<p>“I’m-so-sorry!” she choked out around giggles. “I- I just can’t stop-imagining—you go down in one punch—he was a Beater! —sorry!”</p>
<p>“I’m glad my traumatic memory has amused you so much.” He griped, though he was smiling too. </p>
<p>Tonks watched the way his smile dropped suddenly, and she was about to ask him what was wrong when she took in the view ahead of them and realized she knew exactly what had upset him.</p>
<p>They were nearing the last few buildings on the lane, and ahead of them was the winding trail down to the lookout point, and the Shrieking Shack beyond. The Shack was dark and looming even from this distance, with its eerie separation from everything around it, as though even trees feared being near it. The dilapidated state of the building only served to make it appear more foreboding.</p>
<p>Tonks slipped her hand into his, holding it tight as support.</p>
<p>“I’m sorry, I didn’t think about what it might mean to you to have to walk past this place, we can turn back if you like.” She told him.</p>
<p>He was quiet for a moment before he spoke. “and miss testing this snogging spot? Never.” </p>
<p>“I mean it, Remus. We can snog on the couch at home if you like, we don’t have to walk past.”</p>
<p>“Now there’s an offer.” He said with a thoughtful expression. “But no, I don’t mind walking past here, it just holds a lot of memories for me” he explained.</p>
<p>They walked forward together, moving to stand at the fence that protected the lookout point. They spent a few minutes just taking in the view before Remus broke the silence.</p>
<p>“It feels really strange to see it from so far away, no matter how many times I see it, it always surprises me.” He said softly. “Knowing that I’m one of the few people that has ever seen the inside of the Shack used to make me feel kind of special when I was a kid. Not that I could tell anyone that, anyways. But when other kids would talk about what they thought it looked like in there, or what creature lived in the Shack, or why the shack has no door, I always had this little thrill that I knew all those answers.”</p>
<p>“What does it look like on the inside?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Like a house, really. Mostly empty of furniture though, and very dusty now. There is a fully furnished bedroom upstairs, that’s where I mostly chose to transform. The furniture has mostly been destroyed, by me or by time. It’s not really all that exciting.”</p>
<p>They stood together and looked out at the building for a while, their hands still intertwined, before Tonks broke the silence.</p>
<p>“Ready to move on?”</p>
<p>“Yeah. There’s research to be done” he replied, looking energized as he shot her a cheeky grin.</p>
<p>Tonks led him up a small trail off to the side, up to the clearing and the large rock that was flat enough to be sat on.</p>
<p>“Does this place bring back lots of memories for you then?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Are you fishing for more dating disaster stories?”</p>
<p>“No. Unless you have more to share.”</p>
<p>“No, I never came to this spot. Just heard about it from the others.” Remus shrugged as he took a seat on the rock.<br/>Tonks took a seat next to him and he gave her a slightly shy smile. Tonks leaned over and pressed their lips together. “Well there’s a first time for everything.” she said in between kisses.</p>
<p>They passed twenty minutes or so like that, kissing languidly. It was nice, none of the worry of the distraction kisses from missions, or the urgency of the other night. It was a sweet moment of intimacy between them, with the soft sound of wind blowing through the leaves and the distant noise from the village in the background mingling with the sound of their breathing and sighs.</p>
<p>Eventually, they broke apart and made their way back through the village and back home. Tonks felt utterly content. </p>
<p>It was later that day, when they were sitting on the couch not doing much of anything but relaxing the day away that Remus put down his book and turned to her. He took her hands in his, even as she looked at him oddly, wondering what he was doing.</p>
<p>“I don’t know if- I mean I know I haven’t said this, I think you already know, but- I want to say it properly.” He rambled slightly. “I love you, Dora.”</p>
<p>Tonks was surprised, she had not realised how much she wanted to hear him actually say those words aloud until she heard them. She broke into a smile.</p>
<p>“I love you too, Remus.”</p>
<p>The smiled at each other like love-sick fools and Tonks couldn’t believe it was only last week that they had not realized their feelings for each other.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Strong Enough</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>November 23rd 1995. Today’s date. It was also the date that the Ministry of Magic formally passed its most restrictive laws on magical beings yet. Remus and Tonks’ ruse had paid off, Remus was safe from these government mandated restrictions, but the resulting prejudice and hate that these restrictive laws would inspire would still impact him. Tonks had not truly been aware of how much prejudice Remus received, or of how much his condition affected every aspect of his life, until they began their fake marriage plan.</p>
<p>This day was a solemn day, they had won the battle but lost the war. There was nothing they could do to stop the law being passed. Remus was safe, but so many other magical beings listed in the laws were not. They would feel the full brunt of these restrictions.</p>
<p>To make matters worse, tonight was the full moon. Not only did Remus have the laws to worry about, he was also on edge and feeling ill because of the effects of the moon. Life did seem to have a cruel streak. </p>
<p>They say bad things come in threes, and for Remus and Tonks the third bad thing to top off this no good very bad day came just after breakfast, when Sirius poked his head into the fire.</p>
<p>“Hello? Are you two lovebirds in? Do I need to shield my eyes?” Sirius called from the fireplace.</p>
<p>Tonks and Remus were in the kitchen finishing the washing up from breakfast but they both made their way to the sitting room when Sirius called.</p>
<p>“Who invited you?” Remus asked.</p>
<p>“We’ve been friends for more than twenty years, I don’t need to be invited.” Sirius announced.</p>
<p>“Has it been that long? I never thought I’d be able to stand that much time around you.”</p>
<p>Tonks had learned pretty quickly to understand their banter. When she had first spent time around the two, she had thought they might have been adversaries with the way they insulted one another and argued.</p>
<p>“Bah.”</p>
<p>“What can we do for you, Sirius?” Remus asked, ending their back and forth.</p>
<p>“It’s bad news I’m afraid. About tonight. I can’t make it, something has come up. I’m needed here.” Sirius explained.</p>
<p>“What’s happened?” Tonks asked.</p>
<p>“Nothing for you two to worry about. I haven’t been fully briefed yet, so I don’t have all the details, but you two have enough to worry about today.” Sirius told them. “You lot just get through today, and when Remus is back on his feet you can pop by and I’ll give you the latest information.”</p>
<p>“Alright. Don’t worry about me, old friend. I’m an old hand at doing this myself.” Remus assured him.</p>
<p>“Yeah, you’re old alright.”</p>
<p>“Shut it.”</p>
<p>“How you two can be so old but so childish, I’ll never know.” Tonks mused,</p>
<p>“Hey!” they both exclaimed in unison.</p>
<p>“Anyways, I better get back, but I just wanted to let you know I won’t be able to be there tonight. I’ll try to pop by tomorrow to check in with you. Dora, if you really need me you can floo me.” Sirius told them before he pulled his head back out of the fireplace.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“You don’t have to worry, Dora. I’m used to doing this on my own, the security measures are all designed so I can set them up myself.” Remus assured her.</p>
<p>“I know that. What about you though, who will make sure you are alright?” Tonks asked.</p>
<p>“Like I said, I’m used to doing this alone. Please don’t worry.”</p>
<p>“Of course, I’m going to worry. I love you, remember? I don’t like to think that you’re hurting and I can’t do anything about it.”</p>
<p>“Would it make you feel better to see the set up? You can see the security measures and see where I’m going to be.” Remus offered.</p>
<p>“yeah, let’s go see.”</p>
<p>Remus led her out of the front door and around to the side of the house. There was a set of large padlocked doors in the ground leading to the detached cellar. Remus began by unlocking the padlocks, with magic.</p>
<p>“There’s no key so I don’t have to worry about someone finding their way in that way.” He explained. “There are three sets of wards guarding the door during the moon as well, but I don’t keep them up when I’m not down there.”</p>
<p>The doors were heavy and gave a loud thud as he pulled them open. Stone steps led down into the dark cellar below. Remus cast a lumos charm as they descended the steps, illuminating the cellar as they entered. </p>
<p>It was a cavernous square room with little light. The first third of the room had a couple of chairs against the wall and some medical supplies in a box. This third of the room was divided from the next two thirds by a sturdy chain link fence that went from floor to ceiling with only one door in and out. The metal of the fence was very thick, about the thickness of her thumb. It was an ominous sight. Beyond the fence was dirt walls and dirt floors and no furniture of any kind. Tonks tried not to notice the places where the dirt was gauged up, by claws no doubt, or the lingering smell of copper in the air. </p>
<p>Far from giving her peace of mind, this cellar made her feel sick. She couldn’t imagine how he sat down here alone and in the dark waiting for the transformation to start. How he had done so for years. </p>
<p>“Did you transform down here as a child?” she found herself asking.</p>
<p>“Yes, we moved here about two years after I received the bite, and my father built this cellar himself.” Remus told her.</p>
<p>“What was it like?”</p>
<p>Remus appeared to think about this question for a long moment. “lonely.” He finally answered. “It gets quite cold down here, and dark with no lights. But none of that matters once the transformation starts.”</p>
<p>“Did your parents stay with you? I see there are chairs on this side.”</p>
<p>“No. My mother- she wanted to, but it was so hard for her to watch, and my father wouldn’t allow it. He- uh- He hated whenever he had to acknowledge what I was, he never watched me transform. He used to- well, he never really spoke to me on the day of the moon, definitely never as he led me into the cellar. I suppose it was hard for him to ignore what I was, and ignoring it was the only way he could stand to be around me.”</p>
<p>“I’m sorry. That must have been hard.”</p>
<p>“It was.” He agreed, with surprising candor. “My father and I were frequently at odds. But he is a good man, I really believe so.”</p>
<p>“Of course he was. I’m not disagreeing there.” Tonks agreed. “I was just wondering, and I was going to say that I’ll stay with you.”</p>
<p>“Oh, no, Dora you don’t have to do that.”</p>
<p>“I want to, I’ll sit right here and keep you company until the moon comes up.”</p>
<p>“I-“he stopped and considered his words. “That would mean a lot to me, but it will be very difficult to watch, and I don’t want you to be upset.”</p>
<p>“I can handle it. Please, Remus, let me be there for you.”</p>
<p>He nodded. “Thank you, Dora, it means more than I can say that you would sit with me through this.”</p>
<p> </p>
<p>This was how Tonks found herself descending the cellar stairs again in the late afternoon. It had been a hard day, despite Remus trying to maintain the façade of being fine, both of them were feeling the emotional strain of the passing of the law, combined with the stress of the first full moon just the two of them. Remus, of course, was also feeling the increasing effects of the moon.</p>
<p>Tonks could not help but feel a cold sense of foreboding taking hold as Remus pulled the heavy cellar doors shut, plunging them into almost total darkness. Tonks lit up the area with a quickly cast lumos while Remus sealed the door with wards. </p>
<p>Just outside of the fenced cage, Remus stripped down to his pants and left his clothes outside of the cell. He’d explained to her he did this, so he didn’t have to keep repairing his clothes too much. Tonks thought it was so very Remus of him that he folded his clothes and placed them neatly in one of the chairs. Remus then let himself into the caged portion of the cellar and it was Tonks’ job to pull the bar across, locking the door. When this at last was done, Remus took a seat on the floor facing the fence. Tonks followed his lead, sitting so they could face each other with the fence between them. Remus was strangely calm about all this, she thought, because it felt horrible to her. But, she supposed, he was used to this.</p>
<p>“Shall I tell you an embarrassing story then? You told me one when we were in Hogsmeade.” Tonks offered, anything to break the oppressive feeling of resignation that had followed them into the cellar.</p>
<p>“Yes, I would love to hear an embarrassing story.” Remus said with a grin.</p>
<p>“Okay. I’ve been in loads of embarrassing situations, unfortunately, so I need to think about which one I should tell you.” She told him as she racked her brain for which story would provide the most entertainment and distraction without causing permanent damage to her ability to look Remus in the eye ever again.</p>
<p>“Alright, I think I’ve got it. Yeah, this is the one. So, its fifth year, I’m getting ready to sit my Divination OWL, right? Me and my mates are so nervous. It was our first ever OWL, plus divination is almost impossible to be really prepared for. Our professor was a real oddball. So we are all crowded together in the little area at the top of the tower under the trap door, just waiting. People are trying to study, but what, tea leaf omens? Mostly we’re just… waiting. I’m never one to tolerate an uncomfortable silence, of any kind, so I start morphing ridiculous facial features to make my friends laugh. Duck bill, elephant trunk, monkey ears, all sorts. People are being called up and coming back and I just keep morphing. Purple tongue, green freckles, anything I can think of or that my friends ask. Then, my name is called. I didn’t even have time to think or anything, I just went. </p>
<p>The whole examination, I was sure I must be absolutely bombing it. My professor was giving me this look, this look that kind of says, are you crazy? Or, what is wrong with you? But I did my very best. At the end, I ask my professor, straight out, if I failed. He looked surprised and told me no, that I’d actually done quite well. So I asked him why he was looking at me so strangely the whole time if it wasn’t because I was doing poorly.</p>
<p>He- He told me that while my answers were quite good, he just hadn’t ever had a student sit their OWLs with a pig snout before!”</p>
<p>Remus let out a choked laugh before he clapped his hand over his mouth to smother his laughter.</p>
<p>“I’d completely forgotten to drop the morph! I can’t believe it. None of my friends tried to stop me either! And the professor just let me go on like that! He wouldn’t have said anything either!”</p>
<p>“You didn’t feel it? Wouldn’t that have felt really…odd?”</p>
<p>“I guess I was so nervous I didn’t even notice.”</p>
<p>Remus was quiet for a moment and Tonks was not sure why, until she saw his shoulders shaking and realized that he was laughing but trying to be silent about it.</p>
<p>“I know, I know. You can laugh, it’s supposed to be a funny story.”</p>
<p>“I wonder what he thought. Your professor, I mean. Why didn’t he say anything? Was that just par for the course with you?”</p>
<p>“Nah, not really. I mean, I made good use of my morphing abilities to mess around at school, but I don’t think it was predictable of me to go into my OWL exam with a pig snout.”</p>
<p>Tonks regaled him with more stories of her morphing disasters such as getting caught morphing into someone by the person she was morphed as, getting caught by her mother when she was morphing comically large breasts for herself, and getting stuck in a morph when she was young and not fully in control of it yet.</p>
<p>“You got stuck?!”</p>
<p>“Yeah. You know how grownups used to always say, ‘careful or your face will freeze like that’? Well, it happened for me. I was terrified I’d be stuck like that forever! But once I’d calmed down, I was able to shift back to normal. Taught me a lesson, though.”</p>
<p>“Oh, I can’t imagine.” Remus said, looking equal parts amused and disturbed at the thought of being stuck in a weird morph. </p>
<p>Tonks watched as the smile slipped from his face and was replaced by an expression of pain. He took a shuddering breath and stood.</p>
<p>“The moon is coming up. You don’t have to stay for this part.” He told her.</p>
<p>“No, I’m staying.”</p>
<p>He gave a tense nod.</p>
<p>“See you at sunrise, then.”</p>
<p>“See you at sunrise.”</p>
<p>Tonks wanted to say that it wasn’t horrible, but it was. She didn’t think she would ever be able to describe what it was like to watch Remus transform. The way his bones shifted, and muscles contorted was horrible, beyond imaginable to describe the grotesque way his body bent and shifted and changed. Perhaps worse than the sights were the sounds of bones breaking and skin tearing. The noises of pain he made were indescribable. It felt like it went on for ages, even though intellectually she knew the whole change only took a few minutes.</p>
<p>When the transformation was over and Tonks found herself sitting on the other side of the fence from a fully transformed werewolf, Tonks found herself more afraid than she thought she would be. She knew she was perfectly safe, and she had studied werewolves plenty in school to know what they looked like and how to defend oneself from one, but seeing one up close, nothing could prepare her for. It was a lot bigger than she had expected, and a lot stronger looking than the appearance would suggest from a distance. She could see that it was not actually skinny as she had thought, it was lean. Pure muscle. </p>
<p>The evening actually passed a lot more uneventfully than she had imagined. Sure, the wolf raged and howled and threw itself at the fence for a good long while which was hard to watch, but eventually it settled down and slept for most of the evening. Tonks hoped he had not hurt himself too badly. She had tried to be a suitable distraction to keep it from turning on itself, but it had managed to claw and bite at itself a few times before she could get its attention.</p>
<p>Tonks was drifting in and out of sleep as dawn approached and the transformation back began. She jolted awake as the wolf’s whimpers turned more into human noises. She stretched and rubbed the sleep from her eyes as his body shifted and changed back into a human man’s, curled up on his side.</p>
<p> Tonks hurried to pull back the bar on the door and go to him. She knelt at his side and gently rested her hand on his shoulder. She looked him over for injuries before hurrying back out for the box of medical supplies. She brought the box back next to him and set to work on a nasty slash on his shoulder. It was quite deep and required some bandaging even after she applied dittany. She also applied dittany to his hands, which were pretty bruised and chewed up.</p>
<p>“Remus?”</p>
<p>He groaned. “Hello”</p>
<p>“Are you hurt anywhere else?”</p>
<p>“No, not significantly, I don’t think.” He said, still slurring his words a little as he moved to sit up.</p>
<p>She smiled at him and brushed his hair out of his eyes. “Let’s get you a blanket then, yeah? Then we can work on getting upstairs.”</p>
<p>She stepped back out of the cell to grab the blanket and brought it back in to cover him up. </p>
<p>“Do you think you can stand?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Yeah. Yeah, I think so.” </p>
<p>It took him a few tries, and he was leaning heavily on her, but he was able to stand, and they slowly made their way out of the cellar and into the house. He immediately collapsed on the bed when they made it to the bedroom.</p>
<p>Tonks sat beside him and stroked his hair for a few long minutes as he recovered before he was able to sit up again.</p>
<p>“Well, we made it through another one.” He said.</p>
<p>“Yeah. How do you feel? I mean, stupid question-“</p>
<p>“No, it’s a fine question. Not too bad considering. The shoulder is quite sore, and my hands are pretty bad. I’m fine though. Don’t worry about me.”</p>
<p>“Please.” She said with a roll of her eyes. “You rest those hands; I’ll reapply the dittany in a few hours. Right now, let’s see about the muscle salve.”</p>
<p>“If you don’t mind.” He acquiesced. She shot him another look. “Could you turn away for a moment please? I just want to secure this blanket a bit better.”</p>
<p>She did as he asked, moving to her medicine kit to get the salve while he tied the blanket securely around his waist.</p>
<p>When he was sufficiently covered up, she rejoined him on the bed and set to work rubbing the salve into his shoulders and back. She recalled the last time she did this for him, and how much had changed since then. It was no longer strange for her to touch him.  She remembered how much he had enjoyed it last time, so she made sure to take it slow and properly massage the muscles of his shoulders and back as she worked. She then moved to kneel in front of him and repeat the process of massaging in the salve along his chest and belly, though a pink blush creeped up his chest and neck as she did that.</p>
<p>He fixed her with an expression so filled with awe and gratitude that she could not help but lean in and kiss him then. It was soft and slow, a reunion kiss after a troubled evening. It was hard not to get lost in the kiss, but she had to remember that she had a job to do, and that Remus was probably in a great deal more pain than he was willing to admit.</p>
<p>She resumed rubbing in the salve, this time working her way up from his feet. He squirmed when she rubbed the salve into his feet, which made her laugh. </p>
<p>“Stop it. It’s not funny.”</p>
<p>“You’re ticklish!”</p>
<p>“Am not! I just don’t like you rubbing my feet.”</p>
<p>“Ticklish.”</p>
<p>“I am not.”</p>
<p>“Are too!’</p>
<p>She grinned, sure she was right. But, she did leave his feet alone and move on to working her way up his calves and around his knees to his thighs. It was as she was working the salve into his thighs that he started to squirm again. </p>
<p>“Is this ticklish too?”</p>
<p>“That wasn’t ticklish! But er- no, this doesn’t tickle.”</p>
<p>She was about to ask what was wrong then, when it occurred to her that she knew exactly what was wrong.</p>
<p>“Oh. You like that.”</p>
<p>He blushed. “What, a beautiful woman who I love, giving me a massage? Of course.”</p>
<p>“Well, I can work with that.” She teased as she resumed her massage. She couldn’t deny she’d been longing to develop a more intimate relationship with him. After last night, she really wanted to be able to show him how good his body could feel, that it wasn’t always for feeling pain. </p>
<p>“Dora- as much as I appreciate it, I- I’m, er- not up to anything particularly exciting today, I’m afraid.” He told her, blushing more.</p>
<p>“Oh. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak?”</p>
<p>“Something like that.”</p>
<p>“Well. Another time then”</p>
<p>“Yeah, another time. We’ve got loads of time to get up to no good, but about all I’m up for right now is a nap.” He admitted.</p>
<p>“Fair enough. I’m looking forward to getting up to no good with you.” She told him with a flirty smile, running her hands up his legs and pressing a kiss to his lips before she pulled away. </p>
<p>She grabbed him his pyjama pants and helped him to pull them on under the blanket. She kissed him softly one more time before she moved to leave the room and let him sleep. </p>
<p>“Sleep well, I’ll bring you something to eat when you wake up.” She told him.</p>
<p>“Thank you.” He told her. “I love you.”</p>
<p>“I love you too” She replied with a smile. </p>
<p>She didn’t think she could ever tire of hearing him say those words. </p>
<p>She headed out to the living room to wait until he next awoke, bolstered by hearing his declaration of love, and, if she was honest, by the anticipation of what sorts of ‘no good’ they would get up to when he was feeling better.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Getting up to no good</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We have finally reached some sexy time!</p><p>Also, I should probably acknowledge that I know the timeline of learning of the prophecy is way off in this fic, as the Order knew all of this by August in OOTP, but I'm hoping you'll be willing to look past the inaccuracy. (sorry). :)</p><p>I'm sorry chapters have slowed down so much, but I'm back in classes and spending 6-8 hours in Zoom sessions, plus assignments and life chores so I have a lot less free time.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It turns out, Remus was feeling much better the next morning. Or at least, she could only assume he was, judging by the morning erection pressing into her belly. They had fallen asleep facing each other, and Tonks found herself cuddled up to him now, one leg curled around him. A few weeks ago, she would have been very embarrassed, but now she felt it was the perfect opportunity to start something new. She remembered the last time they had woken up like this, how embarrassed he’d been. </p><p>Tonks used the leg that was curled around him to pull him closer even as she pressed herself into him. She pressed kisses to his bare shoulder as she felt him stir and wake up.</p><p>She pulled back to look at him with a sultry smile. </p><p>“Good morning.” She greeted him.</p><p>“Good morning indeed.” He said, looking unsure of whether he should pull away or not.</p><p>She decided that they just needed to not overthink this. She leaned in and captured his lips in a firm kiss, sliding her mouth along his. She moved the leg that was around him and instead pushed him back to lie on his back. He moved to sit up against the headboard. Tonks moved to his lap, straddling his hips. He let out a breath as he gripped her hips. </p><p>They kissed hungrily, her tongue seeking entrance into his mouth which he allowed. She sighed as their tongues met, moving together in a hot, wet slide.  Remus’ hands gripped her hips more firmly. Tonks slid one hand into his hair, running her nails along his scalp and making him moan. Tonks pulled away from their kiss and moved to kiss down his neck, sucking on the spot where his jaw met his neck that she knew he liked. She scraped her teeth lightly over the spot and he gasped. He used one hand to turn her head back to him so he could capture her lips again. She didn’t think she would ever tire of the way their mouths moved together.</p><p>When they broke apart for breath again, Remus kissed his way down her neck. He pressed a kiss to her t-shirt clad shoulder. She slid her hands up his bare chest, marvelling at how different this felt from when she was doing it yesterday to massage in the muscle salve. Remus sighed at her touch. He clearly felt the difference as well. Their mouths met again for a heated kiss. </p><p>As they kissed, she noticed that his hands were playing with the hem of her shirt. She pulled back to look at him.</p><p>“Do you want me to take it off?” she asked.</p><p>“Yes.” He said, a hungry look in his eye.</p><p>She lifted the shirt up over her head and tossed it aside, now sitting bare chested in front of him. He looked at her with a heated gaze, his eyes roving over her bare shoulders and her breasts and belly. </p><p>“Merlin you’re gorgeous.”</p><p>She blushed. “I can morph them if you like.” She offered.</p><p>He looked startled. “No! You are absolutely stunning, just like this. I want you to look however you want to look. Don’t ever morph for my sake.”</p><p>Tonks didn’t know what to say. She was used to blokes asking for her to go a size bigger or to morph fuller lips or a certain hair colour.</p><p>“You mean that?”</p><p>“Of course.”</p><p>Tonks wrapped her arms around him and kissed him soundly, trying to infuse all of her love and gratitude into the kiss. Then, just for good measure, she rocked her hips forward to meet his, making him shudder and moan.</p><p>He ran his hands up her front until he cupped one breast in his hand. He covered her breast with one warm hand, feeling the weight of it and the way it fit into the palm of his hand. Then he brushed a thumb across her nipple, and it was her turn to moan. He smiled against her mouth. He brushed his thumb across her nipple again, and then again, then he pinched it gently. She gasped. </p><p>She leaned back slightly to give him more access and he began to kiss down her neck and across her collar bone. He caught her eye with a heated look and then continued to kiss his way to her breast, pressing kisses to one while he fondled the other with his hand. He kissed around it at a tantalizing slow pace, anticipation building along with the tendrils of heat low in her belly as she waited for him to pay some attention to the sensitive nub. Finally, finally, he pressed a kiss to her nipple and then passed his tongue across it. She moaned and shifted her hips so she could press herself against his thigh.</p><p>He passed his tongue over her nipple again, accentuating the move with a pinch to her other nipple. She let out an embarrassing sound that might even be called a whimper. She moved one hand into his hair, tugging at his hair and making him groan. He smiled against her. Remus wrapped his lips around her nipple and sucked gently before he moved away, pressing soft kisses to her breast, or occasionally sucking. </p><p>Remus moved up and captured her lips with his own, kissing her ardently. Remus then kissed his way back down her neck and began to give her other breast the same treatment. The slow pace was driving her mad. She wanted…something. He was driving her to distraction with the slow, gentle attention he was paying her. She could feel a throbbing heat building between her legs, and she wondered if his experience extended as far as that. She wondered if he would consider her a complete tart if she asked him to give her some relief. As he gave another pinch to her nipple and another pulse of heat and need responded between her legs, she decided she was willing to risk it and ask.</p><p>Before she could open her mouth to voice any kind of request, the sound of the fireplace roaring to life startled them both. </p><p>“Hello? It’s just me!” Sirius called from the sitting room.</p><p>“Shit! I forgot he said he would come by this morning.” Tonks cursed, scrambling out of Remus’ lap and looking for her shirt. </p><p>“Can’t we just pretend we’re not in?” Remus begged, reaching for her and trying to pull her back into bed.</p><p>“No! You want him to walk in on us?” She chastised him, though she was certain she knew only too well his frustration at being interrupted.</p><p>“Just a second, Sirius!” Remus called out. He was running his hands through his hair trying to correct some of the disorder Tonks had caused there. His lips looked a little red and Tonks knew there was no way Sirius was going to miss it. </p><p>Tonks found her shirt and pulled it on. Remus was up and out of bed looking for a shirt as well. Tonks could see that there was no way he could come out to the living room just yet though, as she could clearly see how hard he still was in the tenting of his pyjama pants.</p><p>Remus caught her looking and blushed. “Stall him, would you? I’m going to need another minute.”</p><p>Tonks grinned at him. Inwardly, she was cursing her cousin and his bad timing. She tried to put on an air of calm as she stepped out of the bedroom and went to the sitting room to greet her cousin.</p><p>“Morning.” She greeted him.</p><p>His eyes narrowed as he took in her appearance and then he broke into a grin. “Good morning. I’d ask how Remus is feeling but he’s obviously not doing too bad.”</p><p>“Shut it. You woke us up. Remus will be out in a minute.” </p><p>“Interrupted you is more like, but sure let’s go with ‘woke you up’.”<br/>
“Would you like a cup of coffee?”</p><p>“Yes, thanks.”</p><p>“Alright then, I’ll put a pot on, but you better shut your mouth from now on, or you’ll be wearing your cup, you hear?”</p><p>He held up his hands in mock surrender. “Whatever you say, boss.”</p><p>They both moved into the kitchen and Tonks went through the motions of putting a pot of coffee on, hoping Remus would come out soon and that Sirius would keep his word and not keep making fun of them.</p><p>Just as the coffee pot beeped to let them know it was ready, Remus joined them in the kitchen, pointedly not meeting Sirius’ eye.</p><p>“Good morning, Padfoot.”</p><p>“Good morning indeed.” He pulled a face at Tonks when she glared at him. “How did the moon treat you?”</p><p>“Not too bad. Messed up this shoulder pretty good, but its already feeling better.” Remus told him. “What was the situation that kept you at Grimmauld the other night?”</p><p>Tonks passed them both their coffees and picked up her own as she turned her attention to hear this.</p><p>“Your intel about the Department of Mysteries was a big break through, we were able to piece together some of the intel we’ve been picking up, and some knowledge from the last war, and we think we know what their after. That’s what the other night was about, presenting findings to Dumbledore and seeing what we can do about it.” Sirius informed them. “We think he’s after the prophecy.”</p><p>“The prophecy…as in Harry’s prophecy?” Remus asked, looking grave.</p><p>“Yes.”</p><p>“What’s Harry’s prophecy?” Tonks asked.</p><p>“Fifteen years ago, shortly after Harry was born, we learned of a prophecy.” Sirius took a deep breath and then repeated, “’The one with the power to vanquish the dark lord approaches, born as the seventh month dies to those who have thrice before defied him.’ Only problem was, this was leaked to the other side as well. It became clear rather quickly that Voldemort thought this meant Harry. What the dark lord didn’t know, was what the rest of the prophecy said. ‘and the dark lord shall mark him as his equal, but he shall have a power the dark lord knows not’”</p><p>“Which, I presume, means the protection Lily Potter gave her son?” Tonks asked.</p><p>The two men nodded, they were clearly very aware of the prophecy and it was a difficult memory for them.</p><p>“Then why does it matter if they get their hands on it now, if both sides already know what it says?” she asked.</p><p>“We don’t know what it says, not everything. There were two more lines, but only Dumbledore, James, and Lily knew what they were. And three can keep a secret if two of them are dead. I have no idea what the last two lines were, James wouldn’t say, even though we never kept secrets from one another. I just know whatever it is, it must be something awful. I’d never seen James so upset, and Lily didn’t get out of bed for days after, she just laid in bed and cried.” Sirius said, his face creased with pain at the memory.</p><p>“What’s the next step?” Remus asked. “What can we do?”</p><p>“Dumbledore is calling a meeting soon, but we’re going to be setting up a rotating guard outside the Department of Mysteries for the foreseeable future. Beyond that, I don’t know what Dumbledore’s plans are.” There was a note of bitterness in his voice.</p><p>“Alright then.” Tonks said.</p><p>“Now that we know what their after, and where it is, we are in a much better position than we were in before.” Remus said, sounding as though he was trying to reassure himself as much as trying to reassure them.</p><p>“Maybe if we knew what the last two lines of the prophecy were, we’d be better prepared. But Dumbledore flat out refused. Wouldn’t even consider it.”</p><p>“He has his reasons. We can’t have the final two lines getting to the other side. We never suspected a traitor last time and look where it got us. I imagine he’s just being cautious.” Remus reasoned.</p><p>Sirius nodded but he was clearly still unhappy to be kept in the dark.</p><p>The atmosphere in the kitchen was subdued as they finished their coffees and bid farewell to Sirius, who was going to head back and see if he could gather anything else that would be of use to them.</p><p>“Well that thoroughly killed the mood.” Tonks stated, trying to lighten some of the dark atmosphere.</p><p>“I’ll say.” Remus said. “I just hate being so… so helpless, in the dark. It’s the not knowing that makes things so frustrating and- frightening.”</p><p>Tonks wrapped her arms around him and pulled him into a tight hug. She understood the way he felt because it was the same way she felt, and there were few words that could be of comfort. They had each other though, and they could be present for one another. They could offer each other nothing more comforting than companionship through the dark.</p><p> </p><p>It was much later in the afternoon that either of them had any inclination to return to that morning’s activities. It was Remus who initiated it this time. Sort of. Tonks considered it a win, anyways.  They were sitting on the couch reading, and Remus kept shooting glances at her. Tonks waited for him to say something but mostly he just kept peaking over at her and looking away.</p><p>“Can I help you?” she asked, amused.</p><p>“Uh, no, no, I’m fine.”</p><p>“Why do you keep looking over at me, then?”</p><p>“Just checking your still there?” he tried.</p><p>She fixed him with a look.</p><p>“Ah, would you think poorly of me if I said I was just thinking about this morning?” he asked, sheepishly.</p><p>She grinned. “Not at all. I can’t get this morning out of my head either. Would you like to finish off what we started?”</p><p>“I never like to leave something unfinished.” He replied.</p><p>It was as though there was a magnetic field pulling them together, the relief Tonks felt as she climbed into his lap and kissed him was as though they had been dragging their heels and fighting that pull all day, though she would say she hadn’t noticed it that much until just now.</p><p>They explored each other’s mouths, their bodies pressed together. The tension and anticipation caused by their interrupted dalliance this morning made everything seem more intense. </p><p>“If we’re really trying to continue where we left off, I suppose we should be wearing less clothes, huh?” Tonks asked, hoping this would not be too bold for Remus.</p><p>He blushed but nodded. “That sounds fair. For accuracy’s sake.” </p><p>Tonks lifted her shirt over her head and then reached behind her to unhook her bra, sliding the straps down her shoulders with slightly more showmanship than was really required, and then tossed that garment aside. Now she was just as nude as she had been this morning, wearing only pants and her underwear.</p><p>Remus was just watching her, his expression somewhat awed. Tonks wasn’t sure she’d ever get over being looked at like that.</p><p>“Your turn.” She said, eager for them to both be shirtless again.</p><p>He hesitated. “Dora- why don’t I keep my shirt on?”</p><p>“Why would you want to do that?” she asked, running her hands up under his shirt. “I want to feel your skin.” </p><p>“Well, I’m not much to look at.” He admitted, avoiding her gaze.</p><p>“I like looking at you. This has never bothered you before.” She said, wondering what had changed.</p><p>“Well, I’ve not really been shirtless around you very much, have I? at least, not with the lights on. And not in this context.” He admitted.</p><p>“Oh, Remus. I think you’ve got a gorgeous body. I mean it.” She said, stopping his objections. “I really do like the feeling of your skin against mine. But if you aren’t comfortable being shirtless yet I can respect that. You don’t have to take your shirt off if you don’t want to.”</p><p>He bit his lip, looking uncertain, but then he unbuttoned his shirt and shrugged it off. Tonks beamed at him and leaned in to kiss him. She ran her hands up his bare chest, feeling the smooth skin there, with some raised parts where scars crossed it. She pressed forward so their chests were pressed together and felt his sharp intake of breath against her mouth.</p><p>“See? Skin against skin.” She whispered.</p><p>His only response was to kiss her and slip his tongue into her mouth to play with hers. They kissed like this for a few minutes before he pulled back to look at her, drinking in the view.</p><p>“If we are picking off where we left off, I believe…I was…somewhere…here…” he said as he mouthed his way down her neck and chest to take one of her nipples in his mouth. She arched into the wet warmth of his mouth and groaned.</p><p>He smiled into her and brought his other hand up to massage her other breast, rubbing his thumb across one nipple while he swiped his tongue across the other. Tonks slid one hand into his hair to anchor him in place.</p><p>She felt as though all the pleasure of this morning, as well as the anticipation of the day, were coursing through her, making everything stronger. She could already feel the curling heat of arousal building low in her belly.</p><p>She became lost in the sensations he was providing with his mouth and tongue, an exquisite slow build-up of pleasure as he lavished attention on her breasts, occasionally pressing heated kisses to her mouth. She shifted to press herself more firmly into his thigh to try to get some relief from the growing ache between her legs. She slid her hands up his chest and his back, or scratched her nails along his scalp, wanting to share some of this pleasure with him. </p><p>Tonks braved the question she had been about to ask that morning before the were interrupted. She placed her hand over his free hand, meeting his gaze and moving his hand down her chest, letting it go once it was placed at the waistband of her pants. She bit her lip and met his gaze, hoping he would understand what she wanted.</p><p>“Oh. You want me to…?” he asked.</p><p>She nodded. “Please.”</p><p>He unbuttoned her pants hesitantly, as though he was worried that she would change her mind. She shifted to allow him to pull them down. It was an awkward shuffling around before she stood up from his lap and kicked off her pants and panties in one go before sitting back in his lap.</p><p>She would have laughed at the expression on his face if she wasn’t so aroused, and if the air wasn’t practically sparking with the electric tension between them. He kissed her passionately, placing his hands on her hips and feeling the bare skin there for a few moments. He allowed one hand to drift from her hip in towards the space she most wanted him to touch. He moved his hand closer and closer to where she wanted it and she let her hips fall open a bit more to allow him access, but he drew his hand away instead and ran it teasingly up and down the inside of one thigh, and the other hand moved to do the same to the other leg.</p><p>She huffed at him and he smiled into the kiss. On the next pass one hand did not stop but instead continued, slipping a probing finger into her slick folds and making her gasp. He moved the finger around until he found what he was looking for and focused on it. </p><p>Tonks wanted to enjoy it, she really did, but the angle was awkward, and it wasn’t nearly enough to get her there.</p><p>“Here. Just a sec.” she said breathlessly, moving from his lap and settling down next to him so she was laying back with her head on the arm rest. She was able to open her hips much wider this way.</p><p>He looked a little nervous about this change of position, but he shifted until he was sitting on his heels between her legs. He again slid a finger between her folds, starting at her entrance where he gathered up some of the moisture there before moving his finger up to the little nub of her clit. He passed his finger over it ever so slowly. He circled it, passed his finger over it, all at this maddening slow pace. She could feel the coil of heat building up low in her belly and the tension in her legs.</p><p>He slid his other hand up to fondle her breast, but his eyes and his focus was all between her legs. He moved his finger back down to her entrance and gathered more moisture before drawing it up to draw last figure eights around her clit with his finger. He passed his finger over her clit with such a feather light touch he couldn’t be sure it had happened, and then on the next pass he pressed, eliciting a choked moan from her at the fantastic pressure and slight friction from the worn pad of his finger.</p><p>He rubbed his finger over her clit again with more pressure and the muscles in her thighs twitched. He began to set a slow pace with firm strokes, occasionally mixing it up and passing over her clit with a fast pace, all with that same firm pressure. She was vaguely aware of the obscene noises she was making, and the way she had a death grip on the arm of the couch, but she couldn’t bring herself to care. She could feel her orgasm building up as he drove her to distraction.</p><p>She was so caught up in the mind-numbing pleasure that she almost didn’t notice he had moved his other hand until she felt a finger at her entrance. When she looked at him, he was looking at her as though asking for permission.</p><p>“Please, Remus, please, you’re going to make me cum.” She moaned, her head dropping back on the armrest.</p><p>He slid a finger inside her and drew it back out again, looking at the sticky fluid that now coated his finger. He slid his finger back in and set up a steady pace between his hands, one finger pushing in and out of her and one stroking her clit. She began to rock her hips towards him slightly, meeting his motions. He slid in a second finger and continued pumping them in and out and Tonks could feel her thighs begin to shake as her orgasm began to build up. She was moaning unintelligible encouragements to him as he picked up the pace a little. Her whole body was alight with pleasure, her legs shook, and electric fire burned through her as her orgasm over took her. Wave upon wave of pleasure passed over her, and the intensity was only increased by the way he continued to move his fingers through her orgasm, even though she could not find the voice to ask him to.</p><p>He slowed his movements and stopped after a few moments, after the aftershocks of pleasure had passed.</p><p>“Wipe that look off your face, you smug bastard.” She told him, though without force behind the words. She smiled at him, feeling warm and boneless. </p><p>“What? I’m just glad you enjoyed that.” </p><p>“hmm. I’m sure.” She said, sitting up and leaning in to kiss him.</p><p>She loved the feeling of kissing his smiling mouth. She reached for the button on his pants, but he intercepted her and pushed her hand away. She tried to object.</p><p>“Shhh, I just want you to feel good.” He murmured. “Do you want to go to bed?”</p><p>“But you- you haven’t…”</p><p>“I want to hold you, everything else can wait.” </p><p>They got up and hurried through their nighttime routines and got into bed together. Tonks snuggled right up to him and he pulled her close. She loved the thought of cuddling up to him without worries tonight. However, the insistent press of his still-hard erection dampened the enjoyment of the moment. </p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want me to…?” she offered.</p><p>“I’m fine, it’ll settle down in a minute.” He assured her. “Uh- Maybe we should- lie the other way around?” he asked.</p><p>They shifted about until Tonks was cuddling up against Remus’ back, the big spoon. It was nice actually, to press her chest against the solid warmth of his back and feel the way his chest expanded with each breath. She could press kisses to his shoulder blades from here too. She smiled into his shoulder, not quite able to believe this was not a dream. She was married to a man she loved, who loved her, and he had just given her what might have been the best orgasm of her life, and now they were cuddled together in their bed and she got to be the big spoon.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Journey to Reciprocation</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter is mostly just sex with some dialogue. (sorry not sorry). This story is only going to have one or two more chapters, just a warning!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonks wanted to blame the orgasms that turned her brain to mush for the fact that it took her a few days to notice that Remus was avoiding all her attempts at reciprocation. They had found several more chances for intimacy, and Remus proved himself to be a generous lover and a quick learner, as he got better and better at knowing what she liked and what drove her absolutely wild with desire.</p>
<p>It wasn’t until a few days, almost a full week, after they first started this new level of intimacy together that she realized. She was lying in bed, basking in the afterglow of another mind-numbing orgasm and Remus had just slipped away for a quick shower before bed. It was as he climbed back into bed and she put her arms around him and felt that he was icy cold that the realization hit. Of course, she had known she hadn’t reciprocated yet, but he hadn’t asked, and he always brushed her attempts to reach for him away with some reason or excuse. (“Stop trying to distract me”, “just let me look after you”, “aren’t you tired? I can wait.”, “I just remembered I need to go finish this report…”). </p>
<p>He was a terrible tease, she thought to herself. Maybe that was his thing? Maybe he was into denial? Somehow, she was guessing that that was not the case.</p>
<p>She hadn’t addressed it that night, she didn’t want to make him uncomfortable and she didn’t want to ruin the cozy, cuddly moment they had been having. She decided she would initiate things and start with the focus on him, and if he still turned her away, she would ask him about it.</p>
<p>With this plan of action in mind, Tonks made sure she was focusing on him the next time they were lying in bed snogging. Tonks broke away from the kiss and began kissing along his jaw, sucking on the spot where his jaw met his neck that he enjoyed. She kissed and sucked at his neck, loving the warmth of his body and the smell of his skin. Tonks nibbled at his ear lobe which made his breath catch. She swung one leg over his lap so that she was straddling him, which made him let out a small sound of pleasure though he tried to contain it. She could feel the warm press of his erection against her. </p>
<p>He had become more comfortable with being shirtless around her lately, which she appreciated now as she ran her hands up and down his chest, running her thumbs across his nipples. She ran one hand across his lower belly, using her nails to gently scrape. He groaned and gripped her hip with one hand, tangling the other in her hair and drawing her to him for a heated kiss. He slid one hand up her bare chest to cup her breast in his hand, beginning to play with her nipple. It took a lot of willpower to shrug him off.</p>
<p>He looked at her questioningly.</p>
<p>“I want to touch you. Just let me take care of you.” She moaned. She accentuated this by slipping her fingers under the waistband of his pajamas just slightly, not touching him just yet but close enough that she could feel the heat radiating off of his erection.</p>
<p>He tensed, eyeing her warily. “Oh. Right. Um.” </p>
<p>This was not the response of someone who was totally into the idea. She pulled her hand back and moved to sit beside him.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong?” she asked.</p>
<p>“Nothing. You can do whatever you like.”</p>
<p>“But you don’t want me to”</p>
<p>“It’s not that I don’t want it. It isn’t that.” He ran a hand through his hair and looked away. “I’m just… worried I guess.”</p>
<p>“Worried about what?”</p>
<p>“It’s embarrassing to say.”</p>
<p>“Shall I guess then? Are you worried about…size?”</p>
<p>He looked alarmed. “No.- well, I wasn’t before you asked…”</p>
<p>Oh great, another thing for him to worry about. “Please. I’ve felt enough to tell you that that’s not a problem.”</p>
<p>He looked pleased and gave her a quick, cocky grin.</p>
<p>“Are you worried you won’t enjoy it?”</p>
<p>“No, I think that won’t be a problem.” </p>
<p>He rubbed his hands along his thighs and seemed to be working himself up to saying something. “I guess I’m worried about a couple of things. First, I’m worried that you touching me is something you can’t take back. I mean, are you sure you’ve thought this through? If you change your mind about all this, if you wake up one day horrified at the thought that you ever liked me, it will be worse if you’ve willingly touched me. Gotten me off. It’s one thing to let a werewolf show you a good time, it would prove all those rumours about lecherous beasts who can’t keep their hands to themselves. But if you willingly did things for a werewolf, you wanted to get a werewolf off… that would be harder to explain away.”</p>
<p>Tonks desperately wanted to interrupt him and tell him how absolutely untrue all of that was, but she knew that it was cathartic for him to explain it to her, and it would help her to know his full thought process.</p>
<p>“I know you want to disagree, Dora, but I need you to hear me out. I know you don’t care about reputation and what other people think, but I do. I just can’t bear the thought of the judgement you would receive for- for being intimate with me. Just because I couldn’t control myself. If I can just have a little bit of self-control, then…then you won’t be- tainted. That’s the first thing.” He looked to her now to hear her response.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you already know I’m going to tell you that that’s all wrong, I hope that means I’m getting through to you. You know very well that I have no intention of changing my mind so you can just forget about that part.” Tonks said wryly. “I know this is coming from a place of love, that you are always trying to protect me, but I don’t need or want to be protected from you. I love you and I want to be with you in all ways, and sex is an expression of that love. Besides, we are married, remember? The time where we could have convinced people we weren’t having sex went out the window ages ago.”</p>
<p>Remus was quiet for a few moments while he considered her words. Tonks really hoped that she was getting through to him. </p>
<p>“I just- I’ve always hated the perception of werewolves as slaves to their baser desires. That we’re animals with some kind of violent sexual appetite. I don’t want you to start seeing me differently if we go further.”</p>
<p>“I don’t think that. I won’t. I know you, and I know what you’re like and it’s not any of those things. I want to touch you because I love you and I want a deeper connection with you, and I want to make you feel good. You’ve made it clear that you won’t push for anything I don’t want.”</p>
<p>“Are you sure?” He looked hopeful but still nervous.</p>
<p>“Yes. Sex is about love and enjoying each other. Not to everybody, I guess. But that’s what it is to me.” Tonks told him. “I understand that we are approaching new territory for you, and that you have spent a long time denying yourself this. I understand that you are dealing with worries that I’ve never had to have. You just let me know what you need, what I can do. I also understand that there are things you’re not ready for yet, and I want you to tell me those things too. We do this at your pace.”</p>
<p>“Okay. I can set the pace.” He nodded to himself, seeming relieved by this. “Wait- does that mean- what if I want to keep doing what we’re doing but maybe not more yet? We can still do that, right?”</p>
<p>She grinned at his concern. “Yeah, love, we can keep doing what we’ve been doing.”</p>
<p>“Good.”</p>
<p>“You said that was the first thing. What else are you worried about?”</p>
<p>“I’m worried it will be over too quickly.” He said this all in one breath, as if saying it as quickly as possible would embarrass him less. Tonks was charmed by the way he blushed when he said it.</p>
<p>“The first couple of times it probably will be pretty quick.” She told him. “I know that. The goal is for you to enjoy yourself, so what does it matter how long it takes for that to happen? I’ll consider it a compliment to my skills.”</p>
<p>“Merlin, it’s embarrassing though.” He gave a nervous chuckle.</p>
<p>“I promise not to pass no judgements on speed.” She promised with grandeur.</p>
<p>“Hey now, don’t mock me.” He reproached her, though he was smiling.</p>
<p>“I’m glad you’ve shared your worries for me. I want you to always be able to tell me what’s bothering you.” She told him earnestly.</p>
<p>A strange expression moved across his face, as though he went from being moved by her words to thinking something mischievous. “What if I said what was bothering me at the moment…was that we didn’t finish what we were up to earlier?”</p>
<p>She grinned. “I would say that we could rectify that immediately.” She moved to straddle him again, sitting in his lap and kissing him soundly. </p>
<p>When they broke the kiss, he smiled and cupped her cheek in his hand, looking at her with that same awed expression he had sometimes. “I- I just want to take care of you this time, alright?” he explained.</p>
<p>“No objections here.” She told him, very pleased that he was already willing to vocalize his needs. </p>
<p>They kissed hungrily, their tongues sliding together. Tonks tangled one hand in his hair, making sure to rake her nails along his scalp in a way that always pulled a groan from him. Remus, in return, slid his hands up her back under her shirt, revelling in the how soft and smooth her skin was. They kissed like this for what felt like hours, just enjoying the feel of each other.</p>
<p>“Can you lie back love?” Remus asked when he eventually pulled away for breath. </p>
<p>Tonks raised her eyebrows but did as he asked, stopping to take off her shirt before moving to lie on her back. He followed her, propping himself up on his elbows to rest between her legs, keeping his weight off of her. He began kissing a wet trail down her neck and across her chest until he took one of her nipples into his mouth and began lavishing attention to it. Tonks scraped her nails gently along his scalp the way he liked in encouragement. He could do truly wicked things with his mouth. The warm wetness of his mouth on one breast and the friction of his calloused fingers on the other created a delicious blend of pleasure, the contrasting feelings seeming to amplify each other.</p>
<p>He began to kiss a wet trail down her belly to the edge of her pants, and then he blew on the wet trail he had just made, creating a wet-cool sensation that made her shiver. He kissed another trail down, stopping to press kisses to her left hip, and then her right. </p>
<p>He looked up at her as his hands went to the button on her pants. She bit her lip as she watched him. </p>
<p>“Dora?” he asked, somewhat breathlessly. “Can- can I use my mouth?”</p>
<p>A surge of pleasure flowed through her when he asked that. She nodded vigorously. “Yeah, please.”</p>
<p>He undid the button on her pants and drew them down and off her legs, moving in immediately to press a kiss to the inside of one of her knees. He kissed there again, and then began to kiss up her thigh, stopping just short of where she wanted. He kept repeating this, kissing up close and then retreating, until she wanted to wallop him. She warned him she would do just that if he didn’t get on with it, which made him shoot her a cheeky grin.</p>
<p>Finally, finally, he looked up at her as he pressed a kiss to her centre through her panties. The visual, and the feeling, drew a moan from her. He blew a hot breath onto her through her panties and she moaned again. It had been far too long since a man had been willing to do this for her. Remus slid her panties down and off her legs. Tonks dropped her legs open to the sides and drew her knees up slightly to give him as much access as possible. </p>
<p>She expected him to tease her and draw it out for ages, but she was pleasantly surprised when he did not. He dipped his tongue in between her folds, lapping at the moisture at her centre, before he licked a strip up to her clit and gave it a firm stroke with his tongue. She shuddered. He licked again and again, then drew back to circle around her clit but avoided touching it. </p>
<p>She squirmed but he placed a hand on her hip to hold her still. He flicked his tongue rapidly back and forth over her clit making her cry out and buck up against his mouth. He slowed the pace and flattened his tongue against her, moving slowly but applying pressure. He went back and forth between fast and light, and slow with pressure for a while, taking her to the edge and then backing off but keeping her keyed up. Electric heat was buzzing through her arms and legs and she realized she was on the edge of coming apart, after only a few minutes. </p>
<p>“Remus, I’m close… please…” she groaned.</p>
<p>He flicked his tongue rapidly in response, making her hips come up of the bed and nonsensical noises come from her mouth. Just when she thought she couldn’t take any more he changed tactics and instead wrapped his lips around the nub and sucked.</p>
<p>Her world exploded; waves of pleasure flowed through her body as her orgasm overtook her. She was vaguely aware of the way she was gasping his name, like a prayer.</p>
<p>It took her a long time to come down, but eventually she was able to form coherent thought again. She smiled at Remus and gave stretch. It took her a moment to realize that Remus was not quite so relaxed. </p>
<p>“Dora…Can- Can- What if I’ve changed my mind?” he asked. </p>
<p>“Changed your mind about what?” she asked drowsily.</p>
<p>“About not wanting you to touch me this time.” </p>
<p>She sat up so she could look at him. “You mean that? You want me to touch you?”</p>
<p>“Yes. Yes, please touch me.” He asked desperately, crashing their lips together in a heated kiss. Tonks gave into it for a few moments before she pulled back. </p>
<p>“Scoot back, love. Sit up against the headboard for me, yeah?” she directed him.</p>
<p>He moved back until he was sitting comfortably, and she moved to sit next to him.</p>
<p>She kissed him slowly as she felt his wildly beating heart slow to a more normal pace. As much as she wanted to dive right in, she needed to make sure he really wanted this, and it wasn’t arousal clouding his judgement. Also, she wanted to have a decent opportunity to feel him and enjoy the act, and if she were to start touching him right away it would probably be over in a few strokes. Once his heart rate had slowed to a more normal pace, she pulled back to check in with him.</p>
<p>Unfortunately, time to cool down also meant time for nerves to set in for him. “Is this too fast? Is it bad I’ve changed my mind?” he asked her anxiously. </p>
<p>“You make me feel so good. I want to make you feel good too, do you still want that?” she asked.</p>
<p>He nodded. “Yes. Yes please. Anything.”</p>
<p>“Then it’s not too fast. It’s just right.” </p>
<p>She placed her hand on his thigh, near his knee, and ran it up his leg, over the rigid outline of his erection, not stopping until she reached the button on his trousers. She could practically feel the pulse of his erection through his trousers. He let out a choked moan. This was probably not going to take very much at all. She was looking forward to really showing off her skills at this and really rocking his world, but it might take some time before he lasted long enough for that, she realized.</p>
<p>She flicked open the button on his trousers and he lifted his hips to allow her to pull them down far enough for him to kick them off. She decided to forgo any more teasing, he clearly didn’t need it, and pulled off his briefs as well. </p>
<p>He was finally uncovered before her, and she took in the sight of him. He was bigger than she had expected, the kind of size you expected on the sort of man who would spend half his breath making sure you knew how much he was working with. Long and thick, with just a dribble of precum at the tip. </p>
<p>She glanced up and caught Remus looking at her warily. “Stop it. You’re huge, you know.”</p>
<p>She wrapped her hand around his length, eliciting another groan from him, and gave a firm stroke from base to tip, circling her thumb around the head when she got to the top to gather up the moisture there and paint it down the shaft as she drew her hand down. She could see the tension in his thighs, and in the way that he had the sheets in a death grip. </p>
<p>She gave another long stroke from base to tip, moving her other hand to cup his balls, rolling them slightly in her hand and applying just a little pressure. He bucked his hips up into her hand, gasping.</p>
<p>Tonks took a look at his face to try and judge how much time she had left, and then she sped up the movement of her hand, dragging her hand from base to tip faster and faster. Remus’ thighs began to shake, and he was mumbling incoherent encouragements. She rubbed her thumb across the head. His whole body tensed, and he barely had a chance to gasp out a semblance of a warning before he was pulsing and coming in thick spurts over her hand and onto his belly. Tonks continued stroking gently through the aftershocks but pulled away before it turned painful. </p>
<p>Tonks used her clean hand to stroke his hair as his breathing slowed. She kissed the top of his head softly. She whispered soft words to him.</p>
<p>After a few moments, when he had his breathing under control, he straightened up to look at her. </p>
<p>“Thank you.” He breathed out, looking at her with wide-eyed amazement.</p>
<p>If she were with anyone else, she might have laughed and thought that it sounded lame, but with Remus she felt no such judgement. </p>
<p>“I’m always happy to make you feel good.” She replied. “How are you feeling now?”</p>
<p>“Good. Tired. Sticky.” He replied, blushing slightly. </p>
<p>She grinned. “I’ll just go get us something to clean up, then we can sleep.”</p>
<p>She hopped out of bed and went to the bathroom to wash her hands and get a washcloth for Remus. She brought it back to the bedroom and passed it to him so he could clean himself up with and then tossed it in the hamper. </p>
<p>They curled up together and turned out the lights. Tonks knew that sex would not solve all their problems, and that Remus would still have anxiety and doubts and feelings of guilt, but for right now they were able to truly be with one another, in every way, and it felt good.</p>
<p>“I love you.” Remus murmured in the dark.</p>
<p>“I love you.” Tonks responded, meaning those words more than she could say.</p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. The End</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Well friends, we have made it to the end of the story. Thank you all for your patience, I know this chapter has been delayed for far too long. This chapter is a jumble of thoughts but I hope you get where I was going with it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tonks never would have imagined that in just a few months her life could change so much. She couldn’t believe that she had only thought of Remus as a friend just a few short weeks ago. However, having done a fair bit of introspection on the matter, Tonks realized that her feelings for Remus were more than just friendly for a lot longer than she realized.</p>
<p>As their relationship shifted from fake to reality, they had to make some changes. After a lot of consideration, Tonks decided it was necessary to tell her parents the full truth of their relationship, that it had been pretend at the start but that it had developed into something real now. Andromeda and Ted had taken the revelation reasonably well, considering. Neither particularly liked that they had been lied to but with clarification for the secrecy and the rush came a greater willingness to accept the relationship itself.</p>
<p>Andromeda was still feeling guilty over her initial harsh reaction to Remus, and she was trying her best to make it up to him now. She went out of her way to engage him in conversation, offer cooking tips, ask for his recipes, discuss the weather, really anything she could think of to try to convey that she was being accepting without actually having to have a conversation on the matter. The Black family was not particularly well known for their ability to express emotional vulnerability.</p>
<p>The Order was surprised but understanding, everyone in the room knew about duty and it seemed this made the marriage more tolerable for some. The issue that lingered was convincing some in the Order that there were true feelings between them now and that it was not still pretend. Tonks tried not to let people’s inability to believe she and Remus could be in love bother her, but it did a bit. </p>
<p>Sirius was never going to let them hear the end of it. If you listened to him, which Remus was always advising no one should ever do, he was the one they should be thanking for their present happiness. Without him, they never would have gone through with the plan, they never would have realized their feelings for each other, and couldn’t be where they were now. Tonks denied this categorically. Dumbledore was responsible for the plan, and Remus and Tonks for following through with it. Remus was aware of his feelings for Tonks even if he wasn’t willing to acknowledge them, and Tonks would have figured out her feelings eventually. </p>
<p>Life at home did not change very much for the new couple, other than being sickeningly happy, torn between blissful domesticity and playful intimacy. They were so in sync with how they moved about the house, how they each knew the part they played in the chores and no one felt overburdened with chores or resentful of the way the other did things. Tonks wondered at how that had once been one of her biggest concerns about marriage. She always heard married couples complain about how one spouse did something that drove the other up the wall, or they never did this around the house which drove the other up the wall, or just a general dissatisfaction with living with another person. Tonks was very glad that her and Remus did not have this issue.</p>
<p>Not to say neither one of them had annoying habits. Remus was forever leaving cups of tea about the place, and Tonks hogged the bathroom. Remus folded everything, all of his clothes, even some of her clothes which just made her feel like a slob. In turn, he probably didn’t like that she rarely folded anything. Despite their differences, neither one complained, they seemed to just adapt and continue on.</p>
<p>They spent their free time as they always did before, except instead of reading at opposite ends of the couch, they would now read with Tonks tucked up against Remus, or with her head in his lap, and in other pursuits they just found reasons to be close to one another rather than keeping a controlled distance between themselves like before.</p>
<p>Remus was still nervous about intimacy, and Tonks was definitely still taking the lead in that respect, but she didn’t mind at all. </p>
<p>She had introduced him to the idea of showering together and was pleased that he took great delight in the opportunity to touch her body freely and to have her touch his body freely. The act of washing each other was always a means to an end to her before, a cheeky way of starting something sexual or a way of reducing the mess. However, with Remus, Tonks had begun to take delight in the comfort of being together with him in the enclosed space of the shower, warmed by the water and their hands as they took care to soap each other up and wash each other clean. In fact, her goal was not always sexual for asking him to shower with her.</p>
<p>Not to say that they didn’t indulge in intimacy after they worked each other up with their teasing touches. Remus was particularly fond of teasing her, but he would always make it worth her while and finish driving her to distraction by dropping to his knees and using his mouth to get her off, or to press himself up against her back and use his hand. In turn, he would occasionally ask her to get him off and she was only too happy to oblige. She particularly savoured the memory of the first time she sucked him off, which had been in the shower.</p>
<p>They had finished soaping each other up and were washing the soap off each other. She could see how hard he was, flushed dark pink and standing at attention. When they first began showering together, he had been nervous to get aroused and embarrassed when he couldn’t control his body’s reaction. He had gradually grown less embarrassed of it, and she was pleased that he could now face her in the shower with a hard on without looking worried about how she would respond. </p>
<p>She stepped forward to press her body to his, bringing their lips together for a sensual kiss. As she ran her hands up and down his wet chest. They kissed languidly for several long minutes, mouths sliding together as hands continued to explore each other’s body, now in pursuit of pleasure rather than cleanliness. Tonks kissed her way along his jaw and down his throat to press kisses to his collarbones. She ran her thumbs over his nipples, listening to the way he sighed when she did so. </p>
<p>She sunk even lower, fully to her knees in front of him. He blinked owlishly at her, as though he had no idea what she might have planned. His erection gave him away though, as from her kneeling position she could see the way his arousal throbbed at her new position. </p>
<p>“Dora, you don’t have to –“ </p>
<p>“I want to, please?” she asked, running her hands up his thighs and over his hips as she looked up at him.</p>
<p>He regarded her thoughtfully. “You really want to?”</p>
<p>She didn’t respond with words but instead with a heated look and a kiss to his left hip. He groaned and looked away for a moment.</p>
<p>“I- I don’t want you to feel that you have to, but if you want to-“<br/>
“Remus. I want to.” She told him, accentuating it with a kiss to his right hip this time.</p>
<p>He groaned and nodded his assent.</p>
<p>She grinned. She peppered kisses from the outside of his left hip to the outside of his right hip, skirting as close to his cock as she dared. He gasped and bit his lip. She moved and began kissing a trail up each thigh this time, again skirting close to his cock but not yet touching it. He groaned in frustration.</p>
<p>She repeated the trail up his left thigh, but instead of kissing her way up, she licked a broad stripe from his knee right to the base of his cock, making him jump and then shudder and groan. </p>
<p>She pulled back and shot him a sultry grin, pleased with the flush to his face and the way his pupils were blown wide with desire. She leaned in and pressed a kiss to the heated skin of his cock. He made a choked noise.</p>
<p>She pressed kisses from the base of his cock to the tip, drawing out the moment before pressed a kiss directly to the tip of his cock while he shuddered and moaned. She flicked her tongue out and across the tip, tasting the slight tinge of soap and the salty taste of precum. She finally wrapped her lips around the tip of his erection and sucked, getting a feel for the width of him in her mouth before she leaned forward and took him as far into her mouth as she could, swallowing around him and pulling back. Remus pressed himself back against the tile wall of the shower, his hands opening and closing convulsively at his side searching for something to hold onto, trying to keep still. </p>
<p>The next time she swallowed him down he reached out and slid his fingers into her hair. She smiled around him before she bobbed her head up and down, once, twice. His breath shot out of him in a groan and his hips stuttered and jerked forward, making her gag and choke. She pulled off of him and coughed, wincing. She hated gagging.</p>
<p>“Shit, sorry!” Remus said. “did I hurt you?”</p>
<p>“No, I’m fine. Try to keep still though, yeah?”</p>
<p>“Right. Sorry.” He nodded emphatically. </p>
<p>Tonks resumed her work, licking a stripe up his cock and swallowing him down. She resumed bobbing her head, this time with one hand on his hip to keep him still. He shuddered and let out a near constant litany of gasps and groans. </p>
<p>Abruptly, he started trying to pull away. “Dora- I’m-“ he tried to warn. She gave one last deep swallow before she pulled her mouth away. She wrapped her hand around his shaft and began working it rapidly, the slide of her hand eased by spit. She felt his erection swell in her hand and then he was spurting thick ropes of cum over her hand. Tonks stood up as she finished easing him through the aftershocks and pressed her lips to his for a tender kiss. He had dropped his forehead to her shoulder in a rather tender moment.</p>
<p>It had been a moment of complete surrender and enjoyment, even though it had its hiccups like many of their intimate moments did. He had trusted her, and he had not been troubled with thoughts of his condition or of unworthiness, he was just present in the moment and enjoying an experience for the first time. She tried not to get philosophical about sex, but she did think it was fitting that their sex life had its hiccups just as their emotional connection had had its hiccups. </p>
<p>Tonks also enjoyed going to bed even more now, as more often than not she was able to curl herself around Remus, sharing each other’s body heat. She almost always got to be the big spoon, and she liked it better that way because she could feel the rise and fall of his chest as he breathed soundly, and she could press kisses to his shoulders and see his face without having to twist around.</p>
<p>They continued to go over to Sirius’ for Thursday nights drinks, and Tonks felt as though she was a part of their group now. Before, though the pair of old friends had never made her feel anything but welcome, she had always felt a bit like a third wheel to the pair’s evening. Starting this relationship with Remus, she had worried that she was disrupting the social order and that Sirius might resent their relationship. She quickly learned that she had misjudged her cousin, as he was thrilled for them and her and Remus’ relationship never changed the dynamic of the trio’s Thursday night drinks. </p>
<p>She knew that life would continue to have its hiccups. She was not a complete romantic fool, she knew that some domestic bliss and really great orgasms wouldn’t cure Remus of a lifetime of self-confidence and self-sabotage issues, there would always be problems both between them and with other people’s perception of them. She knew that he was still liable to spiral into negative self-talk and regret whenever she was faced with the realities of his condition, be it his poor health or prejudice from others, or their financial situation, but Tonks also felt more secure knowing that they both loved each other and that she had been able to talk him down before. </p>
<p>In this moment they were happy. They were together, and they were happy. She had always believed in the necessity of savouring the moment. Sooner rather than later the war would escalate. There would be bad days. Many bad days. Death would come for the Order members. There would be days where it felt like they were dropping like flies, being picked off one by one and you never knew when you would be next. The darkness of war would be revealed to the wider public who for now were comforted with the lies of their ministry. The wizarding world would descend into a darkness rivalled only by the haunted memories of the last war. The Ministry would fall to the darkness.</p>
<p>But for now, they were together, and they were happy.</p>
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